Tag: Jon Stewart

Harry Reid bypasses the Senate’s filibustering Republican minority by launching the “nuclear option.”

   Stewart: Actually, Sen. McConnell, he did try to make a more substantive case against this filibuster amending.

   McConnell: I realize this sort of wishful thinking might appeal to the uninitiated newcomers in the Democratic conference who’ve served exactly zero days in the minority, but the rest of you guys in the conference should know better.

   Those of you who’ve been in the minority before should know better.

   Stewart: Mark my words! One day you Democrats will want to be obstructionist assholes making a mockery of our system of government. And who’ll be laughing then? Turtle Man.

Let me explain something, deep-dish pizza is not only not better than New York pizza. It’s not pizza. It’s a f***ing casserole!

Let me add this, if you can’t pick it up in one hand and have to eat it with a fork, it isn’t pizza.

Rahm Emanuel Sends Jon Stewart And ‘Daily Show’ ‘Deep Dish With Dead Fish’ After Pizza Fight

Apparently dead fish are Rahm Emanuel’s version of an olive branch. [..]

In a nod to one of his most infamous political shenanigans, Chicago’s mayor made sure the deep-dish pies were topped with dead fish (y’ know, anchovies). [..]

Yet as much as the feisty mayor wanted the last word, Stewart and company were having none of it. Their response to Emanuel’s “peace” offering? A Vine video showing a pooch turning his nose up at the delicious pie.

Health-challenged states like Texas and Mississippi refuse to take advantage of a federally subsidized Medicaid expansion.

If statehood was health care, moocher states like Mississippi and Missouri would be rejected as having a preexisting condition.

The Obama administration believes in freedom of the press — just not freedom of speech for people who might talk to the press.

The Obama administration’s legal priorities tilt towards unusually harsh punishments for individuals whose crimes don’t seem to merit them.  

What Gaius Publius said.

The Senate strikes down the Manchin-Toomey amendment, but protects a gun owner’s right to complete anonymity.

The Senate is unwilling to infringe upon Constitutional freedoms through the power of legislation, except when it wants to.  

Under the leadership of Jeff Zucker, CNN broadens the definition of news to include more goat holograms and murder dramas.

Rand Paul’s filibuster comes to an end in the traditional way that all filibusters must.

STEWART: Those other senators are recent additions to the Senate, so I don’t mind them jumping into Paul’s filibuster, but you don’t get to jump in on the concern the executive branch might be trampling the Constitution train. If I remember correctly during the Bush torture, suspended habeas corpus, see if you can get the Attorney General to sign off wireless wiretapping while he’s in a coma years, I believe your response to that was… yeah.