He’s Always Been This Way

Look, I know people. I know people who know Rudy. He’s always been this way. A horrible human being who cheated on his wife and positioned the emergency command center for New York City specifically so he could cheat on his wife there. It was subsequently destroyed in the 9/11 attack because it was too close to obvious targets.

And it wasn’t his first wife, that was his cousin Regina Peruggi. While they were still technically married he started shacking up with Donna Hanover and his Catholic annulment was granted on the grounds he suddenly discovered he’d married his cousin who he’d known since childhood.

Hanover basically stopped speaking with him in the mid 90’s when it became clear he was having nooners (that’s sex during lunch hour so you don’t have to look it up) with his Press Secretary, Cristyne Lategano.

In 1999 he started shagging Judith Nathan and Donna was through with him. She booted him out of Gracie Mansion and filed for divorce. She got $6.8 Million and the kids. He married Nathan in 2003 and that lasted exactly 15 years. Judith filed on April 4th 2018, a little over a month ago.

So he’s a sex obsessed dog which makes him a perfect representative for Trump in his dispute against Stephanie Clifford.

That and the fact he’s a terrible lawyer, not quite Michael Cohen class but close enough. From people who’ve seen his technique he’s an ignorant bully who is at least wise enough to let his assistants (much better than he is) carry his water unless there’s glory and a photo-op in it.

During his terms as “America’s Mayor” he instituted a reign of racist Police Brutality across the city of which the most trenchant example is Abner Louima who had the handle of a toilet plunger shoved up his ass by Officer Justin Volpe in the 70th Precinct Station House while he was handcuffed and then rammed in his mouth so forcibly that Louima suffered severe dental damage and tooth loss. Afterwards Volpe paraded around the station with the bloody and excrement stained plunger.

“This is Giuliani-time,” he said.

John barely scratches the surface of what a miserable waste Rudy Giuliani is and because I am charitable and humane I wish him nothing but a long, long life of futile obscurity so he can contemplate his incompetence and crimes.