Formula One 2016: Austin

I have mixed feelings about Formula One. First of all it’s horrible, fixed, rigged and boring to watch. Second of all it’s it’s the best game out there, at least compared to other motor sports which really aren’t sports at all relying as they do upon… motors. Where’s the sport in that?

I suppose I could change allegiance to Premier League Football except nothing ever happens (Ooh look at that! Manchester City just defeated Manchester United 1 – Nil on a Penalty Kick! And it happened only 5 minutes into overage time!). Where is my Curling and Badminton Channel?

Yeah, I need to get out more but the day star, it burns.

I suppose you’re looking for something insightful and deep which I frequently bury in my most frivolous pieces, but not this one as I’m sick, Sick, SICK! with this stupid chest cold that makes everyone I meet think I am either Darth Vader or an Arby’s commercial (you didn’t see that coming?).

For those thrown into a frenzy of concern about my health I assure you I’m way iller than this almost every day and I know plenty of people right now who have been hit much harder by this same bug. I should really get out less and become more isolated than I am (hah, that’s a joke. I couldn’t possibly be more insular).

So in Texas, a state I advocate is a mistake we should return to Mexico, we will watch cars being driven in a circle among a declining and bored US audience that are wondering why all the turns are not Left and what happened to the flaming chunks of twisted metal.

Viewership of the NFL is down also, do you think this has anything to do with our increasing dissatisfaction with the Neoliberal Status Quo?

Of course not.

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  1. Vent Hole

  2. Super Softs, Softs, and Medium. 56 Laps

  3. We race

  4. Hamilton has a good start, Williams puncture, Mercedes split. Hulkenberg and Bottas pit

  5. DRS Enabled

  6. Hulkenberg done

  7. Start Replay

  8. Lap 5 of 56

    Hamilton
    Ricciardo
    Rosberg
    Raikkonen
    Verstappen
    Vettel
    Massa
    Sainz
    Alonso
    Button

  9. Ricciardo, Raikkonen, Vettel. Massa, and Sainz already in trouble as they started on used Super Softs and will have to hang on under Full Fuel/Maximum Weight until the 1st round of pits.

  10. Ricciardo and Raikkonen pit

  11. Verstappen pits

  12. Rosberg pits for Mediums

  13. Hamilton. Massa, Sainz, Alonso pit

  14. Lap 11 of 56
    Vettel
    Hamilton
    Ricciardo
    Rosberg
    Raikkonen
    Verstappen
    Massa
    Kvyat
    Gutierrez
    Sainz
    Ericsson

  15. Alonso also running Mediums

  16. Gutierrez, Magnussen, Wehrlein pit

  17. Vettel pits

  18. Kvyat 10 seconds for contact

  19. Lap 15 of 56

    Hamilton
    Ricciardo
    Rosberg
    Verstappen
    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Massa
    Sainz
    Kvyat
    Alonso

  20. Gutierrez stops

  21. Left Front Brake

  22. Lap 20 of 56

    Hamilton
    Ricciard
    Rosberg
    Verstappen
    Raikonnen
    Vettel
    Massa
    Sainz
    Alonso
    Button

  23. Raikkonen pits for Super Softs

  24. Ricciardo pits for Mediums

  25. Lap 25 of 56

    Hamilton
    Rosberg
    Verstappen
    Vettel
    Ricciardo
    Raikkonen
    Massa
    SaInz
    Alonso
    Button

  26. Verstappen pits. Bad Stop.

  27. Perez and Grosjean pit

  28. Magnussen pits

  29. Button pits

  30. Vettel pits again

  31. Massa pits

  32. Nasr pits

  33. Verstappen done. Engine failure.

  34. Alonso and Sainz pit

  35. Virtual Safety Car. Hamilton and Rosberg in for tires

  36. Wehrlein pits

  37. Lap 32 of 56

    Hamilton
    Rsberg
    Ricciardo
    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Sainz
    Massa
    Alonso
    Perez
    Button

  38. Lap 36 of 56

    Hamilton
    Rosberg
    Ricciardo
    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Sainz
    Massa
    Alonso
    Perez
    Button

  39. Raikkonen stops. Bad pit, wheel nut off.

  40. Lap 40 of 56

    Hamilton
    Rosberg
    Ricciardo
    Vettel
    Sainz
    Massa
    Alonso
    Perez
    Button
    Grosjean

  41. Magnussen pits.

  42. Lap 45 of 56

    Hamilton
    Rosberg
    Ricciardo
    Vettel
    Sainz
    Massa
    Alonso
    Perez
    Button
    Grosjean

  43. Lap 50 of 56

    Hamilton
    Rosberg
    Ricciardo
    Vettel
    Saihz
    Massa
    Alonso
    Perez
    Button
    Grosjean

  44. Perez back are 1 Lap dpwn

  45. Add Massa

  46. Final

    Hamilton
    Rosberg
    Ricciardo
    Vettel
    Alonso
    Sainz
    Massa
    Perez
    Button
    Grosjean

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