Tag: TV

Tonight is Game 2 of the WNBA Basketball Finals.  Bet you didn’t even know.

There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South… Here in this pretty world Gallantry took its last bow… Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave… Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered. A Civilization gone with the wind…

Can I tell you how much I hate Gone with the Wind?  As over rated and romanticized as Ayn Rand and her purile pre-pubescent fantasies of noble rape at the hand of a strong and masterful man.  Not to mention the naked racism.  As bad as anything in Birth of a Nation only with sound and in Technicolor.

Once I had hopes that we had put these shameful chapters behind us, if not in the Remorseless Revolutionary Struggle that claimed over 364 thousand (I don’t count Slavers), then certainly in the Civil Rights Movement.  But Bigots will not be thwarted.  They’ll not be satisfied until their racism is met with the applause of the approving and the shameful silence of those who should know better.

The past is never dead. It’s not even past. To live anywhere in the world today and be against equality because of race or color is like living in Alaska and being against snow.

• ABC Family– Melissa & Joey (premier), Love & Basketball
• AMC– Death Wish II x 2 (even more soul destroying than the first, I’m going to stop reporting on these)
• Bravo– Flipping Out (last week’s and new), The Rachel Zoe Project (premier)
• ESPN– World Series of Poker (2 premiers)
• ESPN2– Dream @ Storm
• Food– Chopped Champions (Round 3 of 4)
• FX– Prom Night (much worse than the 1980 original with Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen)
• Oxygen– Bad Girls Club (most recent and new), Hair Battle Spectacular (premier)
• SciFi– Warehouse 13 (last week’s and new)
• Speed– Monster Jam (with Inside Monster Jam 2!)
• Turner Classic– Gone with the Wind
• Toon– Unnatural History, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (premiers)
• USA– Covert Affairs (2 part Season Finale)
• Vs.– Major League

Later-

• AMC– Hamburger Hill
• FX– Terriers (Series Premier repeat)
• SciFi– Haven (this week’s)
• USA– Psych (this week’s)
• VH1– Roxanne (not Steve Martin’s best, that would be The Jerk, but watchable)

Jon has Tony Blair, Stephen Sean Wilentz.  Alton does Broccoli.  Boondocks, A Date With the Booty Warrior.

Tony Blair-

• Liar
• Murderer
• War Criminal

Unable to show his face in any civilized country.

May he end his long, long life of suffering locked in a dank cell at Spandau, despised and forgotten.

I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’ll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I’ll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There’s one thing I do know… and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we’re alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names.

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Monday Night Throwball double header, but the real treat is for you Ayn Rand fans- Patricia Neal in The Fountainhead–

The Fountainhead’s protagonist, Howard Roark, is an individualistic  young architect who chooses to struggle in obscurity rather than compromise his artistic and personal vision. The book follows his battle to practice what the public sees as modern architecture, which he believes to be superior, despite an establishment centered on tradition-worship. How others in the novel relate to Roark demonstrates Rand’s various archetypes of human character, all of which are variants between Roark, the author’s ideal man of independent-mindedness and integrity, and what she described as the “second-handers.” The complex relationships between Roark and the various kinds of individuals who assist or hinder his progress, or both, allow the novel to be at once a romantic drama and a philosophical work. By Rand’s own admission, Roark is the embodiment of the human spirit and his struggle represents the triumph of individualism over collectivism.

• ABC Family– Johnson Family Vacation x 2
• AMC– Death Wish x 2
• ESPN– Ravens @ Jets, Chargers @ Chiefs
• Food– Unwrapped, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (premiers)
• FX– There’s Something About Mary
• History– Pawn Stars, American Pickers (premiers)
• Oxygen– Juno x 2
• National Geographic– Inside the Vietnam War
• TBS– Family Guy night
• Turner Classic– The Fountainhead
• TNT– The Closer, Rizzoli & Isles (Season Finales)
• Toon– Regular Show, MAD, Total Drama World Tour (premiers)
• Travel– Man v. Food, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (premier)
• Vs.– Victory

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon, Mad Men (repeats of this week’s)
• Turner Classic– The Subject Was Roses, A Face in the Crowd
• TVLand– How Stella Got Her Groove Back
• USA– Covert Affairs, Psych, White Collar (this week’s)

Dave is in repeats.  Jon has Ben Affleck, Stephen Lisa Birnbach.  Alton does game birds.  Boondocks is doing Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy, but you’ve already seen that, haven’t you?

This whole country’s just like my flock of sheep!

Sheep?

