Tag: Prime Time

Dec 24 2010

Prime Time

Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (TV), Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Film).  We can only hope this is the Last Word from Lawrence O’Donnell in 2010.

When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I’m gonna read it to you.

Has it got any sports in it?

Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…

Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.

Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

Later-

Dave hosts Amanda Peet, Jay Thomas, and Darlene Love.  Jon and Stephen in repeats, 12/13 & 12/14.  Pre-empted next week.  Conan hosts Jason Segel and Reggie Watts.

This ain’t pool. This is for bangers. Straight pool is pool. This is like hand-ball, or cribbage, or something. Straight pool, you gotta be a real surgeon to get ’em, you know? It’s all finesse. Now, everything is nine-ball, ’cause it’s fast, good for T.V., good for a lot of break shots… Oh, well. What the hell. Checkers sells more than chess.

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Dec 23 2010

Prime Time

Inspirational adoptions.  Country Music.  Ugh.

A good night to write.

Later-

Dave hosts Denis Leary and Grace Potter & the Nocturnals.  Jon and Stephen in repeats, 12/7 & 12/13.  Conan hosts Jack Black, Erika Nelson, and Jimmie Vaughan.

Boondocks– The Lovely Ebony Brown

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Dec 22 2010

Prime Time

SNL Special, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin and Justin Timberlake (repeat).

The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.

Later-

Dave hosts Jamie Foxx and Sofia Vergara.  Jon and Stephen in repeats, 12/8 and 12/9.  Conan hosts Kevin Spacey, Kristen Schaal, and Los Lobos.

Boondocks– The Fund Raiser.

How many drinks have you had?

This will make six Martinis.

All right. Will you bring me five more Martinis, Leo? Line them right up here.

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Dec 21 2010

Prime Time

“Corona veniat electis.” Victory shall come to the worthy. Today, democracy, liberty, and equality are words to fool the people. No nation can progress with such ideas. They stand in the way of action. Therefore, we frankly abolish them. In the future, each man will serve the interest of the State with absolute obedience. Let him who refuses beware! The rights of citizenship will be taken away from all Jews and other non-Aryans. They are inferior and therefore enemies of the state. It is the duty of all true Aryans to hate and despise them. Henceforth this nation is annexed to the Tomanian Empire, and the people of this nation will obey the laws bestowed upon us by our great leader, the Dictator of Tomania, the conqueror of Osterlich, the future Emperor of the World!

You speak.

I can’t.

You must. It’s our only hope.

Later-

Dave hosts Jack Black and Marv Albert.  Jon and Stephen in repeats, 12/14 and 12/8.  Alton does Cheese and Cheesecake.  Conan hosts Aaron Eckhart, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Beach House.

Boondocks– A Huey Freeman Christmas (“another irresponsible white person”)

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another.

Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another.

In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little.

More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress.

The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men – machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.

Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security.

By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will!

Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people.

Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness.

Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Hannah, can you hear me? Wherever you are, look up Hannah! The clouds are lifting! The sun is breaking through!

We are coming out of the darkness into the light! We are coming into a new world; a kindlier world, where men will rise above their hate, their greed, and brutality. Look up, Hannah! The soul of man has been given wings and at last he is beginning to fly. He is flying into the rainbow! Into the light of hope, into the future! The glorious future, that belongs to you, to me and to all of us. Look up, Hannah. Look up!

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Dec 20 2010

Prime Time

The Santa Clause 2 x 2.  I thought broadcast TV was above that cable laziness.  Survivor 2 Hour Season Finale and reunion show.  Pack @ Patsies (you know how to root though I doubt it will do much good).  Family Guy Something, Something, Something Dark Side.

You will never be able to reach your full potential until you first confront your deep-seated fear of success. Now get into the bag.

What’s in it?

Only what you take with you.

Later-

Dueling Seths!

Adult Swim’s Seth Green and Fox’s (and also Adult Swim’s) Seth MacFarlane go head to head Star Wars.  At 11:30 the *World Premier* of Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode III, guarenteed to be at least 4 times longer than your standard Robot Chicken episode, is followed closely by double size Episode 1 and Episode 2 for TWO FULL HOURS of Robot Chicken Star Wars enjoyment.

