Holiday TV Saturday

Well, it’s that holiday time of year again when all you want is some mindless entertainment to spare you from dealing with your relatives and TV programmers screw with you by replacing all your familiar favorites with sappy specials and marathons of your least liked shows made more inpenetrable by the one line crawl of uselessness that TV Guide channel has become.

Thank goodness kindly uncle ek is here to highlight a few moments of blessed distraction as well as some of the potential pitfalls to be avoided.

I look on it as a public service.

My job is made a little easier because of a neat little network ‘day at a glance’ feature of Zap2it TV Listings.  Click on the channel name.  I’m going from my last diary to Paid Programming.  I’m putting the main meat below the fold because the table is too long for the Front Page.  It’s arranged by time and marathons (4 half hour episodes, 3 hour episodes, double features, themes, and Instapeats) may be noted earlier than you expect, but they do also include the running time so you know when they end.

Nothing like watching A Christmas Story 25 times in a row.

I’m rolling publishing again because it’s much easier.  Right now this covers until 10 am and I’m missing 10 channels.  Expect an update.

Update: Now good to 7 am with all 41 channels and you didn’t miss anything.  Tomorrow is the last edition of extended Thanksgiving coverage.

7 am

• ABC Family– Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Speed– Gearz marathon until 2 pm
• Style– Supernanny marathon until 11 am (starts @ 6 am)

7:30 am

• TBS– Road to El Dorado

8 am

• FX– Black Knight
• History– Ice Road Truckers marathon until 7 pm
• Turner Classic– Limelight (Chaplin)

9 am

• Disney– Phineas and Ferb until 10:30 am
• Spike– Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace (triple feature, Anakin goes dark side)

9:30 am

• AMC– The Ballad of Josie (not Wales)
• TBS– First Kid

10 am

• ABC Family– Holly and Hal Moose: Our Uplifting Christmas Adventure
• FX– Are We There Yet?
• Sci Fi– Infestation
• USA– Hairspray (not the good 1988 version)

10:30 am

• Turner Classic– Paris Playboys

11 am

• ABC Family– Ice Age
• Lifetime– The Family Holiday
• Oxygen– America’s Next Top Model marathon until 10 pm
• Style– Doc Hollywood
• Toon– Pokémon: Arceus and the Jewel of Life

11:30 am

• A&E– Cocktail
• TBS– Two Weeks Notice
• VH1– Back to the Future Part II

Noon

• ABC– College Throwball, Michigan @ Ohio State (‘the’ game)
• AMC– The Culpepper Cattle Company
• Comedy– Barbershop 2: Back in Business
• Discovery– Deadliest Catch marathon until 3 am
• ESPN– College Throwball, Boston College @ Syracuse
• ESPN2– College Throwball, Michigan State @ Penn State
• FX– Alvin and the Chipmunks
• Nick– Victorious marathon until 3 pm
• Sci Fi– Swarmed
• Spike– Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones
• Vs.– UFL Throwball Championship, Tuskers v. Locomotives

12:30 pm

• USA– Over Her Dead Body

1 pm

• ABC Family– A Boy Named Charlie Brown
• Lifetime– Eve’s Christmas
• Style– Sweet November
• Turner Classic– Cry, the Beloved Country
• TNT– A Perfect Murder
• Toon– Open Season

1:30 pm

• A&E– Heat
• TBS– Bewitched
• TV Land– My Cousin Vinny

2 pm

• NBC– College Throwball, Grambling State v. Southern
• FX– 13 Going on 30
• National Geographic– Great Migrations marathon until 7 pm
• Sci Fi– Anacondas: Trail of Blood
• Speed– Dangerous Drives marathon until 5 am
• VH1– SNL marathon until 11 pm

2:30 pm

• AMC– Wild Wild West
• Comedy– School for Scoundrels
• Toon– Shrek
• USA– Juno

3 pm

• ABC Family– Snoopy Come Home
• Disney– Phineas and Ferb (half hour)
• Lifetime– Accidental Christmas
• Turner Classic– The Golden Voyage of Sinbad
• TNT– Out of Time