Rednecks, crackers, hillbillies, hausfraus, shut-ins, pea-pickers – everybody that’s got to jump when somebody else blows the whistle. They don’t know it yet, but they’re all gonna be ‘Fighters for Fuller’. They’re mine! I own ’em! They think like I do. Only they’re even more stupid than I am, so I gotta think for ’em. Marcia, you just wait and see. I’m gonna be the power behind the president – and you’ll be the power behind me!

Sunday Night Throwball, Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Redskins.  On examining my feelings I don’t hate the ‘skins quite as much as the ‘boys.  Tonight Turner Classic is showing 2 films that perfectly illustrate my contention of rampant cultural misogyny in the 60s that sadly persists to this day.

• ABC Family– Cars x 2
• AMC– Broken Arrow, Rubicon and Mad Men (both premiers)
• Bravo– Top Chef marathon (including Season Finale)
• Disney– New Hannah Montana, Good Luck Charlie, Jonas L.A. (gag me with a spoon)
• Discovery– Man v. Wild x 2 (including Fan v. Wild), Mysteries of the Mediterranean (premier)
• ESPN– Cards @ Braves
• Food– The Great Food Truck Race (premier, 3 teams left), Iron Chef America (premier)
• FX– Cloverfield, Jumper
• History– Ice Road Truckers, Swamp People (premiers)
• MTV– 2010 MTV Video Music Awards (umm… who cares?)
• TBS– Last Holiday, My Boys x 2 (premiers)
• Turner Classic– Sex and the Single Girl, Bachelor in Paradise
• Adult Swim– Delocated (premier)
• TNT– The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King x 2

Later-

• Comedy– Futurama (3peat), Ugly Americans (repeat of Series Premier)
• FX– Cloverfield (again)
• SciFi– Carny
• Turner Classic– The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg (shhhh)
• USA– National Treasure

The Venture Brothers 2nd half Season Premier night on Adult Swim– The Diving Bell vs. the Butter Glider.  Childrens Hospital– Give a Painted Brother a Break.

You think you are wise, Mithrandir. Yet for all your subtleties, you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the White Tower are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against Mordor, and with your right you would seek to supplant me. I know who rides with Theoden of Rohan. Oh, yes. Word has reached my ears of this Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and I tell you now, I will not bow to this Ranger from the North, last of a ragged house long bereft of lordship!

Turn Left racing from Richmond, Twist Neck Whackball from Flushing Meadows- Women’s Final if either of those things excite you.

Prepare to be amazed beyond all expectations. After all it is what I do.

• ABC Family– Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Aladdin
• A&E– The Glades marathon
• AMC– Wild Wild West x 2
• Animal– Pit Boss (premier)
• Bravo– House marathon
• Comedy– Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
• E!– Heartbreakers
• ESPN– Penn State at Alabama, Stanford at UCLA (College Throwball)
• ESPN2– Oregon at Tennessee, Mississippi at Tulane (more College Throwball)
• History– 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, (tired of it yet?  I sure am)
• Nick– New iCarly, we meet Sam’s Mom.
• Oxygen– Pretty Woman x 2
• SciFi– Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island, Mandrake
• Style– How Do I Look?, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? (premiers)
• TBS– Hitch
• Turner Classic– White Heat, High Sierra (gangsta)
• TLC– Cake Boss marathon
• TNT– The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
• USA– NICS marathon
• Vs.– Bullriding! marathon

Later-

• ABC Family– Richie Rich
• AMC– McLintock! (Marion)
• FX– The League marathon
• Lifetime– Project Runway (this week’s)
• SciFi– Man-Thing
• TBS– My Boys marathon
• Turner Classic– Captain Horatio Hornblower
• TNT– Rizzoli & Isles (this week’s), Gladiator (Well Joey?)
• USA– Covert Affairs (2 most recent)

SNL has Peyton Manning and Carrie Underwood.  Adult Swim is showing Boondocks The Story of Gangstalicious (Season 1, Episode 6), Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy (Season 3, Episode 5) and GitS:SAC Jungle Cruise and Portraitz (Episodes 10 and 11).

Look at me. I’m fat, black, can’t dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there’s no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.

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The more I do this the more I realize just how repetitive and unimaginative most TV is.  That’s why sports stars are worth every penny they’re paid.

Another season ending surgery for Johan Santana.

Formula One Debrief and a repeat of this morning’s practice at Monza on Speed starting at 12:30.

