Tag: TV

So Fairfield heads home.  There’s more Little League World Series if you want to watch it, I’ll stick with the Mets’ typical implosion.

What I’d like to highlight for your consideration is Turner Classic’s To Have and Have Not.  I think it’s almost as good as Casablanca (best.  movie.  ever.).

Keith and Rachel all night long.

• Food– Repeat of this week’s Great Food Truck Race
• FX– The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious x 2 (are there enough 2s?)
• Nick– Back to the Future Part III (must have missed one)
• Discovery– Man vs. Wild (premier, Canadian Rockies)
• Travel– Man v. Food (did I mention it gets slow in the middle of the week?)
• Disney– Underdog (the film, not the superior cartoon voiced by Wally Cox)
• USA– Psych (premier)

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon, M*A*S*H (the movie with John Schuck from McMillan and Wife)
• Turner Classic– Young Man with a Horn, Bright Leaf (Lauren Bacall night)
• USA– Burn Notice, Royal Pains (this week’s)

Dave hosts Christina Applegate, Tom Dreesen, and The Pretty Reckless.  Miss Universe 2010 presents the Top 10.  Jon has Drew Barrymore, Stephen Heidi Cullen.  Alton does Carrots.

Blood of the Father, Heart of Steel, the Venture Brothers Season 4 premier, is a little confusing because it has 2 timelines that go in opposite directions.  Fortunately Adult Swim screwed up the first broadcast and as a make good ran it for the rest of the week so I could figure it out.

You know Steve, you’re not very hard to figure, only at times. Sometimes I know exactly what you’re going to say. Most of the time. The other times… the other times, you’re just a stinker.

Yahoo TV Listings

Well, you have just as good an idea as I do what yesterday’s rainout did to the Little League World Series schedule.

Were it not for my contractual obligations I’d skip this diary tonight,  Instead I’ll offer a half-hearted and sketchy effort that in no way does justice to my usual stellar performance.

You see my marginal tax rate might rise so I’m going pro-actively Galt.

• AMC– Nanny McPhee x 2
• ABC Family– Melissa & Joey (premier)
• SciFi– Warehouse 13 (last week’s and new)
• Turner Classic– The Big Parade, Bardelys the Magnificent (shhhh)
• Toon– Unnatural History (premier)
• Travel– Man v. Food (Watching TV on Tuesday is just like downing that last pound of pasta)

Later-

• AMC– Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
• SciFi– Haven [repeat of this week’s)
• Turner Classic– Flesh and the Devil (Garbo Doesn’t Speak!)

Dave hosts Drew Barrymore and Katy Perry.  Jon has Brian Williams (ugh) and Stephen Jeffrey “Let’s Bomb Iraq Iran” Goldberg (double ugh).

Alton does Pad Thai.  The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together Part 2– Brock leaves!  Henchman #24 Dies!  Part 3 of the 3 Part Season 3 Finale.

In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression.

Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.

Yahoo TV Listings

Welcome to the loser’s bracket.  Win tonight or go home.  ESPN 2.  

We also have Monday Night Throwball, Cardinals @ Titans.  Pfft!  Who cares?

Keith AND Rachel all night long.

• Spike– No Country for Old Men
• ABC Family– Secret Life of the American Teenager, Huge (premiers)
• Food– The Best Thing I Ever Ate Sliced (premier)
• FX– The Simpsons Movie
• History– Pawn Stars, American Pickers
• Oxygen– Dance Your Ass Off (premier)
• SciFi– Stephen King’s ‘Desperation’
• Nick– Back to the Future
• TBS– Family Guy Night
• Turner Classic– Raintree County (Liz Taylor night)
• Discovery– Half of Odd Couple Survival marathon
• TLC– Cake Boss
• TNT– The Closer (premier)
• Toon– Monday night premiers for Adventure Time With Finn & Jake, Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Total Drama World Tour, and Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (marathon and premier)
• TV Land– Big (a Tom Hanks movie that doesn’t suck)

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon and Mad Men (repeats from yesterday)
• Turner Classic– Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (Taylor AND Burton)

Dave is back with Brian Williams (ugh), Big Boi performs.  Jon has Rod Blagojevich, Stephen Leslie Kean (did I mention that the History Channel is always right?  Especially about Aliens and the Illuminati).

Alton does Yorkshire Pudding.  The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together- Part 1, Part 2 of the 3 part Venture Brothers Season 3 Finale.

Listen, Doc, about the future…

NO! Marty, we’ve already agreed that having information about the future can have disastrous consequences. Even if you’re intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!

…

What about all that talk about screwing up future events? The space-time continuum?

Well, I figured, what the hell.

Well, what I’ll be watching is the Little League World Series on ESPN 2; Fairfield All-Stars vs. Pearland, Texas.  However the games only last 6 innings and there’s a definite possibility things will go badly even though we root, root, root for the home team so you’ll want some viewing alternatives.

There is Throwball, the Farves @ the 49ers.  Might be good for yucks.  TV Guide will be a thin sliver beneath the 16th repeat of Mannequin in 3 days.  Thanks for nothing assholes.

