A Man, A Plan, A Canal

Did you know my Great Grandfather worked on the Panama Canal? Not anything glamorous like blasting or running a steam shovel. Nah, he worked in the payroll office passing out checks.

One of the things they’d do as they arrived was throw their (Panama of course) hat off the boat when they arrive to symbolize their determination to stay.

So they had oatmeal for breakfast in the morning at the Commissary (basically a great muddy tent with tables and benches) and he was sitting there across from one of his boat buddies who liked cream, sugar and raisins with his oatmeal.

At least until one of the raisins rose out of the milk, dusted off the sugar, and crawled out of the bowl.

Now if you have a certain turn of mind you’d say “Ooh, extra crunchy protein goodness,” but my Great Grandfather’s breakfast companion was not of like and took the next boat back despite the waterlogged condition of his hat though Great Gramp stuck out his entire 2 year contract and thought it about the most exciting thing he ever did other than bowl 2 consecutive 300 games (20 frames of strikes!) which took up about the same number of pages in his unpublished Biography.

What makes me remember that particular story is this item about the Zumwalt–

US navy’s most expensive destroyer breaks down in Panama Canal
Associated Press
Tuesday 22 November 2016 22.27 EST

The most expensive destroyer ever built for the US navy has suffered an engineering problem in the Panama Canal and had to be towed to port.
…
USNI News, a publication of the US Naval Institute, reported on its website that the ship was in the canal when it lost propulsion.

Crew also saw water getting into bearings that connect electrical motors to driveshafts, the website reported.

The ship also suffered minor “cosmetic” damage which frankly can only have improved its looks since it’s the butt-ugliest ship I’ve ever seen float. Oh yeah, I actually saw it while it was being built with the kind of tumblehome bow anyone who’s ever sailed in heavy weather hates because it sends the spray right in your face and hasn’t been seen since the U.S.S. Maine (coincidence?) sank in Havana.

The reason cosmetic damage is significant is that it ruins your stealthiness which is the only reason we can claim the $1 Trillion F-35 is superior to airplanes that can actually fly and shoot guns and drop bombs and stuff which Russia and China can defeat because they’ve had the blueprints for years.

At a mere $4.4 Billion a Zumwalt is a bargain basement boondoggle by comparison.

Good luck with your high-tech toys. We’ve traded everything we know actually works for an expensive illusion and are absolutely a paper tiger. Seriously, a small bunch of guys armed with rifles designed in 1947 have thwarted us for 15 years. Tell me again how we’re the world’s only Superpower.