Tag: Prime Time

Dec 14 2010

Prime Time

Some Premiers.

You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…

Later-

Dave hosts Ricky Gervais, Hailee Steinfeld, and Diddy-Dirty Money.  Jon has Gordon Brown, Stephen Patti Smith.  Conan hosts Gwyneth Paltrow, T.J. Miller, and Jimmy Eat World.

Boondocks– Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy

Let them call me rebel and welcome, I feel no concern from it; but I should suffer the misery of devils were I to make a whore of my soul by swearing allegiance to one whose character is that of a sottish, stupid, stubborn, worthless, brutish man. I conceive likewise a horrid idea in receiving mercy from a being, who at the last day shall be shrieking to the rocks and mountains to cover him, and fleeing with terror from the orphan, the widow, and the slain of America.

There are cases which cannot be overdone by language, and this is one. There are persons, too, who see not the full extent of the evil which threatens them; they solace themselves with hopes that the enemy, if he succeed, will be merciful. It is the madness of folly to expect mercy from those who have refused to do justice and even mercy, where conquest is the object, is only a trick of war.

It’s possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It’s conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again… perhaps I have the strength after all. DROP… YOUR… SWORD!

Dec 13 2010

Prime Time

Iggles @ ‘Boys (yes, yes I do hate the ‘Boys more.  Thank you for asking.).  Amazing Race (three teams left).  Simpsons and American Dad (premiers), Family Guy (hour long Holiday Special premier).  Nutcracker.

Otherwise just premiers.

Later-

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Dec 12 2010

Prime Time

Frosty the Snowman (Jimmy Durante), Frosty Returns (Jonathan Winters), The Flight Before Christmas.  It’s a Wonderful Life (the classic, don’t let Glenn Beck ruin it for you.  A very young and attractive Donna Reed.  A very evil corporatist bankster Lionel Barrymore.).  The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (inferior to Tolkien in every way).

Archaeology is the search for fact… not truth. If it’s truth you’re looking for, Dr. Tyree’s philosophy class is right down the hall.

Later-

SNL– Paul Rudd and Paul McCartney.

GitS SAC: 2nd Gig– Trial, Affection (Episodes 10 & 11)

A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don’t do one.

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Dec 11 2010

Prime Time

No Larry tonight, just Prison Porn.

A true enough story- my brewing buddy started throwing massive Halloween parties to show off his incredible sound system long before he started brewing.  At the very first one we set up a bunch of stations with vintage computer and game systems and a projection TV.  The concept was that he’d do some music video mixing and people would dance, but we made the mistake of showing the first 10 minutes of Raiders to ‘demonstrate the capabilities’ (it really was the best 10 minutes in movies until it was recently supplanted by Saving Private Ryan’s 27 minute opening).

Needless to say what we ended up doing was planting everyone on couches for the entire evening in drooling worship to the Hypnotoad.

In later years we not only ditched the TV, but also started limiting the seating.

It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.

Later-

Dave hosts Reese Witherspoon and Colin Quinn.  

Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you’re fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can’t win. It’s pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist?

Because I choose to.

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Dec 10 2010

Prime Time

Shrek the Halls and Disney Prep & Landing.  Barbara Walters.  Mostly premiers except for Great Performances’ Peter and the Wolf which is the only thing on broadcast I’d waste my eyeballs on.

If you haven’t stopped watching Lawrence O’Donnell you should stop watching him now.  Oh and I might mention the myth Obama wanted the Mythbusters to revisit was Archimedes’ Ship Burning Mirror Shields.

It failed.  Again.

Busted.

We gotta run. We’ve got a schedule to keep.

Yeah. See, we plan ahead, that way we don’t do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.

Later-

Dave hosts O’lielly and Phosphorescent.  Jon has James Franco, Stephen Julie Taymor.  Conan hosts Sarah Silverman, Michio Kaku, and She & Him.

Broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn’t ya you bastard!

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Dec 09 2010

Prime Time

Some premiers.  Great Performances’ Peter and the Wolf is not one of them.

Yes, this is Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, California. It’s about 5 0’clock in the morning. That’s the homicide squad, complete with detectives and newspaper men.  

The poor dope – he always wanted a pool. Well, in the end, he got himself a pool.

You’re Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big.

I *am* big. It’s the *pictures* that got small.

Later-

Now you listen to me, I’m an advertising man, not a red herring. I’ve got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don’t intend to disappoint them all by getting myself “slightly” killed.

Dave hosts Barbara Walters, Jayma Mays, and Alison Balsom (trumpeter).  Jon has Michelle Williams, Stephen Steve Martin (might be fun).  Conan hosts Ray Romano, Arianna Huffington, and The LXD.

