The Flavor Aid Moment

Readers, I invite you consider the Power of Flesh.

Shall I tell you? It’s the least I can do. Steel isn’t strong, boy, flesh is stronger! Look around you. There, on the rocks, a beautiful girl. Come to me, my child…

As my Doctor friend tells me you can easily survive a fall of almost any height because soon enough you reach Terminal Velocity and don’t fall any faster than that.

Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

As the Narrator says, after a sudden wet thump there was silence. Oh no, not again.

That is strength, boy! That is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! Such a waste.

Wait! She might be OK. (Boom). Well, probably not now.

He had other powers like being able to turn into a snake and who can resist James Earl Jones when he detects a disturbing lack of faith but I think we can pretty much understand why Thulsa Doom is an antagonist.

Now the Modern Religious parallel is Martyrdom and I want to do 2 things, the first of which is the obvious Parable (it means Instructive Story, get over it) of Jonestown. Kool Aid gets a bad rap but I must admit the commercials are truly annoying.

I’m not going to do your required reading for you. Instead I want to talk about the Thought Process that makes Martyrdom seem desirable (not that I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for the greater good mind you, just I would have been working for a while to make that not necessary).

Of course they have a sense of the Righteousness of their Cause and a feeling their sacrifice is required for it’s success. The more pernicious aspect of it that they conceive of their lives as miserable tests of worthiness compared to which only Hell Fire and Eternal Damnation is inferior.

In the Therapy biz we call that ‘Suicidal Ideation’. It’s a Red Flag and normally you get at least 2 days of observation and 2 or 3 a day with the Shrink. Frequently they’ll lock you up for a month and medicate you because…

You’re sick. Really.

But I want to be very, very clear that what they sell is Pie in the Sky of Big Rock Candy Mountain after you Die.

Provided you kiss enough ass in the approved manner.

Drinking or Injecting Clorox, Lysol, or Isopropyl Alcohol (not at all the same as Drinkin’ Whisky) will probably result in your IMMEDIATE DEATH!!!

Now if you hate your life and want to Die so you can ‘Own the Libs’ be my guest. I have one word for you and you won’t accept it- Darwin. Stupid is always a Capital Crime.

I’m not kidding you about the lethality, even in small amounts. There’s a reason they put that Skull and Crossbones on the side of the Bottle and it’s not because they’re full of Jack Sparrow Brand Rum.

On the other hand if you think it’s ripping good fun to install a Supreme Court Justice who will shove a Quart of Vodka up his Ass so he can get even Drunker (yes friends, that’s what “Boofing” is) then maybe the finer points of why you shouldn’t drink Battery Acid or Anti-Freeze are lost on you.

I’ll not dignify the UV nonsense. The easiest way is a razor. You’ll want a warm bath because you’ll get cold and some pain killers for the headache.

Trump Suggests Injecting Disinfectant, Shining UV Light Inside Patients to Kill Coronavirus in Bizarre, Rambling Tangent
By Reed Richards, Mediate
Apr 23rd, 2020

President Donald Trump offered up bizarre and possibly dangerous suggestions about medical research on the coronavirus at his daily White House briefing, suggesting that blasting patients with “tremendous” amounts of UV light, even “inside of the body” as well as injecting them with the same disinfectants that are used to kill the viruses on surfaces might be effective treatments for Covid-19.

Trump was riffing off of some still developing research presented by Bill Bryan, an official from the Science and Technology branch of the Department of Homeland Security, who had just detailed the half-life of the coronavirus under various heat, humidity, and light conditions. Bryan noted that the virus seemed to decay quicker under the ultraviolet light from the sun.

As Bryan finished answering a reporter’s question, however, Trump stepped back up to the podium and began to discuss his own take on the data, which quickly devolved into highly unscientific and potentially harmful advice.

“So, a question some of you are probably thinking of if your are totally into that world, which I find to be very interesting,” Trump said, before posturing as a medical expert.

“So, supposing we hit the body with tremendous, I don’t know if it’s ultraviolet or very powerful light, and I think you said that has been checked but your’e going to test it,” Trump said, turning to Bryan in a sidebar moment at the end for confirmation. “Then I said what it if you brought the light inside of the body which you could do either through the skin or some other way and I think you said you were going to test that, too, sounds interesting,” he added next, again turning to Bryan for validation.

But then Trump even went further, connecting the household bleaching agents in most surface disinfectants to a possible internal treatment for humans, which would be toxic and possibly fatal. “Then I see the disinfectant, one minute. Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it’d be interesting to check that so that you’ll have to use medical doctors with. But it sounds interesting to me. So we’ll see, but the whole concept of the light, where it goes in one minute. That’s pretty powerful.”

Minutes later, ABC News’ Jon Karl revisited Trump’s totally unfounded claims in a question to Bryan, asking if there was any scenario in which a human could be injected with bleach or isopropyl alcohol to treat the virus.

Bryan’s answer, diplomatically delivered with Trump standing just behind his left shoulder, effectively dismissed the idea. “We don’t do that in our labs,” he added.

Trump, however, not letting it go, tried to salvage his medical reputation, which includes no formal schooling at all, and jumped in to elaborate on his earlier comments.

“Not cleaning through injection,” Trump said, waving his hand as if to demonstrate his imagined procedure. “Almost a cleaning, sterilization of an area. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t work. But it certainly has a big effect if it’s on a stationary object.”

Maybe it works. Maybe it doesn’t work.

Who wants to live forever? Well, me.