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Jan 09 2018

He Can’t See You Right Now. He’s With The Orchids.

I have been accused of being as rigid about schedules as Nero Wolfe as well as weighing as much which is absurd. He is a seventh of a ton and I a mere tenth (What?! You’ve never heard of Nero Wolfe? Get thee to a library or book store).

Nero nevertheless has a routine that he will seldom allow the exigencies of business or circumstance to alter-

  • 8:15 am: Breakfast in Bed
  • 9 – 11 am: Orchids
  • 11 am – 1 pm: Reading or (ugh) Work
  • 1:15 – 2ish: Lunch
  • 2 – 4 pm: Reading or (ugh) Work
  • 4 – 6 pm: Orchids
  • 6 – 7:15 pm: Reading or (ugh) Work
  • 7:15 – 9:30ish: Dinner
  • 9:30 – Bed Time: Torturing Archie, Drinking Beer, Reading or (ugh) Work

No, Nero does not like to work. He only detects for the money and half his time is spent arranging things so he extracts the maximum amount (Orchids are expensive) for the least effort with special attention to making sure he is not inconvenienced.

Archie Goodwin is his associate and employee. Wolfe keeps him around to do the heavy lifting and nag him into activity. Archie usually does this by pointedly working on the household accounts and suggesting inferior (but less costly) ingredients.

Funny thing is, Nero doesn’t really like Orchids either, he calls them “insipid, expensive, parasitic and temperamental.” I suppose he could have Cats, then he would get even less done.

The reason for this reflection is the release of The Donald’s schedule-

  • 8 – 11 am: Executive Time
  • 11 – 11:30 am: (Are you through yet?) Meeting with Chief of Staff John Kelly
  • 11:30 am – 12:30 pm Executive Time
  • 12:30 – 1:30 pm: Lunch
  • 1:30 – 2:45 pm: Executive Time
  • 2:45 – 3:30 pm: Meeting with National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster
  • 3:30 – 3:45 pm: Executive Time
  • 3:45 – 4:15 pm: Meeting with Head of Presidential Personnel Johnny DeStefano
  • 4:15 – 6:30 pm: Executive Time
  • 6:30 pm: Bed Time with Cheeseburgers and Faux Noise

Now look, you may bemoan his poor work habits, I’m grateful he doesn’t spend more time screwing things up.