Oct 18 2019

“What A Dump!”

Despite my parochiality I’ve been in some pretty impressive public spaces including a few fairly high rent hotels (I hate Atrium lobbies the most) including the Ritz-Charlton in Naples which I’ll admit deserves it’s reputation and The Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island (ok, it’s charming if you like a slice of Victoriana and they wait on you hand and foot, don’t mind the horse poop).

When left to my own devices I’m a fairly big fan of “What is cheapest?” though you can find many many interesting places that aren’t too costly. This summer I stayed at a place that had both a Hot Tub and a Water Slide. I ask you, what else do you need?

Next to Atriums the most disappointing things to discover are rooms that are obviously… not well maintained. I’m not talking puddle of blood but if the carpet is sticky…

Well, ick.

So now Doral, Unindicted Co-conspirator Bottomless Pinocchio’s failing resort, is back in the news along with plenty of pictures and a repair bill. In his own words- “What A Dump!”

It looks dingy and run down. It has 10 pools none of which have been inspected in over 12 months and then there are the notorious bedbugs. There are problems with the food service too, of course if you get your meals from McDonald’s (which actually gets visited by the Health Department once in a while) or incinerate your steaks to shoe leather that may not matter to you so much.

Did I say ick?

So Unindicted Co-conspirator Bottomless Pinocchio will tap the Treasury for repairs (highly illegal but in the grand scheme it falls in the rounds) and slap a fresh coat of paint on his White Elephant and we’ll all pretend everything is normal.