Super Bowl LIII

Isn’t that the backside of a sail?

Let’s get this out of the way first. There is no team in the NFL I despise more than the Patsies, not even the ‘Boys. So my rooting is entirely with the Scams despite the fact they stole the Super Bowl from the ‘Aints (who are at least tolerable) through bad officiating.

And the NFL as an Institution is nothing more than a Blackface Minstrel Show where the only real thing is the Traumatic Brain Injury Owners inflict on their Slaves.

This has become a secular holiday and a corrupt display of late stage capitalism through relentless marketing. Only the naked advertisements will hold my attention as I find Throwball in general intensely soporific (also Football, give me some Curling or Darts).

So close.

Anyway, this year’s controversy is whether Gladys Knight ought to be singing at all much less “Anacreon In Heaven“.

Once heard it can not be unheard. Just saying.

The headliner is Maroon 5. Maroon 5!!! Who are they again? Go back and watch House. Not even my best.

And all because of Kaepernick and his knee problem.

Oh. You think it’s not about race?

Tom Brady’s New England Patriots Are Team MAGA, Whether They Like It or Not
by Corbin Smith, Daily Beast
02.01.19

WE’RE STILL HERE! WE’RE STILL HERE! Obviously, Brady is referring to his aging, decrepit, cheating-ass squad’s progression to the big game. But, imagine you didn’t know anything about football, or who Tom Brady was, or anything like that. You would think that you were watching some square-jawed grifter throwing red meat to the hogs at an alt-right rally, screaming at the libs who thought Nancy Pelosi and her gender warriors were gonna keep DECENT AMERICAN FOLKS from BEING HERE.

Of course, even if you do know stuff about Brady you may still think he’s on his way to pursuing this line of grifting. He flashed a red MAGA hat, an accoutrement that is gaining more and more traction as a symbol of white nationalism in America, in his locker back in the primary days. He wasn’t the only one! Patriots’ Coach Bill Belichick wrote a goddamn letter to Trump right before the end of the campaign that basically amounted to an endorsement, that Trump then read on
stage
. And Pats’ owner Robert Kraft is also his pal, and was even shouted out at Trump’s pre-Inauguration dinner in D.C. for his most deep-pocketed donors.

The people I am sitting here roasting for their support of Trump have tried to run the same playbook. Brady backed off a little when his wife clearly told him to, said that he didn’t actually have political opinions at all, that actually he was “a positive person,” and that Trump was just his friend he supported because he always supports his friends, even if he did think it would be cool if he won. I’m not actually with him, he’s just my friend is somehow even more unnerving in its way, because what kind of weirdo do you have to be to be friends with Donald Trump? Is he a fun guy to hang out with? Is Brady really so vacant that he hangs out with this doddering fool for access to golf courses? If Brady really does want to satisfy the Daniel Radcliffes of the world, wouldn’t he find it in his heart to distance himself from the president everyone hates? But he doesn’t, presumably because he sees nothing wrong with it, because his worldview lines up with that of our racist president.

Kraft insists he doesn’t agree with Trump’s rhetoric on Kaepernick, but it’s not as if he’s cast the man aside. Belichick won’t even deign to answer a question on that matter, because he is a robotic psychopath who only thinks and talks about football.

Look, it doesn’t matter if the Patriots like it or not, they are the official team of American White Nationalism, the MAGA Boys On the Field. You can’t implicitly or explicitly support Trump, who reads speeches written by Stephen Miller as a matter of course, play in a market whose sporting culture is renowned for its racism, have a decade-plus organizational obsession with undersized white receivers, and be called, no shit, the Patriots, without getting the vile Fox News Soup that poisoned half the country on your shirt. Try to put on a bib of distancing yourself, deflecting questions, telling everyone your wife told you to stop talking about it, that shit isn’t gonna work. You’re the MAGA Kid. It’s on you forever. It stalks and haunts you.

When you root for the Patriots, you are associating yourself with a virulent and revolting strain of politics that seeks to Make America Great Again—which is to say, white, European, English-speaking. And look, I understand if you’ve been rooting for Boston teams your whole life. Fandom is a hard drug to quit. But please, look at yourself, look at who these guys put out for, and reconsider. Think about if you would want to find yourself in a crowd of sweaty, white men chanting WE’RE STILL HERE while a Trump supporter egged you on. Are you one-hundred percent sure you’re comfortable with that?

Jews will not replace us? Bueller? Bueller?

It is hard to live in Stars Hollow sometimes. Die hard Patsies no matter how ill treated they are or what it says about them they ignore the cheating and racism.

Not that the Patsies are alone in their guilt, it is in fact Throwball as a whole and the Scams are as complicit as everyone else.

Yet you are mesmerized by the train wreck. Even my Therapist is a Packers fan.

189 comments

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  1. Things duller than Throwball- Golf.

