A Man Who Can’t Ride a Horse

I was on a skiing trip with the band and while I did in fact end up with all the other crippled kids in the back of the bus (a football line backer wacked into me at speed and opened up a foot long gash in my leg with his edges, I would have kept skiing because I love it but my boot was full of blood) I was not as badly injured as some.

I was the second horse behind a future Miss Connecticut on a stately amble that was part of the amenities when her horse slipped and kicked the horse right ahead of me. That horse was a little pissed off (naturally) and climbed up on the back of Miss Connecticut’s horse and started biting her. It wasn’t life threatening mind you but it certainly put a damper on her stay.

Anyway I know very little about horses but even I understand that you hold the reins in one hand and wrap your legs around the horse instead of sticking them out like an ill fitting doll (perhaps I should call it an “action figure”, nah). Also you don’t dress up like Howdy Doody.

So in addition to his other reprehensible qualities, Roy Moore is not the cowboy he imagines himself.

Polls in Alabama have just closed.

@ 10 pm 515,244 Moore 501,518 Jones.
@ 10:22 pm 562,068 Jones 560,045 Moore 88% reporting.
@ 10:34 pm 585,183 Jones 572,380. Some news organizations are calling it for Jones (not MSNBC though).

@ 10:45 Mitch McConnell (admittedly biased) calls it for Jones.
@ 10:47 MSNBC calls it.