Formula One 2013: Circuit of the Americas Qualifying

A Drivers Tale

What a shallow “sport” this is.  You know, much as I hate to admit it, Fernando Alonso is the only driver who makes a damn bit of difference at all because he can make a piece of crap look like a contender.  Otherwise they’re interchangeable parts except for the truly bad ones who’s only qualification is the amount of personal sponsorship money they bring to a Team (I’m sure I’ve mentioned that almost every seat in Formula One is bought and paid for by bribery, not based on talent at all).

Sebastian Vettel is a despicable arrogant asshole who only knows how to drive one kind of race- get out of range quick, where he is aided and abetted by Red Bull’s massive sponsorship (2 Teams of 11, Red Bull and Toro Rossa) that allow them frequent passes when they violate formula rules for competitive advantage.  Otherwise he’s a talentless hack who’s challenge to Michael Schumaker’s records is as meaningless as Mark McGwire’s steroid dependent Home Runs (not that I’m a huge Schumaker fan either).

Though that does bring us to the subject of Lotus/Renault’s driver changes.  After the disappointing performance of Scuderia Marlboro and Mercedes at Buddh they suddenly find themselves in contention for 2nd in the Constructors’ Championship.  They haven’t been paying Kimi Raikkonen anyway, about which Bernie says–

He has signed a contract with somebody, they need to pay him. He now needs to do what he can to get paid. I feel sorry for him but he should have been a little more sensible when he signed the contract and know what he was signing for. If he drove for me, I’d have paid him. I am not his manager, but I would not have let him get into that trouble in the first place. If he wants to stand down for a couple of races, that’s up to him.

Well, as it turns out Raikkonen has been driving hurt with a back injury and underwent surgery for it last week.  He will not finish the season for Lotus.  After offering the seat to Schumaker (told you there was a connection) who is very happy in retirement and turned them down (deadbeats) they turned to Heikki Kovalainen.

The other driver news comes from McLaren who have unceremoniously dumped Sergio Perez despite his out qualifying Jensen Button on 8 occasions this year and beating him 5 times.  He’ll be replaced by rookie phenom Kevin Magnussen, their Danish development driver.  He’d better be prepared for a short stay since rumor has it that McLaren is going to wave serious wads of cash at Alonso when his contract is up in 2015.

Fat chance, though he’s a good fit for McLaren because he can make “a piece of crap look like a contender” as I said above.  He’d be a fool to leave the Scuderia just when it looks like they’re poised to deliver a reasonably good car.

Finally, it looks like Lew Hamilton has been driving around on a cracked chassis for the last 2 or 3 races so he gets a replacement.

Ecclestone’s convenient senility tomorrow.

Live qualifying now on CNBC, repeat at 6:30 pm on Vs.