Jan 27 2015

The Daily/Nightly Show (Top Shot)

You know, if I had to pick a military specialty (outside of Supreme Commander for which I’m eminently qualified, just ask me) it would be a sniper because I have a keen appreciation of a well aimed kill from outside the range of immediate relatiation which is why when people like me are captured we’re generally executed on the spot as the cowards we are.

Alas my eyesight barely qualifies me for bayonet work and my natural distrust of authority makes me a poor match for the military and besides, I can’t drink with them.

No, seriously.  I ran into some Navy recruiters one night and I woke up in a parking lot miles away with no idea how I got there.  It’s my only black out and an experience I’m not willing to repeat because I could just as easily have found myself in Shanghai and as much as I appreciate the history of the oldest culture on earth I have no desire to visit as a victim of a press gang.  I do my own reporting and don’t need no stinkin’ paparazzi.

We’ll be talking tonight about Chris Kyle, the racist mass murdering asshole celebrated by the senile Clint Eastwood who was so stupid (how stupid was he Gene?), so stupid he gave a guy suffering from extreme PTSD a gun and turned his back on him.

Got a Darwin Award for that he did, but maybe he wanted to die.

We could have asked Larry anything about Veterans including why we treat them like crap when they’re no use as soldiers anymore, but we missed our window of opportunity.

Tonight’s panel- Irving Nicholas, Paul Rickhoff, Matt Taibbi, Sabrina Jalees.

Continuity

It’s because they’re Black Jon

This week’s guests-

The Daily Show

No, not the colostomy Castro, the twin who couldn’t get elected and is now HUD Secretary.

rustymancuso581

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  10. Here at the Cafe, we’ve bought our milk and our bread and our poitin, and we’re all buckled in for the Storm Of The Millennium, so we sent a lot of the staff home early. Which means we’re serving up nothing complicated, just a helping of Moose Stew from master chef Princess Dumbass Of The Northwoods, who served it up, hot and piping, to the folks in Iowa this weekend. It’s almost too rich to serve, but here’s a kid’s portion to get you started.

       “When will they let us control our own care? When will they do to stop causing our pain, and start feeling it again? Well, in other words, um… is Hillary a new Democrat or an old one? Now, the press asks, the press asks “can anyone stop Hillary?” Again, this is to forego a conclusion, right, it’s to scare us off, to convince that – a pantsuit can crush patriots!?”

    “Forego a conclusion”?

    I swear to god, Bristol was more coherent on that police tape.

  13. Where’s my bailout?  

  34. Yes, but I wouldn’t turn my back on him/her.

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