AFC Wild Card- Chiefs @ Texans

Yeah, it’s that time of year again where you get to decide whom you hate the most and since neither of these teams is totally reprehensible (unless you count the fact I knew a Chiefs fan who wasn’t a complete jerk, but more an annoying god-squader nerd) I have no rooting interest. In fact if you click through the link you’ll find it’s Texans v. Texans (though it is Dallas v. Houston, so you can get your dander up about that). I suppose the Texans are from Texas and that might be enough for some, I’m certainly in favor of letting them secede and deporting all the gun nuts. There is no amount of money that could persuade me to live there myself.

The sad truth is that there is not a more boring sport than Throwball except for Turn Left Racing (which hardly qualifies as sport at all) and the fact that they’re both enormously popular below the Mason-Dixon line merely confirms my theory that the sun causes brain damage.

This actually explains a lot about my life as a vampire.

Anyway, on paper the Chiefs (11 – 5) ought to rock all over the Texans (9 – 7) and I’ll be surprised if they don’t. In the big picture, and I’ll lay it down right at the start, it will be Patsies v. Panthers in Super Bowl L (hard to imagine I’ve lived throught all of them) and I’m proud that I remember Latin numbers while the NFL is committed to Arabic (jihadist traitors!).

4:25 pm on ABC and ESPN.

108 comments

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  1. Vent Hole

  2. Chiefs 106 yard return. Chiefs 7 – 0.

  3. Touch back. Texans from their 20

  4. Chiefs from their 45

  5. Ok, 20 because of the penalty

  6. Chiefs from their 36

  7. Chiefs from their 46

  8. Texans from their 16

  9. 4th down. KC punts to the Texans 1st & 10 from their own 17

  10. 2nd & 10 at 16

  11. 3rd & 8

  12. Pass intercepted by KC. 1st & 10 @ Texans 33

  13. INT. Chiefs @ the Texans 33.

  14. 2nd & 5 on Houston 28 Intercept. Texans ball on own 17

  15. INT. Texans @ their 17

  16. 1st & 10 at 28

  17. 2nd & 6 on 32

  18. Flag pass interference 1st & 10 at 32

  19. 1st & 10 @ KC 46

  20. Texans from their 44

  21. 1st & 10 @ 33

  22. Texans @ Chiefs 33

  23. 3rd & 10 @ 30

  24. Intercept by KC. 1st & 10 @ own 42

  25. Fumble Chiefs from their 42

  26. Chiefs from Texans 40

  27. 1st & 10 at Texans 40 at the start of 2nd quarter

  28. 4th& 1 @ 31. FG attempt

  29. 49 yd FG Good. KC 10 – Texans 0

  30. Field Goal. Chiefs 10 – 0

  31. Touchback. Texans 1 & 10 @ own 20

  32. Tuochback. Texans from their 20

  33. 1st & 10 @ own 33

  34. 2nd & 17

  35. Texans from their 33

  36. 3rd & 12

  37. Texans punt to KC. 1st & 10 @ 30

  38. Chiefs from their 30

  39. Chiefs from Texans 44

  40. 4th dwon FG attempt 4th dwon FG attempt

  41. FG good. 49 yrds KC 13 – Texans 0

  42. Texans ball 1st & 10 @ own 20

  43. Touchback. Texans from their 20

  44. 1st & 10 @ own 36

  45. Texans from their 36

  46. 1st & 10 @ KC 13

  47. Texanas from Chiefs 13

  48. 2nd & 3 @ KC 6

  49. 1st & goal

  50. 2nd & goal

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