Have yourself one. If you can. If you can’t, fake it. I’m going to. That’s what I’ve decided. I’m not feeling it. I’m trying. I knew it would be hard, and it is. I see Mom everywhere, but she’s not here, and it’s awful. But I’m just going along, I can’t be this blubbering mess, I’ve got kids, man. So, we’re just having a laid back Christmas.
We have a nice tree. Cleetus got it half price and last minute. It looks really good too. My little man was so closed mouthed about what he might want this year on all but two things, that I had to guess on everything else, and just hope he’s going to be okay with it. Pretty sure that as long as I nailed the two named things, he will be. Baboo was too easy, books, games, clothes and cash. He’s reached that age. Me and Cleetus don’t do the gifts, really. I got him a new pair of pajama bottoms because he needs them, does that count?
As for me, well–I got all of anything I could wish for in the way of art supplies well before Christmas. The only thing I was missing was good paints, and my Dad took care of that as an early Christmas present, so that I could work, which, ironically, I cannot do right now if I want the house to stay in any way tidy-ish for Christmas. What can I say? It’s a small house with a multi-use central big table. But right after the ham I expect to take it right back, so I’m not stressing that half-finished piece, or the second just started one. Well, I’m not stressing it that much. Okay, I’m stressing it a little! It’s just that I would really rather be doing that right now. I really would.
I have an old friend coming over for Christmas. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that, but I always have room for one more. She’s back in the area after a few years and her family is no longer here, so she can share mine. Don’t get all sappy, I’m not some do-gooder, all my life, whoever was here for dinner was here for dinner, and sometimes that was on Christmas. And I think it will help me not dwell, if you know what I mean.
So, have yourselves a merry little, my friends. I’m going to try. We’re all just people, trying to muddle through.
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So I know an artist. Makes me want to hack off an ear or something. Lead chromate yellow. Don’t mix it with white sulphate, it turns things brown in time.
Me? I work in photons.
We all need a little Christmas now
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I find I really miss tipping comments. Huh. Change…I hate it.
i am bah humbugging this year… i miss my babies that i left behind and i’m just not in a christmassy place right now. honestly, friday will be just another day for me. the fact that i’m not crying all the time is a watershed (pun intended) development. my heart hurts too much to think. it will get easier i’m sure, but these holidays ain’t that time…
so i’m witcha in spirit my sister!