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Jan 25 2018

Illuminati Conspiracists

As I’ve mentioned I’m a member of the Illuminati, a bona fide Freemason, A.F. & A.M., Past Master of my Lodge.

Outsiders call us a “Secret Society”. There’s not much secret about it. We’re a bunch of old cranky Guys. Not necessarily White, I had something to do with that, and not necessarily Christian. Catholics for instance shun us because we’re dangerously liberal though we’re perfectly happy to accept them or Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus… You get the picture. Still we continue to be relentlessly Male which I have stuggled against to no avail because we are a “brotherhood” and a “fraternity”.

Kind of the reason I’m not active much anymore but once in always in (unless you don’t pay your dues which I stopped a long time ago) and it always made my Grandfather very proud I was a member as he was. We’ll get back to that “brotherhood” part in a bit.

But the meeting itself starts with a little ritual play which you can find accurately described in detail all over the Intertubz so I won’t bother you with it. Then the Secretary gives a report and the Treasurer gives a report (which everyone bitches and moans about), there are final results of all the events that have happened since the last meeting and updates on the progress of upcoming events, and finally a quick section of New Business before there’s another little play (We meet upon the Level and part along the Square). Then you move out to the Lounge where there are refreshments (we have an Officer in charge of that, The Steward, and he has a budget) and people sit around and socialize. Some play games and others chat about their medical condition which is uniformly deteriorating.

Sounds like fun, huh? It’s just like every other Club, nothing “secret” about it.

Nor is there much “secret” about our rituals (the little plays) which (again) you can find depicted in detail anywhere if you care to look. Some people make a big deal about the obviously symbolic penalties for revealing them (because people die in gruesome ways though none as bad as those used by the Inquisition or the notorious Scandinavian Blood Eagle) and in fact they have been used as metaphors and inspiration for serious crimes, but that’s like blaming Dungeons and Dragons or Video Games.

Back to the “Brotherhood” part. As a Mason you take an oath to keep the secrets of a fellow Mason, imparted to you as such, murder and treason excepted and those left to your own discretion. You should also consider that mere membership in a Masonic Lodge has been considered treasonous at many times in many places because we believe in the ideals of the Enlightenment.

Folks, it’s not Omertà or even “snitches get stitches”, but I won’t give up the silly walks and gibberish (gang signs, I know) because “Brotherhood” is about trust. If you can’t be trusted to keep the silliest things secret, what exactly can I trust you with?

I would trust my activist biological Brother not just to help me dispose of a body, no questions asked, I regularly delegate him to perform tasks I find boring or inconvenient which he fulfills not only without complaint, but as well as I could have done them myself.

That’s “Brotherhood”. Keeping secrets is the least of it.

So that’s the great hidden mystery of Masonry. Instead of “Secret Society” we prefer “a society that has secrets” and we have them for a reason, it’s a test of fidelity. The secrets are unimportant.

How is this relevant?

Glad you asked. Currently Conservatives (of the Trump type) contend there is a “Secret Society”, a treasonous “Conspiratorial Cabal” of “Deep State” operatives in the heart of the FBI working 24/7 to sabotage the current Misadministration based entirely on this

Are you even going to give out your calendars? Seems kind of depressing. Maybe it should just be the first meeting of the secret society.

The only thing that makes this the least bit significant is that it was a single text among 50,000 sent by FBI lawyer Lisa Page who was never part of any investigation of Trump or his campaign to FBI agent Peter Strzok who was part of both James Comey’s anti-Espionage investigation of the Trump campaign and (for a short time) Robert Mueller’s Special Counsel Team.

It’s not even connected to any particular text thread (not even the missing ones because the metadata would show that). It’s totally random.

I invite you to join me and my fellow Illuminati in LMFAO.