That Time We Were Right To Murder All Those Teenage Girls In A Lake

OK, just for the record all but one died by hanging (plus 5 in prison) and 6 of them were men and many of the women, no offense intended, were not teenagers though some accusers were. Also Salem no longer exists except as a neighborhood of the town of Danvers, Massachusetts where they have a great annual celebration of Samhaim not that I believe in Wicca either, I’m an atheist through and through.

I’m sure in 17th century Puritan New England that would have been quite sufficient for a good stoning or any of the other Inquisitorial “encouragements” for repentance. I’ve personally always been a great fan of the “Blood Eagle” where your lungs are ripped out and arranged on your back like wings but it’s really kind of a Viking thing- the Vatican was always more into Auto-da-fé, that’s how they done Jeanne d’Arc before they made her a Saint.

She was a teenager.

And I hate to say it, but it makes kind of a twisted sense if you accept as your logical predicate that corporeal existence matters hardly at all and the fate of your eternal soul is the only subject of consequence. Viewed in that frame your suffering regardless of pain and length and indeed the entire mortal span of degradation and servitude are mere transitory daydreams, illusions of free will distracting you from your glorious infinity of devotion at the righteous hand of your master, a jealous and vengeful Yahweh subject to random spasms of intemperate rage and destruction who loves you so very much He can barely tolerate your presence in His perfect Kingdom of worshipful sycophancy.

The stench of your sin is upon you, you know.

I’ll tell you again and again that Methodists are not mainstream Catholics in rebellion like Lutherans and Episcopalians, they are flat out fundamentalist evangelicals who thought the Puritans were lax in their religious practices (hence “Methodists”) with very strange ideas, even for Christians. I gave it up when I was 12, but I share the indoctrination with W and Hillary.