What?! You don’t have one in your home town?
You see, the thing you big state people have to understand is that no place in Connecticut is more than an hour and a half away. My Aunty Mame used to ask me, “So, do you hang out in New Haven (home of Benedict Arnold, my favorite traitor) much?”
Hell no! It’s like 45 minutes!
Anyway, this is what I think of every time I drive into Stamford-
I’ve never done the parade in person (I don’t like crowd scenes, it’s usually quite cold, and c’mon- 45 minutes!) but I’m told it looks something like this-
That’s the 2014 edition, this year’s is not posted yet. As you can see the highlight and unique feature is when the balloons do a 360 degree spin in front of the old Town Hall (now only a historic building, the new Town Hall is just another faceless glass cased brick of drones).
This year they added two new balloons, Kung Fu Panda and Daniel Tiger, for a total of 14 and 10 marching bands with the usual floats and smaller balloons. The event drew around 120,000 spectators.
Not bad for Stars Hollow.
Oh, you thought I was talking about that other parade run by the giant retail conglomerate Macy’s with employees who are invited to spend 72 sleepless volunteer hours setting up and marching and THEN work an 8 hour shift with the nasty Black Thursday masses to get a jump on the Holiday, this is where you make your bucks in retail (and the last 8 years have been terrible, don’t believe the lies), Season.
Merry whatever- I’ve worked that, fortunately in Shipping and Receiving which meant I didn’t have to deal with the blood on the floor except to mop it up. Sit your nasty asses on the couch and sleep through some Throwball why don’t you?
Anyway, that fiasco will see the return of Sinclair Oil’s Dino mascot (Yay Climate Change!), a new Ronald McDonald (do you want fries with that?), Scrat and Acorn, and Angry Bird’s Red. There will be a total of 16 big balloons and 12 marching bands.
Stars Hollow not looking so shabby now, is it?
Of course there will be the usual show casing of Broadway stars in Herald Square for which you will want to watch the NBC coverage, unfortunately Justin Bieber was a last minute cancellation (I will pause for your collective aww…).
If you want to see things first tune into CBS which films further up the parade route, the festivities should be starting right about…
Now.
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Nogales HS
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Paddington
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Lewis the Duck, mascot of an extended stay motel
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Big Apple Circus
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Mr. Peanut
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Lewis Cass HS (over a third of the student body is a member).
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Also terrible
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Bill the Bear
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Sophia Carson
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A visit to New York. Thrilling. I’ve been in a New York Hotel room and I have a bigger closet.
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Toothless and Lindtz
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And now their real commercial
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FDNY
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Harold the Fireman
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Daily News Big Apple
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Dino, first time in 40 years.
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Gibson
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North Hardin HS
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Mount Rushmore and a “Christian” rock band.
Pfui.
You know what happens when you play Christian rock backwards. …
Your punchline here.
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Ugh. Country.
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AFLAC Duck
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Ocean Spray has a new float
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West Chester University
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University of Illinois
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Snoopy
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Halmark
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Santa. Not soon enough for me.
This is a horrible parade, naked in it’s commercialism and greed, I have a much more positive attitude about the Rose Parade.
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