Rascal Flatts if you like that sort of thing. Austin City Limits has Bettye LaVette and Pinetop Perkins.
White Heaven is for decent, good, God-fearing Christians who just happen to, well, hate everyone and everything relating to black people. That means no Muhammad Ali, no hip-hop music and no fucking Jesse Jackson.
- ABC Family– Aladdin, Matilda
- AMC– Bad Boys x 2
- Animal Planet– Pit Boss x 2 (premiers)
- Bravo– The Green Mile x 2
- Comedy– Superhero Movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin
- E!– Knocked Up
- ESPN– Big East Tournament Final: Connecticut v. Louisville
- ESPN2– Big West Tournament Final, WAC Tournament Final: Boise State v. Utah State
- Food– Bobby Flay in Ireland (premier)
- FX– The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor x 2
- History– Pickers marathon
- Lifetime– Intimate Stranger, He Loves Me
- MTV– Legally Blonde
- National Geographic– Great Migrations marathon
- Nick– Best Player (World Premier, if you think Sam and Spencer are the best parts of iCarly you’ll probably like this)
- Oxygen– The Notebook, The Other Boleyn Girl
- Sci Fi– Battle of Los Angeles x 2 (World Premier)
- Speed– Supercross
- Spike– Band of Brothers marathon
- TBS– Wedding Crashers
- Turner Classic– Love Me Tonight, The Gay Desperado
- TNT– Journey to the Center of the Earth, Gladiator
- Toon– Zathura, God, the Devil and Bob
- USA– National Treasure: Book of Secrets
- Vs.– Mountain West Tournament Final, Bullriding
- VH1– Basketball Wives (Season Finale repeat)
Turns out that God really doesn’t have that much of a problem with racism. He doesn’t even remember slavery, except in February. Personally, I hate black people Ruckus. That’s why I did everything I could to make their lives miserable. Crack? Me. AIDS? Me. Reaganomics? C’mon. I’m in the name.
Later-
Now let us pray. Lord, I have spent my whole life hatin’ you for makin’ me black. And now I see I must hate myself and all those like me, and cause them misery just like your savior Ronald Reagan did. And if any of my words don’t come directly from the almighty God himself, then may I be struck by lightnin’ right this very instant!
- ABC Family– Liar Liar
- AMC– Money Train
- Comedy– Beer League
- Disney– Phineas and Ferb
- E!– The Soup (premier)
- Sci Fi– Mutant Chronicles
- TBS– The Love Guru, American Wedding
- Turner Classic– We Live Again, City Streets
- TNT– Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
- TV Land– Everybody Loves Ramond (rollover night, last episode, first episode repeats)
- Vs.– D-League Hoopies, Toros @ Legends
- VH1– New Jack City
SNL has Zach Galifianakis and Jessie J.
Boondocks– The Passion of Reverend Ruckus. The Venture Brothers– Hate Floats
The lightning bolt that saved Shabazz’s life seemed to have struck Uncle Ruckus on his tumor. Doctors would find no remaining signs of his cancer. Some called it a miracle… And maybe there are forces in this universe we don’t understand. But I still believe we make our own miracles.
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