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Sep 10 2018

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket.

Now I’ve got a nickel in my pocket.

Look, in a little while I’m going to hold an action sale at Cocoanut Manor, the suburb terrible or beautiful. You must come over. There’s going to be entertainment, sandwiches, and the auction. If you don’t like auctions, we can play contract. Here it is – Cocoanut Manor – 42 hours from Times Square by railroad. 1,600 miles as the crow flies and 1,800 as the horse flies. There you are – Cocoanut Manor glorifying the American sewer and the Florida sucker. It’s the most exclusive residential district in Florida. Nobody lives there. And the climate – ask me about the climate. I dare you.

Very well – how is the…

I’m glad you brought it up. Our motto is Cocoanut Beach, no snow, no ice, and no business.

And now whether you like it or not I’m going to tell you all about Florida real estate. It is the first time it has ever been mentioned here – today.

I’m sorry, Mr. Hammer, but I’m afraid…

Do you know that property values have increased since 1929 one thousand per cent? Do you know that this is the biggest development since Sophie Tucker? Do you know that Florida is the show spot of America and Cocoanut Manor the black spot of Florida?

You told me that yesterday.

I know but I left out a comma.

I’ll not stand here any longer and be insulted this way.

Aw, don’t go away and leave me here alone, you stay here and I’ll go away.