TheMomCat will be watching True Blood because she gets HBO.  I’ll note for the record that the two leads just got married.

• Spike– Die Another Day (Brosnan)
• AMC– New Rubicon and Mad Men (all night long)
• ESPN– Angels @ Twins (yawn, but bad Baseball beats good Throwball all week long and twice on Sundays)
• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Swoopy)
• Food– Network Challenge (Roller Derby Cakes) and The Great Food Truck Race (Chile Santa Fe, six trucks remain).  Family Style (Series Premier).
• FX– Made of Honor (again)
• History– Swamp People (Series Premier)
• Lifetime– Drop Dead Diva (premier), Army Wives (Season 4 Finale)
• TBS– Fool’s Gold x 2 (again and again and again)
• Turner Classic– Swiss Family Robinson
• Discovery– Through the Wormhole With Morgan Freeman (an entire night of premiers, repeated so you don’t miss them)

Later-

• USA– Burn Notice (first Season Finale), Royal Pains (this week’s)

Mostly networks are repeating tonight’s premiers, some of which I’ve tried to note above.

MSNBC has To Catch a Predator for you Chris Hansen fans followed by Sex Bunker.  The executives responsible for these abominations are motherfucking perverts.  Literally.

Adult Swim has the Season 3 Premiers of Boondocks It’s a Black President, Huey Freeman and Metalocalypse Renovation Klok (both repeats).  Also the first Season Finale of Dino Stamatopoulos’ new project Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole.

Yahoo TV Listings

More Turn Left Racing, the Irwin Tools Night Race.  SNL repeat- Zach Galifianakis hosts, Vampire Weekend performs.

• Animal– Pit Boss (premier)
• AMC– Rio Bravo (Marion and Dino)
• ESPN– Little League World Series, Auburn, Washington vs. Plymouth, Minnesota (Elimination Game)
• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
• E!– Pride & Prejudice
• Food– Ace of Cakes
• Oxygen– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous x 2
• SciFi– Lake Placid 2 & 3 (World Premier)
• TBS– Fool’s Gold (again)
• Turner Classic– The Sting, Cool Hand Luke (Paul Newman night)
• TLC– Strange Sex marathon
• TNT– Gladiator (Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?)
• USA– Hairspray, Juno

Later-

• AMC– Hondo (more Marion)
• ABC Family– O Brother, Where Art Thou?
• Turner Classic– Rachel, Rachel
• USA– Enchanted
• VH1– Purple Rain

Boondocks Season 3 Finale, GitS: SAC Interceptor and Decoy (episodes 4 & 5 of the Stand Alone Complex series)

Yahoo TV Listings

Friday Night Throwball- Eagles @ Bengals.  You might be interested to know the Fairfield All-Stars advanced at Williamsport 3 – 1.  One crack at Keith and Rachel, but at least the Prison Porn is some asshole other than Arpaio.

• ESPN– Turn Left Racing, The Food City 250
• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
• SciFi– Eureka (last week’s and a new), Haven
• TBS– Fool’s Gold
• Turner Classic– Woman of the Year, Without Love (Tracy and Hepburn)
• Discovery– Odd Couple Survival night
• TNT– 3:10 to Yuma (not the superior 1957 version)
• Toon– Ben 10 and Generator Rex premiers, Clone Wars (Cad Bane episodes)
• Disney– Phineas and Ferb block @ 9

I suppose I should be high minded and watch Hepburn and Tracy, but I’ll probably be weak and watch Radcliffe, Watson, and Grint again.

Later-

• Turner Classic– Bringing Up Baby (Hepburn and Grant)
• TNT– Tombstone (Russell, Kilmer)

No Dave or even Jay except repeats.  Alton does squid.  Look Around You– Food, episode 4 including Pam’s special birthday.

ORB– Part 1 of the 3 part Venture Brothers Season 3 Finale, it covers the origins of The Guild of Calamitous Intent.  Oscar Wilde proves once again that he can resist anything except temptation.  Brock’s Dodge Charger tries to kill him twice.

Yahoo TV Listings

Thursday Night Throwball- Patriots @ Falcons.  Last Chance for our Boys until Monday.  I’ll be surprised if Rachel is back from Iraq yet.

• Comedy– Futurama (premier @ 10)
• Food– Extreme Cuisine With Jeff Corwin (Season Premier)
• History– Time Travel and Stan Lee’s Freaks (Umm… why do they call it History again?)
• Lifetime– Project Runway (premier)
• Turner Classic– Man Hunt, Madame Curie (Walter Pidgeon night)
• Discovery– Mythbusters and Pitchmen (Season Premier)
• TLC– Sr. v. Jr. (Last week’s season premier and new), BBQ Pitmasters (why isn’t this on Food Channel?)
• Toon– Repeats of Monday’s premiers
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Repeats from the 18th and the 16th, what kind of schedule are they running?)
• USA– Burn Notice, Royal Pains (premiers)

At 10 pm Disney is running some Phineas and Ferb.  I ♥ me some good trainwreck, guess what I’ll be watching.

