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Jun 20 2018

“How much for the little girl?”

The women. How much for the women?

What?

The women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children!

There’s this seafood joint I go to with TMC sometimes because it has the 4th best Mussels I’ve ever had (the best ones are served in a recycled paper bowl from a Wharf Shack) and depending on the time of day and how polite I’m pretending to be (sun you know) I may or may not have a view of the Harbor and a little pocket park the deck overlooks.

The principal feature of this green space is a concrete statue of Beelzebub (or perhaps a lesser known Sumerian God, I could ask the Artist because it’s one of those kind of places) that children love because it’s great to climb on and basically a chair.

Whenever I see one I say “Yessss, yes child. Sit in the lap of Beelzebub.” and rehearse this scene from The Blues Brothers until TMC starts throwing empty Mussel shells at me. I’m not sure if she’s worried the kids or their mother will hear me (they are waaay too far away) or the waiter will (which would be rude).

Possibly she thinks it’s not funny which puts me in a class with George Clooney (Tomorrowland, please keep up because now we’re going to change direction rapidly).

Among other places we’ve been is Comet Ping Pong, 3 doors down from Politics and Prose the well known D.C. bookstore.

Should I locate it so directly? I’m not sure. It’s easy to find and a perfectly harmless place. The pizza doesn’t suck even in comparison to Pepe’s (which is the best in the world, ask anyone) and you can watch your children play ping pong in a kid pen on big screen TV while you interact with adults.

It’s notorious for being the subject of a right wing conspiracy theory that there’s a basement pedophile sex factory run by Hillary Clinton and John Podesta beneath it. This is of course not true.

However Wingers have a bad habit of projection and for every Anthony Weiner (c’mon, not even George Clooney’s wife wants to look at his dick pix) we can cite 10 Roy Moores and Mark Foleys and David Vitters and Larry Craigs. They sin in their heart and because they get a pass from Yahweh (unmerited favor by grace) go and get themselves thrown out of shopping malls for creeping on the teens.

Ick.

So where are the girls? Where are the babies?

It’s probably nothing much other than the desire to portray these young men as dangerous gang members likely to shoot your sorry white ass in the street for your $30 Timex which they will sell to finance their crack/meth/opium habit and the money generated used to finance guns and lawyers to assault the White States of Amurikkka and let Black and Brown and Female people elect our gubmint.

Or they could be shipping them off.

It would be irresponsible not to speculate. Remember, here at DocuDharma and The Stars Hollow Gazette we publish nothing but the most scurrilous rumors.

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