OK let me break it down, there were 3 official flags of the Confederate States of America. The first was the Stars and Bars that had a Blue Canton with one White Star for each State (varying from 7 to 13) in a circle, superimposed on a field of 3 horizontal Stripes- Red, White, and Red. That one was used from 1861 to 1863. The second was the Stainless Banner which had a Canton based on the Battle Flag of the Army of Northern Virginia superimposed on an all White field. That one was used until spring of 1865 when they added a broad Vertical Red Stripe opposite the Canton on the field because several officers complained that it looked too much like a White Flag of Surrender. The last one is called the Blood Stained Banner ironically.
So these jackasses are not only racists, they’re morons.
Seth MacFarlane will be talking about Ted 2 which you might like if you liked Ted. It strikes me as a total waste of time and money not just for the audience but also everyone involved including craft services.
Al Franken’s 2 part web exclusive extended interview and the real news below.
Al Franken is kind of a disappointment to me. I’ve met him personally exactly once at a reception to promote his candidacy and he’s funny as you might imagine and doesn’t give off the same sellout weasel vibe that radiates from Joe Lieberman like the heat from a baking, humid parking lot when you open an air conditioned door, the kind that smacks you in the face from 20 feet away.
On the other hand he’s bad on Intellectual Property, not so good on trade, fair to middling on most everything else, and pretty ok on Foreign Policy and Drone Assassination, Domestic Surveillance, and Torture.
So there are worse Senators, but there are better ones too. Feel the Bern.
Well, if you were disappointed or upset that the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize went to the Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons for that little thing about keeping the U.S. out of Syria which is still a good idea despite the brain damaged warhawks in D.C. you need not have worried because at 17 Malala Yousafzai continues to be the youngest recipient ever even though she had to wait an extra year. I kind of think we should have waited a year or so in 2009 in retrospect.
Anyway she’s back and her recent awards are a Grammy for Best Children’s Album and an asteroid that has been named after her.
Bill Clinton’s three (count ’em, 3!) part web exclusive extended interview and the real news below.
You know, in Euchre you declare trump with the first card you play. If you’re interested I’ll teach you how to keep score with just a deuce and a trey.
Oh baby. I was just flirting. You know there’s nothing that can approach your stringy, fatty beef sliced so thin you can read through it, your soft mushy bun to suck up the horrible barbecue sauce at your sticky condiment bar or that orange cheese food product you sell for a buck a slice. I pray every day you will invade more highway rest stops with your third rate fries and drive the evil (and he is evil, did you ever take a look at him?) flame broiled King from the land along with his maniacal clown side-kick. Not even fatty little sausages fondling around a pool of greasy ketchup can compare. Unlike Jon I appreciate your laxitive qualities on long trips where I’ll admit, I have a tendency to get a little bound up by strange food and water and hours and hours and hours of sitting. A sleepless night on a neat and sanitized (that’s what the paper strip says and who am I to judge?) throne is a small price to pay for your purgative charms.
Woof, woof. There are a lot of things to hate Bill Clinton for, but a blue dress ain’t one of them. I’m loathe to think this may be the last “get” interview Jon books, but it’s not a bad one. There will be web exclusive extended (probably 2 parts) for sure.
But you know Jon, if you can’t have Hil maybe you can give Bernie a spin. Only 10 points behind in the first real primary (New Hampshire, I’m thinking of doing a special remote) and moving up in South Carolina (I’m sorry, nothing can persuade me to spend a minute more in South Carolina than I need to visit Pedro).
Aziz Ansari’s web exclusive extended interview and the real news below.
It seems strange in a way because I have ten fingers (or I did before that tragic snowblower accident) and computers count in binary or quaternary or octal or hexidecimal which means 6+10 which is the number of fingers I used to have (I mean 10, to count to 16 I had to take off my shoes. Oh, frostbite. Why do you think I needed the snowblower?).
Dazed and confused
Tonightly Lewis Black! You know, I don’t even care who the rest of the panel is or what they’ll be talking about.
