Prime Time

Some premiers.  On an existential note, what is it like to drop out of your timeline entirely and find that your exisitence had no impact whatever on history?

I think I’d dump Bill too.

A good fight should be like a small play, but played seriously. A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, I do not hit. It hits all by itself.

Keyboard. How quaint.

Later-

I’m going to sleep this off. Please let me know if there’s some other way we can screw up tonight.

No, no, no, I never said that… Yes, that’s right, they can’t be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can… This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted… That doesn’t work either, because what happens then is, the person you’re involved with can’t understand why you need to be friends with the person you’re just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it’s not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you’re involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you’re just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let’s face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can’t be friends.

Dave hosts Kelsey Grammer (ugh), Amar’e Stoudemire, and Gregg Allman.  Jon has Ron Howard, Stephen Kevin Spacey.  Conan hosts Ricky Gervais, Kaitlin Olson, and Cheap Trick.

You know what I am? I’m your worst fuckin’ nightmare, man. I’m a nigger with a badge which means I got permission to kick your fuckin’ ass whenever I feel like it!

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

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  2. I love you Alice B. Toklas is a gem of a film.  Peter Sellers was at his best, but unfortunately neither the writers nor the director were anywhere as talented as he was.

    I plan to write a piece devoted to Sellers, perhaps one of the best actors of our time.

    Warmest regards,

    Doc

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