Prime Time

Ugh.  Even worse than usual.  A good night to write diaries.

Are they slow-moving, chief?

Yeah, they’re dead. They’re all messed up.

Chief, if I were surrounded by eight or ten of these things, would I stand a chance with them?

Well, there’s no problem. If you have a gun, shoot ’em in the head. That’s a sure way to kill ’em. If you don’t, get yourself a club or a torch. Beat ’em or burn ’em. They go up pretty easy.

Later-

Dave hosts Tom Dreesen and Ronnie Spector.  Jon has Paul Rudd, Stephen Laird Hamilton.  Conan hosts Amy Adams, Roger Waters, and Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros.

BoondocksSmokin’ With Cigarettes

Chief, do you think that we will be able to defeat these things?

Well, we killed nineteen of them today right in this area. The last three, we caught them trying to claw they’re way into an abandoned shed. They must of thought someone was in there, but there wasn’t though. We heard them making all kind of noises so we came over, beat ’em off and blasted them down.

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    • on 12/16/2010 at 01:39
      Author
    • on 12/16/2010 at 01:51

    My inspiration for the latest “Constitutional Game of Chicken” was a Republican lawyer (friend) who joined my M-i-L and I for lunch today. We were musing about the failure of Obama to get his promised agenda through congress, especially the Senate, and how many of his nominees are being blocked by “secret holds” when the subject of how Bush blocked the Democrats from using the filibuster when the Senate was held by the Republicans. Yup, the good old Dick Cheney threat of “nuclear option” that I discuss in the diary. Obama could have blocked the Republicans very easily but was too much of a coward to play the “cards that were dealt him”. Never mind chess, he sucks at poker.

    He has two years left to find the same chutzpah that Bush and Cheney had. I don’t hold out much “hope”.

    • on 12/16/2010 at 01:59
      Author

    Because of the obvious threat to untold numbers of citizens due to the crisis that is even now developing, this radio station will remain on the air day and night. This station and hundreds of other radio and TV stations throughout this part of the country are pooling their resources through an emergency network hook-up to keep you informed of all developments.

    At this hour, we repeat, these are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. The murders are taking place in villages and cities, in rural homes and suburbs with no apparent pattern nor reason for the slayings. It seems to be a sudden general explosion of mass homicide.

    We have some descriptions of the assassins. Eyewitnesses say they are ordinary-looking people. Some say they appear to be in a kind of trance. Others describe them as being misshapen monsters. At this point, there’s no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against.

    Reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour. Police and sheriff’s deputies and emergency ambulances are literally deluded with calls for help.

    The scene can be best described as mayhem. The mayors of Pittsburg, Philadelphia, and Miami, along with the governments of several eastern and midwestern states indicated that the National Guard may be mobilized at any moment, but that has not happened as yet.

    The main advice news reporters have been able to get from official sources is to tell private citizens to stay inside their homes behind locked doors. Do not venture outside for any reason until the nature of this crisis has been determined, and until we can advise what course of action to take. Keep listening to radio and TV for special instructions as this crisis develops further. Thousands of office and factory workers are being urged to stay at their places of employment, not to make any attempt to get to their homes. However, in spite of this urging and warning, streets and highways are packed with frantic people trying to reach their families or, apparently, to flee just anywhere. We repeat, the safest course of action at this time is simply to stay where you are.

    Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just received word that the President has called a meeting of his Cabinet to deal with the sudden epidemic of murder that has seized the eastern third of this nation. The meeting is scheduled to convene within the hour. Members of the Presidential Cabinet will be joined by officials of the FBI and military advisors. White House spokesmen are saying there will be an official announcement immediately following that meeting. This is the latest dispatch just received in our news room. The latest word also – this is from nation press services in Washington, D.C. – tells us that the emergency Presidential conference which we just mentioned will include high-ranking scientists from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

    So far, the best advice they are able to give the public is this quote from Chief T. K. Dunbar from Camden, North Carolina, who is quoted as saying, “Tell the people for God’s sake to get off the streets! Tell them to go home and lock their windows and doors up tight! We don’t know what kind of murder-happy characters we have here!” Chief Dunbar’s words were worn out in grisly fashion just hours ago near the small, normally peaceful town of Willard, Pennsylvania, where the driver of a tanker truck was mobbed by a cluster of apparently would-be assassins oblivious to all concerns for their own safety and blindly intent on attacking the driver. The tanker trunk went out of control and plowed into the gas pumps at a well-known eatery and truck stop known as Beakman’s. The truck and gas pumps caught on fire and exploded, apparently maiming and killing gas station and restaurant employees, together with a dozen or more patrons, motorists, and pedestrians. Several bodies were found mangled and mutilated. Many others appear to have been carried off by the attackers.

    Eyewitness accounts described the assassins as ordinary-looking people, misshapen monsters, people who look like they’re in a trance, and creatures that look like people but behave like animals. Some tell of seeing victims that looked as if they had been torn apart. This whole ghastly story began developing two days ago, and from that point on, these terrible events kept on snowballing in a reign of terror that has not abated. Military personel and law enforcement agencies have been working hard in an attempt to gain some kind of control of this situation, but most of their efforts have been marginally futile up to this particular time.

    Sound familiar?

    • on 12/16/2010 at 05:39

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30

    .The White House says the Congressman couldn’t know firsthand, because the President hasn’t spoken to him about this, nor said this to him about any of this, but Congressman Peter di Fazio of Oregon is tonight saying that Mr. Obama is “making phone calls saying this is the end of his presidency if he doesn’t get this bad deal.”

    That’s the context for the fifth story tonight.  After blasting Senate Democrats for caving to President Obama’s deal with the GOP on the two-year extension of the Bush tax cuts for the richest Americans, and a lower estate tax even than President Bush had, House Democrats are now standing their ground… at least until tomorrow until they’re expected to cave too.  [my transcript]

    Really!? The end of his presidency if he doesn’t get Republican tax cuts and the beginning of gutting Social Security???????

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