• AMC– The Dead Pool x 2
• CNBC– Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room
• ESPN– West Virginia at Marshall, Texas-El Paso at Houston
• Food– Chopped Champions (repeat of Round 2)
• FX– Spiderman 3
• History– 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11
• MSNBC– Friday Night Thurber, Rachel, Brian Williams on New Orleans (hey, it’s better than prison porn)
• Oxygen– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous x 2
• SciFi– Eureka (last week’s and new), Haven (premier)
• TBS– Ocean’s Eleven x 2
• Turner Classic– Beach Red, Leave Her to Heaven (Cornel Wilde night)
• TNT– The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
• Toon– Clone Wars (3 episodes)
• USA– Liar Liar, The Game Plan
• Bravo– Bad Boys x 2
• Discovery– Man, Woman, Wild (last week’s and new), Beyond Survival With Les Stroud (premier)

Let me tell you something, Callahan. People… people are fascinated with death and violence. That’s why my films make money. They’re an escape, a vicarious release of fear. Same thing with this game. Nobody takes my films *or* the dead pool seriously.

Later-

• AMC– The Terminator
• MSNBC– Back to prison porn
• MTV– A Knight’s Tale
• Turner Classic– A Song to Remember (more Cornel)
• Toon– Childrens Hospital, American Dad, The Mighty Boosh (Artic), Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (episode 1 of 6)

Thursday night Throwball, Favres @ Saints.  bmaz thinks this is the second coming of the apocalypse, I think the Mets have the day off which is almost as good as rain.  Last chance for Dave and the Boys this week, ditto Keith and Rachel all night long.

• ABC Family– Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Gene Wilder)
• AMC– Sudden Impact x 2
• Comedy– Futurama marathon (comeback season episodes)
• Disney– Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Mythbusters marathon
• ESPN– College Throwball, Auburn @ Mississippi State
• Food– Extreme Cuisine With Jeff Corwin, Ace of Cakes (premiers)
• FX– Two and a Half Men, XXX: State of the Union
• History– 9/11, 9/11, 9/11
• Lifetime– Project Runway (last week’s and new)
• TBS–Stomp the Yard
• Turner Classic– Cornered, Act of Violence
• Toon– Repeats of this week’s Total Drama World Tour, Regular Show and MAD (Series Premiers)
• TV Guide– Tin Cup (a really good movie, otherwise I wouldn’t give TV Guide the time of day)
• TNT– Men in Black

It’s hard to believe that “Go ahead, make my day” scores higher with the AFI than this-

I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

Later-

• AMC– Mad Men (this week’s)
• FX– Terriers (repeat of last night’s Series Premier)
• SciFi– WCG Ultimate Gamer
• Turner Classic– Point Blank, Get Carter
• USA– White Collar (this week’s)

Dave hosts Jack Hanna and Jamey Johnson.  Jon has Meghan McCain, Stephen Jim Webb, Joshua Bleill, Lt. Col. Brent Cummings (???, you should click this link), and John Legend as the conclusion of his tribute to the Troops.  Alton does tinned Tuna.

Adult Swim has a repeat of the Delocated Season Premier and my second favorite episode of Boondocks Season 3- The Red Ball.

Well this is interesting, Keith on Dave without a cancellation by Johnny "Wet Start" McCain.

• AMC– The Enforcer x 2
• Disney– Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Depp), Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Man vs. Wild (last week’s and new)
• ESPN– Rays @ BoSox, Dodgers @ Padres
• FX– Jumper, Terriers x 3 (Series Premier)
• Oxygen– The Wedding Planner x 2
• Turner Classic– The Great Man’s Lady, Springtime in the Rockies
• TNT– Dark Blue (2 premiers)
• Travel– Man v. Food (2 premiers)
• USA– The Bourne Ultimatum, Psych (premier)
• Vs.– Slapshot (Paul Newman)
• Bravo– Top Chef marathon (leading up to the Season Finale which is then endlessly repeated)

The new episode of Man v. Wild, Fan v. Wild, is an interesting concept.  They had a contest to pick a fan to tag along with Bear.  Should be fun.

Later-

• AMC– Repeat of this week’s Rubicon, The Cowboys (Marion)
• National Geographic– Giuliani’s 9/11 (9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11)
• Turner Classic– Touch of Evil (I think this film is really under rated)

Dave hosts Julianna Margulies, Keith Olbermann and The Black Angels.  Jon has Tim Kaine (loser), Stephen Biden and Odierno as part of his salute to the Troops special.  Alton does Choux.

Boondocks, It’s Goin’ Down, the Season 3 Finale.  Highly watchable, number 3 on my list.

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Return to normalcy.  Dave and the Boys are back.  Keith and Rachel all night long.