  2. Another half hour?

  3. The YouTube Kickoff Show

  4. ‘Murika the Bootyfull

  5. No Pips

  6. Over now

  7. Trying to Black it up so we forget Kaepernick

  8. First Big Ad! Avengers Trailer.

  9. Patsies from their 39

  10. INT on the first throw by Brady. Scams from their 27.

  11. Punt. Patsies 12.

  12. M&Ms was disturbing

  13. bumble?

  14. Patriots ball on own 13
    2nd and 9

  15. Patriots ball on own 13
    3rd and 9
    Last Play: Tom Brady incomplete pass to the left intended for Sony Michel.

  16. Patriots ball on own 24
    1st and 10
    Last Play: Tom Brady pass to the left to Julian Edelman for 11 yards to the NE24. Tackled by Aqib Talib.

  17. My hope is the rams get way ahead. Blow out would be nice.

  18. Patriots ball on own 20
    2nd and 14
    Last Play: Sony Michel rush to the left for a loss of 4 yards to the NE20. Tackled by Dante Fowler Jr..

  19. Patriots ball on own 31
    1st and 10

    Last Play: Tom Brady pass to the right to Rex Burkhead for a loss of 4 yards to the NE16. Penalty: Personal Foul on Los Angeles 15 yards.

  20. Patriots ball on own 36
    2nd and 5

    Last Play: Rex Burkhead rush to the left for 5 yards to the NE36.

  21. Patriots ball on own 48
    1st and 10

    Last Play: Tom Brady pass to the left to Rex Burkhead for 8 yards to the NE48.

  22. Patriots ball on Los Angeles 33
    1st and 10

    Last Play: Tom Brady pass to the left to Rob Gronkowski for 19 yards to the LAR33. Tackled by Marcus Peters.

  23. Patriots ball on Los Angeles 31
    2nd and 8

    Last Play: Rex Burkhead rush up the middle for 2 yards to the LAR31. Tackled by Michael Brockers.

  24. Patriots ball on Los Angeles 31
    3rd and 8

    Last Play: Tom Brady incomplete pass to the left intended for Chris Hogan.

  25. Killer Skin?

  26. WeatherTech Pet Comfort

  27. FG No good

  28. Jinx!

  29. 4th down Patriots kick FG and It’s NO GOOD. YES!!!!!

  30. Captain Marvel

  31. Rams ball on own 36
    1st and 10

    Last Play: 46 yard field goal attempt by Stephen Gostkowski is NO GOOD.

  32. Oooh Bud Lite goes tough on Coors Lite

  33. Rams ball on own 41
    2nd and 5

    Last Play: Robert Woods rush to the right for 5 yards to the LAR41.

  34. Talk about a boy named Sue. Gurley?

  35. Rams ball on New England 10
    1st and 10

    Last Play: Jared Goff pass to the left to Josh Reynolds for 49 yards to the NE10. Tackled by Jonathan Jones.

  36. Rams ball on New England 10
    2nd and 10
    Last Play: Jared Goff incomplete pass to the left intended for Robert Woods.

  37. Rams ball on New England 42
    3rd and 3
    Last Play: Jared Goff pass to the left to Robert Woods for 7 yards to the NE42. Tackled by Jonathan Jones.

  38. Rams ball on New England 42
    4th and 3
    Last Play: Jared Goff incomplete pass to the right intended for Robert Woods defensed by Patrick Chung.

  39. Patriots ball on own 19
    1st and 10
    Last Play: Johnny Hekker punts for 28 yards to NE19. No return.

  40. This is a real movie? Fast and the Furious Hobbs and Shaw

  41. Patriots ball on own 23
    2nd and 6
    Last Play: Sony Michel rush to the right for 4 yards to the NE23. Tackled by Lamarcus Joyner and Mark Barron.

  42. Patriots ball on own 30
    2nd and 10
    Last Play: Tom Brady incomplete pass to the left intended for Chris Hogan.

  43. Patriots ball on Los Angeles 45
    1st and 10
    Last Play: Tom Brady pass to the right to Julian Edelman for 25 yards to the LAR45. Tackled by Aqib Talib.

  44. Patriots ball on own 45
    2nd and 20
    Last Play: Tom Brady sacked at NE45 for a loss of 10 yards. FUMBLE, recovered by NE (David Andrews)

  45. Patriots ball on Los Angeles 40
    3rd and 5
    Last Play: Tom Brady pass to the right to Rob Gronkowski for 14 yards to the LAR40. Tackled by Mark Barron.

  46. Rams ball on own 6
    1st and 10
    Last Play: Ryan Allen punts for 34 yards to LAR6. No return.

  47. Rams ball on own 12
    2nd and 4
    Last Play: C.J. Anderson rush to the right for 6 yards to the LAR12.

    Last play of the 1st quarter

  48. Glitter Pepsi

  49. I would pay money to see a field goal kicker take out the camera mounted between the uprights.

  50. Rams ball on own 6
    2nd and 10
    Last Play: Penalty: False Start on Los Angeles (Rob Havenstein) -5 yards.

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