Continuity
Zebra
Wheat… lots of wheat… fields of wheat… a tremendous amount of wheat…
Ladies, if you’re not imagining a pimply Cheeto stained teenager blogging from Mom’s basement in their pajamas I’ve given you entirely the wrong impression and I deeply and sincerely apologize.
Why did I just send you an emoji of a pizza? It’s very simple, there is no emoji for Combos which I think is a billion dollar idea right up there with Facebook. No, really, think of it. I could just sit here in the basement designing branded emojis for multi-mega nationals in my pajamas (umm… I would be the one in pajamas, not the elephant) brushing the crumbs off my orange stained keyboard.
But to save time and effort I think I’ll let you do it and sic my DCMA copyright troll lawyers on you after you make some money.
Judd Apatow’s web exclusive extended interview and the real news below.
Judd Apatow is probably on to talk about Trainwreck unless, of course, he’s on to talk about children’s tv stars jerking off in porn theaters.
I’ll have to tell you about my friend the clown’s six months in stir and the best pickup line ever sometime (c’mon, he was totally innocent and the only relevance the line has is that it’s the best one ever and helps explain why he was innocent because if you have a line like that you pretty much don’t need anything else).
Oh, how it connects (I’m told I’m sometimes obscure). He had a really fine bicycle.
That’s my secret. I’m just this big cuddly green rage monster. Mark Ruffalo is such a vast improvement that it’s hard to remember Eric Bana.
Actually I’m more a DC Guy and specifically The Dark Night.
How does it feel to be the only member of The Justice League without superpowers?
Don’t. Need. Them.
Film has not been kind to DC though I look forward to treatments of Jack Kirby’s The New Gods and Darkseid. Arrow and Flash are kind of decent however and Felicity Smoak definitely has this Bailey Quarters hotness thing happening (I am not Spock), but I could work with her and be her friend.
In my last session with my therapist she asked me, in all sincerity, if I ever identified as ek hornbeck. I was put in mind of Batman Beyond, Shriek, where the villian tries to torment Wayne into suicide. At the end of the episode Terry McGuiness asks how Bruce was able to tell the voice inside his head wasn’t real.
“That’s not what I call myself.”
Seriously, I’m a ticking time bomb and it’s best to be someplace else ‘Tasha or you might remember Budapest quite differently.
Quinn disputed Seinfeld’s theory that this “creepy PC thing” is a new phenomenon, telling co-host Brian Kilmeade that “it’s been out there since the ’90s.” He added that the same thing happens at comedy clubs, when a comedian says a particular “buzzword” and the audience loudly inhales.
There have always been “a million different [buzzwords] depending on where you are,” he said.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck tried to compel Quinn to admit that the problem of political correctness is getting worse, but he wouldn’t take the bait. “Do you feel that you’re being more and more restricted in your art, your profession, and what you do, and your freedom?”
“No,” he replied. “The whole point of being a comedian is that you’re not supposed to – we don’t listen to the crowd. We need the crowd, but what’s more insulting than someone who panders to the crowd? That’s the worst thing you can be in comedy, somebody who comes out and says, ‘Hey! I want to make everybody happy!’ That’s not our job. Our job is to make people unhappy.”
Steve Doocy continued to press the Fox News narrative of PC ascension, asking Quinn “what has changed? It used to be people could take a joke, but now it’s like people have no sense of humor.”
“Look,” Quinn said, “people still have a sense of humor, but it depends on where you’re coming from. You can’t just [throw your hands in the air] and say, ‘it’s just jokes,’ because it’s not a free pass.”
“Were we better then or now?” Kilmeade finally asked.
“There’s no ‘better,'” Quinn replied. “Now, people are trying to regulate humanity, and there’s good and bad there. It’s not like things were great then, either.”
The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago and that was with a coffee machine.
Marvin is the clearest thinker I know.
Nicola Sturgeon’s 2 part web exclusive extended interview and the real news below.
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