• ABC Family– Melissa & Joey (premier), Gone in Sixty Seconds
• AMC– Magnum Force x 2
• Disney– Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure (Clap Louder! LOUDER!!!), Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Swords: Life on the Line (last week’s and new), The Colony (premier)
• E!– Bring It On: All or Nothing
• Food– Chopped (premier, 2nd group in the Champion’s series)
• FX– Cloverfield (What?  Too soon?)
• Oxygen– Barbershop x 2
• SciFi– Warehouse 13 (last week’s and new)
• Speed– New Monster Jam! (St. Louis, also Inside Monster Jam)
• Turner Classic– Dark Journey, Storm in a Teacup (Vivien Leigh night)
• Vs.– Eight Men Out x 2
• USA– White Collar, Covert Affairs (premiers)

Later-

• AMC– Unforgiven (“We all got it coming”)
• SciFi– Last week’s Haven
• Turner Classic– St. Martin’s Lane (more Vivien), A Yank in London

Dave hosts Katie Holmes and Rich Harrison.  Jon has Tim Gunn, Stephen Anthony Romero.  Alton does Milk.

Boondocks, It’s a Black President, Huey Freeman.  The opener of Season 3 and just a fantastic summary.  I won’t spoil it, but if there is one ‘must see’ episode this is it (my second favorite is The Red Ball).

Where’s it gonna end, Briggs?  Pretty soon, you’ll start executing people for jaywalking and executing people for traffic violations.  Then you end up executing your neighbor ’cause his dog pisses on your lawn.

There isn’t one man we’ve killed that didn’t deserve what was coming to him.

Yes, there is. Charlie McCoy.

What would you have done?

l’d have upheld the law.

What the hell do you know about the law?

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The thing about marathons is they’re great (if a little wearying) when you like the show and just horrible if you don’t.  Lots of marathons, premiers, and double features, but not much late at night unless you’re catching up on stuff you’ve already had a chance to see.

• ABC Family– The Secret Life of the American Teenager (premier), Friday Night Lights (Series Premier repeat)
• AMC– Dirty Harry x 2
• Bravo– The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Season Finale)
• Disney– Camp Rock 2 (because I know you just can’t get enough Jonas Brothers)
• Discovery– Dirty Jobs marathon
• ESPN– Boise State vs. Virginia Tech
• FX– Two and a Half Men marathon
• Food– The Best Thing I Ever Ate (premier), Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (premier)
• History– New Pawn Stars and American Pickers
• Lifetime– Bringing Down the House, Notting Hill
• Oxygen– The Skeleton Key x 2
• SciFi– Underworld
• Spike– The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
• TBS– Family Guy night
• Turner Classic– Make Way for Tomorrow, Tender Mercies
• TNT– The Closer (last week’s and new, next to last this season), Rizzoli & Isles (premier)
• Toon– Series Premiers for Regular Show and MAD, new Total Drama World Tour
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations marathon including premier of the 100th Episode Special and another premier (Paris)
• Vs.– Bull Durham, The Longest Yard (the good Burt Reynolds version)
• TV Land– Crocodile Dundee

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon, Mad Men (repeats of this week’s)
• Oxygen– The Craft
• Turner Classic– Playtime
• Vs.– Major League

Dave, Jon, and Stephen in repeats, but they’ll be new again tomorrow through Thursday.  Alton does Coconut cake.  Boondocks, Bitches to Rags the second episode of Season 3.

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Holiday weekend Sunday.  Some stuff, but not a lot to pick and choose from.  You might be interested in this though, Turner Classic is running a marathon of The March of Time newsreels.

• ABC Family– The Sound of Music (I barfed the first time I saw this, but I was sick on Saltwater Taffy)
• Comedy– More Futurama new season marathon
• Disney– What?  You havent seen Camp Rock 2 yet?
• ESPN– Turn Left Sprint Cup: Emory Healthcare 500
• Food– The Great Food Truck Race (Final 4), Iron Chef America (both premiers)
• FX– Alvin and the Chipmunks x 2 (but why?  Worst film of 2007)
• History– Swamp People marathon (including premier)
• SciFi– The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (I don’t think this was as horrible as some others do)
• Spike– Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars (Lucas can fuck himself for rewriting history.  Han shot first.)
• TBS– My Big Fat Greek Wedding x 2
• TNT– Leverage (last week’s and Season Finale)
• Toon– New Delocated and Childrens Hospital
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations marathon
• VH1– New Ochocinco!

Later-

• AMC– Mad Men and Rubicon
• CNBC– How to Beat the High Cost of Living (Really fun, you should check it out)
• Comedy– More Futurama
• SciFi– The Prestige
• USA– Hairspray (sorry, the sucky 2007 version not John Waters’ 1988 original with Devine)
• Vs.– More Turn Left, Whelen Southern Modified Tour: Caraway
• Turner Classic– The Pagan (shhhh)

Pinstripes & Poltergeists.  When I mentioned this on Friday I didn’t realize it was the last episode so far.  The rest of Season 4 starts on the 12th, so if you want to catch up you might want to watch.

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