3:30 pm

• ABC– College Throwball, teams TBA
• CBS– College Throwball, LSU @ Arkansas
• Disney– Cars
• ESPN– College Throwball, Florida @ Florida State or Northwestern @ Wisconsin
• ESPN2– College Throwball, North Carolina State @ Maryland
• Spike– Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
• Style– Pretty in Pink

4 pm

• FX– Anger Management
• Nick– Spongebob marathon until 6 pm
• Sci Fi– Anaconda 3: Offspring
• Vs.– College Throwball, Texas Christian @ New Mexico

4:30 pm

• Comedy– National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
• Toon– Firebreather

5 pm

• ABC Family– Home Alone 4
• AMC– A Few Good Men
• Lifetime– Home by Christmas
• Turner Classic– The Great Race
• USA– Along Came Polly

5:30 pm

• A&E– The Fugitive
• Style– Chicago
• TNT– Michael Clayton

6 pm

• Bravo– House marathon until 2 am
• Sci Fi– Jurassic Park
• Toon– Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

7 pm

• ABC Family– Home Alone 3
• ESPN2– College Throwball, South Carolina @ Clemson
• Lifetime– Thomas Kinkade’s Christmas Cottage
• Spike– Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace
• USA– The Pacifier

7:30 pm

• ESPN– College Throwball, Georgia Tech @ Georgia
• Vs.– College Throwball, Oregon State @ Stanford

8 pm

• ABC– College Throwball, teams TBA
• PBS– Austin City Limits, R.E.M.
• A&E– Remember the Titans
• AMC– Something’s Gotta Give
• E!– Bruce Almighty
• MTV– 8 Mile
• TBS– The Wizard of Oz
• Turner Classic– A Star Is Born (Judy, Judy, Judy)
• TNT– Ocean’s Eleven (not the good 1960 version)
• Toon– Underdog
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon until 11 pm (thank goodness)

9 pm

• ABC Family– Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
• Lifetime– Undercover Christmas
• Sci Fi– Triassic Attack
• USA– Elf

9:30 pm

• Disney– Phineas and Ferb until 10:30 pm

10 pm

• Animal Planet– Pit Boss (premier)
• Food– Ace of Cakes (premier)
• Nick– George Lopez marathon until 6 am
• Oxygen– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
• Spike– Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones
• TBS– The Princess Diaries

10:30 pm

• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Arizona v. Kansas
• TNT– John Grisham’s The Rainmaker

11 pm

• AMC– [Something’s Gotta Give Something’s Gotta Give]
• FX– The League marathon until 1 am
• Lifetime– Accidental Christmas
• Sci Fi– Bone Eater
• Turner Classic– Funny Girl
• USA– Semi-Pro

Midnight 11/28

• A&E– Remember the Titans
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon until 2 am (thank goodness)

12:30 am

• Oxygen– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

1 am

• ESPN2– College Throwball, South Carolina at Clemson
• Sci Fi– Triassic Attack
• TBS– Austin Powers in Goldmember

1:30 am

• Spike– National Security
• TNT– The Devil’s Advocate

2 am

• AMC– A Few Good Men
• FX– The League marathon until 4 am
• Turner Classic– Gypsy

3 am

• ESPN2– College Throwball, Louisville at Rutgers
• Sci Fi– Raptor Island
• TBS– Bewitched
• Toon– GitS: SAC 2nd Gig Excavation (Episode 6)
• TV Land– Three’s Company marathon until 6 am

3:30 am

• ESPN– College Throwball, Georgia Tech @ Georgia (repeat)
• Toon– GitS: SAC 2nd Gig Pu239 (Episode 7)

4:30 am

• Turner Classic– Love Me or Leave Me

6:30 am

• Turner Classic– Fiesta