Boondocks– The Red Ball (too funny, a must see)

Well, this is where you came in, back at that pool again, the one I always wanted. It’s dawn now and they must have photographed me a thousand times. Then they got a couple of pruning hooks from the garden and fished me out… ever so gently. Funny, how gentle people get with you once you’re dead.

And I promise you I’ll never desert you again because after ‘Salome’ we’ll make another picture and another picture. You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!… All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.

Dec 08 2010

Prime Time

A Charlie Brown Christmas (the classic).  Rachel in her proper place apparently.

You know, I think this Christmas thing is not as tricky as it seems! But why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone! Not anyone, in fact, but me! Why, I could make a Christmas tree! And there’s not a reason I can find, I couldn’t have a Christmastime! I bet I could improve it, too! And that’s exactly what I’ll do!

Later-

Dave hosts Johnny Depp and Ra Ra Riot.  Jon has Seth Green, Stephen Julie Nixon and David Eisenhower.  Conan hosts Rainn Wilson, Roberta Mancino, and Christina Perri.

Boondocks– It’s Goin’ Down

  1. What is your favorite word?
  2. What is your least favorite word?
  3. What turns you on?
  4. What turns you off?
  5. What sound or noise do you love?
  6. What sound or noise do you hate?
  7. What is your favorite curse word?
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
  9. What profession would you not like to do?
  10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

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Dec 07 2010

Prime Time

Broadcast- ugh.  According to Zap2it, The Ed Show where Rachel ought to be.

So I’m an old garbage bag put in the street, huh?… These are the worst years, I tell you. It’s going to happen to you. I’m afraid to look in a mirror. I’m afraid I’m gonna see an old lady with white hair, just like the old ladies in the park with little bundles and black shawls waiting for the coffin. I’m fifty-six years old. And what am I gonna do with myself? I’ve got strength in my hands. I want to clean. I want to cook. I want to make dinner for my children. Am I an old dog to lay near the fire till my eyes close? These are terrible years, Theresa, terrible years… It’s gonna happen to you. It’s gonna happen to you! What are you gonna do if Marty gets married? Huh? What are you gonna cook? Where’s all the children playing in all the rooms? Where’s the noise? It’s a curse to be a widow, a curse! What are you gonna do if Marty gets married? What are you gonna do?

Later-

New Dave finally.  He hosts Ray Romano and John Mellencamp.  Jon has Hugh Shelton, Stephen Garry Trudeau.  Alton does roasts, Crown and otherwise.  Conan hosts Nicole Kidman, Charlie Day, and Lauren Pritchard.

Boondocks– It’s a Black President, Huey Freeman (pivotal, a must see)

Suppose I tell you exactly what’s gonna happen to you. You’re gonna be back in television. Only it won’t be quite the same as it was before. There’ll be a reasonable cooling-off period and then somebody will say: “Why don’t we try him again in a inexpensive format. People’s memories aren’t too long.” And you know, in a way, he’ll be right. Some of the people will forget, and some of them won’t. Oh, you’ll have a show. Maybe not the best hour or, you know, top 10. Maybe not even in the top 35. But you’ll have a show. It just won’t be quite the same as it was before. Then a couple of new fellas will come along. And pretty soon, a lot of your fans will be flocking around them. And then one day, somebody’ll ask: “Whatever happened to, a, whatshisname? You know, the one who was so big. The number-one fella a couple of years ago. He was famous. How can we forget a name like that? Oh by the way, have you seen, a, Barry Mills? I think he’s the greatest thing since Will Rogers.”

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Dec 06 2010

Prime Time

Zap2it hates me again, large chunks of their schedule are blank so the research is harder than normal.  For instance The Amazing Race is missing, which I note out of deference to my canine rescuing friend who loves to travel and thinks it’s the best show ever.  I pretty sure it’s a premier.

The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, and American Dad all have Holiday specials.  The Cleveland Show one is an hour long.  There is also Throwball, Steelers @ Ravens.  Non-broadcast-

Take what you can.  Give nothing back.

Season Finale of Boardwalk Empire.

Later-

In addition to Tim & Eric’s Crimbus Special (don’t much care for them actually, stupid comedy), Adult Swim is also premiering Christmas in December II (no idea what that is about).

Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me.

Yes, I lied to you.

No, I don’t love you.

Of course it makes you look fat.

I’ve never been to Brussels.

It is pronounced egregious.

By the way, no. I’ve never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies.

And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

Dec 05 2010

Prime Time

College Throwball, Big 12 Championship: Nebraska v. Oklahoma.

Prepare every vessel that floats.  At dawn we are at war

Later-

SNL– Host Robert De Niro, Diddy-Dirty Money.

GitS SAC: 2nd Gig– Fake Food, Ambivalence (Episodes 8 & 9).

What? You’ve seen it all, done it all. Survived. That’s the trick isn’t it? To survive?

It’s not just about living forever, Jackie. The trick is still living with yourself forever.

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