Apr 17 2016

Formula One 2016: Shanghai

Like Swamp Castle the Shanghai Formula One circuit is built, literally, in a swamp. Large portions of the track and Grandstand are actually floating on large chunks of plastic foam (about 2 years worth of total Chinese production; though, this being a global economy, it’s not as if they had some Stalin-like command to build T-34s to the exclusion of all else, they simply went out and bought it. Even so a quarter of the world’s entire production of Polystyrene in 2003.).

This has made it about as reliable and stable as that floating dock you had to haul out every fall before the ice crushed it to kindling (hey, I’m a child of privilege, I know how to ski and golf too).

In fact some sections (Turn 1 Grandstand) have fallen over, burnt down, and then sunk into the swamp. Someday lad, all this will be yours. C’mon, she has vast tracts of land. No singing.

In the mean time it’s hardly a surprise that it rained just before Qualifying and the floating section of the front straight still had 2 rivers flowing across the sections that were a little waterlogged when an adventurous Manor car hit it on SuperSofts and then, of course, the wall.

Oops.

Another oops was Hamilton who also starts from the back row after a gearbox change and an electrical failure that took him out in the first round. Don’t weep for Mercedes, Rosberg starts from the Front Row next to Ricciardo’s Red Bull and then the usual brace of Ferraris.

There have been a raft (another object that floats on Polystyrene) of electrical failures, mostly manifested as brake fires and blowouts since with the introduction of KERS it’s no longer mechanical and is instead by wire. Pirelli has not helped because it has insisted on unusually high tire pressures which reduce grip and increase heat. On offer are the same old Mediums, Softs, and SuperSofts.

About the only victory for the racing proletariat (that would be drivers and fans) so far is that we seem to have permanently ditched the confusing and ill-begotten Qualifying format for the more traditional 2015 system. The drivers had a celebratory dinner where the check was split 18 ways. Some insist that the reigning World Champion usually picks up the tab but Hamilton insists it was Rosberg’s idea (democratic don’t you know).

And serves you right, you skinflint, for ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.

The current bone of contention is the radio transmissions which smart teams are already starting to game with track boards (remind me to talk to you about tradecraft someday) and which is fundamentally as enforceable as signs in Baseball.

Oh, and Alonso is back. Good for him.

rustymancuso581

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  1. Vent Hole

  2. Have I mentioned I hate the Far Eastern Races? They totally screw with my wake/sleep cycles.

  3. I’m watching through the first turn wreckage, then I’ll catch the rest on dvr.

  4. Hype delayed for Hockey.

  5. Hey, it’s the race.

  6. Hulkenberg 3 Grid penalty for having his wheel fall off.

  7. We race

  8. Kafir hits Raikkonen and Vettel

  9. Hamilton loses front wing

  10. Twisted chunks of smoking metal. Now for the replay.

  11. Raikkonen, Hamilton, Grosjean, and Nasr pit

  12. Ricciardo pits, picked up some carbon shards and cut a tire.

  13. Safety Car, everyone pits

  14. Button take on Mediums

  15. Hamilton got hit by Nasr, Ericsson by Grosjean

  16. All caused by Kvyat mind you

  17. Hamilton pits again for Super Softs

  18. Lap 6 of 56

    Rosberg
    Massa
    Alonso
    Werhlein
    Gutierrez
    Kvyat
    Palmer
    Haryanto
    Perez
    Bottas

  19. Safety car coming in on lap 8

  20. Oh, Hamilton changed back to Softs. No worries says Mercedes, we have a plan.

  21. Lap 10 of 56

    Rosberg
    Massa
    Kvyat
    Alonso
    Wehrlein
    Gutierrez
    Perez
    Bottas
    Vettel
    Button

  22. Lap 15 of 56

    Rosberg
    Kvyat
    Massa
    Vettel
    Perez
    Alonso
    Bottas
    Sainz
    Ricciardo
    Hamilton

  23. Alonso pits

  24. Vettel damaged his front wing on Bottas, local yellow.

  25. Vettel pits for Softs, doesn’t change wings.

  26. Kvyat, Massa, Sainz, Ricciardo pit

  27. Gutierrez pits

  28. Rosberg pits

  29. Verstappen pits

  30. Lap 20 of 56

    Rosberg
    Bottas
    Hamilton
    Kvyat
    Vettel
    Button
    Perez
    Massa
    Ericsson
    Sainz

  31. Bottas and Hamilton pit

  32. Hulkenberg penalty for driving too slow in pit lane

  33. Lap 25 of 56

    Rosberg
    Kvyat
    Vettel
    Massa
    Perez
    Button
    Bottas
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Raikkonen

  34. Bottas and Hamilton pit. Hamilton? #5.

  35. Massa pits

  36. Lap 31 of 56
    Rosberg
    Kvyat
    Vettel
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Raikkonen
    Verstappen
    Alonso
    Massa
    Bottas

  37. Alonso pits again

  38. Gutierrez pits again

  39. Kvyat and Vettel pit

  40. Rosberg pits again

  41. Ricciardo and Raikkonen pit

  42. Lap 37 of 56
    Rosberg
    Vettel
    Kvyat
    Verstappen
    Massa
    Bottas
    Hamilton
    Ricciardo
    Perez
    Button

  43. Verstappen pits again

  44. Lap 40 of 56
    Rosbeerg
    Vettel
    Kvyat
    Massa
    Hamilton
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Perez
    Raikkonen
    Button

  45. Nasr pits

  46. Lap 45 of 56

    Rosberg
    Vettel
    Kvyat
    Ricciardo
    Massa
    Hamilton
    Raikkonen
    Bottas
    Perez
    Sainz

  47. Hulkenberg pits again

  48. Lap 50 of 56

    Rosberg
    Vettel
    Kvyat
    Ricciardo
    Raikkonen
    Massa
    Hamilton
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Sainz

  49. The word on Hamilton (look, I’m NOT a fan, I just hate Scuderia Marlboro and Red Bull) is that the front wing damage extended to the front of the chassis and he’s been driving without down force about the whole race. Not so bad if he can finish in the points after 5 (+?) pits.

  50. Final

    Rosberg
    Vettel
    Kvyat
    Ricciardo
    Raikkonen
    Massa
    Hamilton
    Verstappen
    Sainz
    Bottas

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