Among other things I have done.

If you’ve been a careful reader you’ll remember my original intention was not to be capo di tutti myself but instead my buddy’s consigliere. Though it was a job I later held myself one of his posts was Chief Training Officer (of course I held a lieutenancy while he served). This included running motivational seminars and while they were pieces of work (we’re both very good trainers and public speakers) reading self help books to get material made me at vomit in my mouth a little because they’re all the same and there’s only so much Anthony Mahavoric (Tony Robbins) I can take.

Anyway he and I also did the DJ thing together and one day he picked up this compilation of songs from Island Records and we were previewing it for stuff we could use when we came across Adventures In Success by an artist going by the obviously fake name of Will Powers.

Well, it was a big hit, mostly because it was short I imagine, but also different. What puts me in mind of it is this Super Bowl commercial with Keanu Reeves-

That’s been popping up all over the Olympics coverage too and eventually got so obnoxious (to me, I’ve only heard it 18 Million times) that I felt compelled to look it up and now I’m sharing it with you. This is the full official video with lyrics.

It’s you, only you
It’s you, only you
It’s you, only you

You are an important person, a rare individual
A unique creature
There has never been anyone just like you
And never will be
You have talents and abilities no one else has
In some ways, you’re superior to any other living person
The power to do anything you can imagine is within you
When you discover your real self
By practicing a few simple laws of success

First law of success
Take inventory of your assets
Don’t be modest or critical
Be open and objective
Get a pencil and paper
Write down every good thing about yourself you can think of

Chorus:
It’s you
Make it habit, make it happen
Only you
Make it habit, make it happen
It’s you
Make it habit, make it happen
Only you
Make it habit, make it happen
It’s you
Make it habit, make it happen
Only you
Make it habit, make it happen

Second law of success
Write a description of the person you’d like to be
Describe your personal dress, your home, your automobile
Your desired occupation and income, be honest
Now, go even deeper
Describe the inner person you’d like to be
Let your mind run wild
Assume you can be anything that you desire
The fact is, you will become the person you honestly describe
You can’t avoid it

Chorus

Third law of success
Concentrate on a mental image of the person you’d like to be
Paint a picture in your imagination of who you want to become
Constantly hold this visual in your mind’s eye
See yourself performing and responding like a champion
Feel the confidence and courage that radiate from this type of person

It’s you, only you
It’s you, only you
It’s you, only you

These three laws are powerful and effective in changing lives
They’ll work for you without fail if you’re persistent in applying them

Make it habit, make it happen
Make it habit, make it happen
Make it habit, make it happen
Make it habit, make it happen

Chorus

It’s you
Make it habit, make it happen
Only you
Make it habit, make it happen
It’s you
Make it habit, make it happen
Only you

Lynn Goldsmith is Will Powers and her day gig is as a Rock Band photographer which explains why Todd Rundgren, Sting, Nile Rodgers and Carly Simon appear on the cut.

It’s all kind of a joke-

Released on Island Records, it was the manifesto of Goldsmith’s alter ego Will Powers, a pseudo self-help guru, who exposed the nation’s obsession with its own psyche across eight tracks that trod an ambiguous line between parody and sincerity.

So yeah, Motivational Speaker. Me and Heinz Doofenshmirtz.