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Mar 05 2021

Late Night Today

Late Night Today is for our readers who can’t stay awake to watch the shows. Everyone deserves a good laugh.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The Queen’s Got Jokes For Meghan Markle

When the Queen of England breaks out the Book of Slams, you know it’s serious.

The Pentagon’s Failure To Protect Congress Is Coming Into Chilling Focus

As the Senate hears testimony about the deadly insurrection on January 6th, the question of why the Joint Chiefs of Staff waited more than 3 hours before sending help looms large over the proceedings

Quarantinewhile… Evie And Stephen Wax Nostalgic Over Chicago’s Lost Tradition Of “Dibs”

Quarantinewhile… If you’ve ever lived through a Chicago winter, like Evie and Stephen Colbert have many times, you may be familiar with the now-banned tradition of leaving “dibs” items in your shoveled-out parking spot.

Stephen Checks In With The Hosts Of “Virtue Signal” from “Tooning Out The News”

We’re thrilled to welcome the hosts of “Virtue Signal,” Kylie Weaver, Peter Womack, Brian Min, Lila Moreno for a sneak peek at the stories they’ll be covering this season over at “Tooning Out The News.”

he Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Scandal! Biden’s “Neanderthal” Comment & Harsh Words for Seuss | The Daily Social Distancing Show

From accusing Republicans of “Neanderthal thinking” to wearing a mask to owning an ugly dog, Joe Biden already has more scandals in six weeks than any other president in recent memory.

Ron Johnson Forces Senate to Read the Stimulus Bill Out Loud | The Daily Social Distancing Show

Senator Ron Johnson delays the COVID relief bill vote in the most annoying way possible.

Late Night with Seth Meyers

Gov. Cuomo Embarrassed by Sexual Harassment Allegations

Democrats Aim to Pass COVID-19 Relief, but Limit Eligibility for Payments: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at Senate Democrats clearing a procedural hurdle to pass their COVID-19 relief bill after moderate Senators demand limits to the bill’s eligibilities.

Seth Addresses His Mispronunciations of Babar the Elephant, “Surreptitiously” and More

Seth Meyers apologizes for mispronouncing “cliff hanger” in German, “Babar the Elephant” and “surreptitiously.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Trump Still Not President in Crushing Defeat for the Tin Foil Hat Crowd

March 4th was the day that Trump was supposed to return to the presidency (it didn’t happen), the House cancelled their session today out of an abundance of caution, crazy conspiracies continue to come out, the QAnon Shaman sat down for an interview with CBS and apparently we have it all wrong, Trump is said to be planning his political future, Joe Biden referred to the dangerous and dumb decision by Texas and Mississippi to lift their mask mandates as Neanderthal thinking, more vaccines are on the way, Yehya gives his review for Eddie Murphy’s Coming 2 America, and This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.

The Late Late Show with James Corden

James Corden Gets the ULTIMATE Dare

James Corden challenged his staff to come up with crazy, kooky and mondo bonkers dares for him to do in the studio. After the best ideas are put on a wheel, James starts to question members of his staff for some of their suggestions, ranging from the wildly boring to flat out wild.

Can Sen. Johnson Stop Being Such a Ron Johnson?

After a quick check-in on the chilly weather in Los Angeles, James Corden jumps into the headlines including a slow start for President Joe Biden’s cabinet, and Senator Ron Jonhson calling for a full, out-loud read of the 600-page COVID-19 relief bill, further delaying stimulus checks for Americans. And James wonders if Regé-Jean Page is too handsome to be the next James Bond.