Later-

• AMC– Repeat of Mad Men and Caddyshack
• FX– The Departed
• SciFi– WCG Ultimate Gamer (Season Premier, if you like watching other people play video games)

Jon has Jennifer Aniston, Stephen Jon Krakauer.  Did I mention new Futurama?  Alton does Wontons.  Now You Museum, Now You Don’t (thought this was last night, can’t tell you for sure because my cable was partly down for maintainance).

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

A looper?

A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

Yahoo TV Listings

Ugh.  It’s no wonder why a majority of Americans (well, US Americans, but it’s just not as melliflous) no longer watch first run Television live and instead record it on their DVRs for later viewing.  Tonight certainly makes me envy my SciFi friend and her extensive collection of Pit Boss.

• AMC– Inside Man (a Spike Lee joint)
• ESPN– Giants @ Phillies, Rockies @ Dodgers
• ABC Family- Two Weeks Notice
• Food– The Great Food Truck Race (Series Premier repeat)
• Lifetime– Antwone Fisher (Denzel Washington night)
• Turner Classic– Torrid Zone, Kings Row (Ann Sheridan night)
• Discovery– Man v. Wild (last week’s and new)
• Travel– Man v. Food

Do you want to know what I’ll really be watching?  Probably The Great Food Truck Race and Mets @ Astros now, the new Man v. Wild at 9, and then maybe Kings Row.  Murder, insanity and sadism in a small town at the turn of the century with Ronald Reagan, Ann Sheridan, and Love that Bob.

I mean, Wild Hogs twice in a row?  Not if you paid me.  As far as I’m concerned it’s cruel and unusual punishment of the type that used to be banned by the Constitution and the Geneva Convention before we decided waterboarding and anally raping children with chem sticks in front of their parents was ok.  Even Ronald Wilson Reagan in his best role ever isn’t as eye gougingly bad.

Later-

No Alton, no Dave, not even Jay.

• AMC– The Negotiator
• Turner Classic– The Man Who Came to Dinner
• FX– Tomcats

Jon has Edward P. Kohn (have your people post a Wiki entry, idiot), Stephen Thomas French.  Jon has Back in Black which is usually so nice you want to see it twice.

Now You Museum, Now You Don’t.  For those of you who worry about our Boys, Dr. Richard “Dick” Impossible is voiced by Christopher McCulloch in this episode.  No Colberts attemped suicide by swallowing a bomb during the animation.

Yahoo TV Listings

No Rachel last night which is ok, Chris does a fine job.  Dave still in repeats.

• ESPN– World Series of Poker! (maybe I should have live blogged it)
• ABC Family– Melissa & Joey Series Premier, also Make It or Break It (premier)
• FX– Made of Honor
• History– Top Shot (finale again, no I won’t spoil it for you)
• SciFi– If it’s Tuesday it must be Warehouse 13
• TBS– More wondering who’s going to replace Steve Carell
• Turner Classic– The Quiet Man, Rio Grande (more Marion)
• Toon– Unnatural History (premier)
• USA– White Collar (premier), Covert Affairs

Later-

• AMC– Spaceballs (probably Mel Brook’s least funny movie)
• SciFi– Haven
• Turner Classic– The Black Swan

Jon has Dick Armey (I can’t even type it without laughing, I wonder how Jon will do), Stephen Barry Levine.  Alton does ‘Power Bars’.  Tears of a Sea Cow (oh the You Manatee).

Well, somebody had to say it.

Is it just me or does Tuesday night TV really suck?  I should join a book club.

Monday Night Throwball?!!  WTF!?  At least these are 2 teams that are a passing distraction to me (Jets/Giants).  I’d liveblog them all, but looking at the schedule there are only 6 games I have even a minor interest in-

And by minor, I mean Jets/Patriots is hardly going to keep me up any longer than my Mom, Emily, who although a huge Patriots fan goes to bed at 9 pm.

Seriously.

The door is open for anyone who wants to step up.

• AMC– Nanny McPhee, last night’s Rubicon
• ABC Family– Secret Life of the American Teenager (premier, for Caribou Barbie)
• FX– The Devil Wears Prada (so does the Pope)
• History– Pawn Stars, American Pickers (Season Premier)
• TBS– Family Guy night
• Turner Classic– The Mortal Storm, The Tarnished Angels
• Discovery– Ultimate Car Build-Off (Spy Cars, premier)
• TNT– The Closer (last week and premier)
• Toon– Adventure Time With Finn & Jake, Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Total Drama World Tour, Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated (mostly premiers)
• Spike– Blade: Trinity
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (premier)
• TLC– Cake Boss

Later-

• AMC– Last night’s Mad Men, Nanny McPhee again
• FX– The Girl Next Door
• Turner Classics– Airplane! (why I was thinking about The Spinning News)

Dave is still in repeats.  Jon has Emma Thompson, Stephen Richard Clarke and John Fetterman.  Alton does Trout.  What Goes Down Must Come Up.

I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try… except during the playoffs.

The hell I don’t. LISTEN KID. I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.