AND so you can see how badly Seth Green ripped himself off in addition to Lucas.

Be still my heart.

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Dec 19 2010

Prime Time

I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown!, Madagascar.  

Oh, really? I’m from Playskool.

And I’m from Mattel. Well, I’m not really from Mattel, I’m actually from a smaller company that was purchased by Mattel in a leveraged buyout.

Later-

SNL– Jeff Bridges and Eminem.

GitS: SAC 2nd Gig– Selecon and Make Up (Episodes 12 & 13)

Listen, Doc, about the future…

NO! Marty, we’ve already agreed that having information about the future can have disastrous consequences. Even if you’re intentions are good, it can backfire drastically! Whatever you’ve got to tell me, I’ll find out through the natural course of time.

…

What about all that talk about screwing up future events? The space-time continuum?

Well, I figured, what the hell?

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Dec 18 2010

Prime Time

Yes Virginia, Frosty the Snowman (Jimmy Durante), Frosty Returns (Jonathan Winters).  Nutcracker again.  Mid-season finale of Sanctuary so I’ve been distracted trying to catch up with the storylines.  Evidently we’re now exploring the mysteries of ‘Hollow Earth’, a network of tunnels and caverns created by a race of beings at war with the Vampires and those who still carry ‘The Source Blood’ and battling Jekyll and Hyde for access (am I too old to be be a fanboy?  No, no not at all).  You know what’s the best thing about Fridays?  Prison Porn instead of O’Donnell.

Later-

Dave hosts Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro.  

When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the ’64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn’t happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the ’60’s, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the ’64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

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Dec 17 2010

Prime Time

A Charlie Brown Christmas (the classic).  Not so many premiers.  Larry King’s last show.

Later-

Dave hosts Matt Damon and Florence & the Machine.  Jon has Mike Huckabee, Stephen Amy Sedaris and Paul Simon (next week repeats, pre-empted between ek’s mas and New Year’s).  Stephen used to work with Amy on Strangers with Candy.  Conan hosts Marky Mark Wahlberg, Charles Phoenix, and Jenny and Johnny.

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Dec 16 2010

Prime Time

Ugh.  Even worse than usual.  A good night to write diaries.

Are they slow-moving, chief?

Yeah, they’re dead. They’re all messed up.

Chief, if I were surrounded by eight or ten of these things, would I stand a chance with them?

Well, there’s no problem. If you have a gun, shoot ’em in the head. That’s a sure way to kill ’em. If you don’t, get yourself a club or a torch. Beat ’em or burn ’em. They go up pretty easy.

Later-

Dave hosts Tom Dreesen and Ronnie Spector.  Jon has Paul Rudd, Stephen Laird Hamilton.  Conan hosts Amy Adams, Roger Waters, and Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros.

Boondocks– Smokin’ With Cigarettes

Chief, do you think that we will be able to defeat these things?

Well, we killed nineteen of them today right in this area. The last three, we caught them trying to claw they’re way into an abandoned shed. They must of thought someone was in there, but there wasn’t though. We heard them making all kind of noises so we came over, beat ’em off and blasted them down.

Dec 15 2010

Prime Time

I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown!.  Some premiers.

As attentive readers know I am firmly of the belief that the time you most need blogs to distract you from the chaos of meat space is during the holidays when you have to deal with the unfortunate realities of your relatives.  It turns out that this year I’ll not have to stray too far from Stars Hollow so I’m prepared to provide my usual public service of creating excuses.

Not everyone is as addicted to mindless entertainment as I am and contributors who consider their time better spent in other pursuits are hereby released from whatever perceived obligations they have.  I’ll try and keep up as best I can, but I expect slowness and disruption of settled routines which always makes me cranky and out of sorts.

And then January 4th we’ll celebrate the Six Month Anniversary of The Stars Hollow Gazette and attempt a return to normalcy (such as it is).

Later-

Dave hosts Paul Rudd, Chris Russo, and Joanna Newsom.  Jon has Ricky Gervais, Stephen Stephen Sondheim.  Conan hosts Seth Green, Tim Meadows, and Broken Bells.

Boondocks– A Date With the Booty Warrior.

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