Tag: TV

Well, a Friday night lineup that makes me wish I had a date.

First of all you only get to watch Keith and Rachel the once because the real life jackbooted fascism of Joseph Arpaio is more compelling television.  AMC has Ghost Ship twice though why you’d want to see it even once is beyond me.  It’s also a ‘Classic’ since 2002 instead of the (presumably better) 1952 version.

TBS has Shrek the Third twice which makes some sense if you’re a Mike Myers fan (which I’m not).  Shrek in general always makes me wonder if Piers Anthony is getting any royalties.  Probably not given Hollywood’s general respect for intellectual property.

The usual schedule of Toons with Ben 10 and Generator Rex premiers and an interesting pair of Moral Orals at 10:30- Numb and Grounded.  There is Phineas and Ferb at 9 if you prefer that to Clone Wars.  SciFi has last week’s season opener of Eureka and a new episode, followed  by a new episode of Haven.

Turner Classic comes through as usual with a pair of very difficult cult classics- Tod Browning’s Freaks and Circus of Horrors.  You should watch them, or at least pretend to have.

Update: Great.  Keith is taking 2 weeks off.

At least at 10 pm the Mets are back and who knows, maybe Carlos Beltran.

Other than that the appalling content drought continues.

The Specialist is a horrible Sylvester Stalone movie, but since they’re all horrible it’s hard to even care.  ESPN has highlights from The Open which is celebrating 150 years at St. Andrews with a surprisingly easy round.  Double Good Eats, Fried Chicken and Edible Oils.  Vantage Point is so riveting FX is running it twice when once would be more than enough.  History at least has The Universe and How the Earth was Made.

I can’t understand why Tyler Perry is famous any more than I can understand why Ghost Hunters made it to 100 episodes.  Better Off Dead?

Futurama has a premier episode @ 10.

Later-

Last Jon and Stephen, even in repeats, for a week.  Jon 7/6, Stephen 6/29.  David has Kyra Sedgwick, Bret Michaels, and Jimmy Cliff.  Alton talks about Freezers.  John Houston night on Turner Classics– 16 Candles, Ferris.

One of my subtler themes is the appalling lack of innovation and creativity in entertainment (which is the primary reason sports figures deserve every dime they can wring from their dilletant billionaire toy boy masters).

This makes selecting Prime Time features difficult since as much as I admire Phineas and Ferb I’ll often spare myself a 4th viewing in favor of novelty, if it’s available.

Sometimes not so much.

Executive Decision is Kurt Russell’s worst movie ever, including The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes.  ESPN has the ESPYs.  Every time I’ve watched The Cable Guy has been one time too many.  The Departed, just because it’s Scorsese doesn’t make it memorable.

Mythbusters Buster’s Cuts looks pretty good though it’s likely to be painfully hoaky.  Man v. Food is always the same but different.  The only thing I’m really looking forward to is Zahi Hawass’ new show on History @ 10.

Later-

Jon from 7/5, Stephen 6/28.  David has Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Laurie Anderson. Alton has Herbs.

Major League Baseball All-Star Game!

Explain to me why I should be watching this exhibition again?  Am I scouting for stretch and playoff trades?

As a Mets fan I’m content to work off injuries and dangle our bait and satisfied when everyone plays to their potential.

And we’re competing against the hated Braves and not the upstart Phillies, what could be better than that?

The reason for Junior League ascendancy of late is simply that since the designated hitter rule every single game they play is an exhibition unless it’s in a National League park during (shudder) inter-League play.

Now, about those wild cards and short play-offs, and there’s that lowering the mound thing…

Every record since the live ball is suspect.

Not Baseball–

• AMC– Tin Cup
• ESPN– Sweden @ US Women’s Football for the Cup deprived.
• History– 10 pm Top Shot from Sunday.
• SciFi– Warehouse 13, last week’s season premier and a brand new episode.
• Turner Classic– To Be or Not to Be, the good Jack Benny/Carol Lombard one not Mel and Ann Bancroft’s homage.
• Food– 10 pm New Chopped.

Later-

Jon 6/28, Stephen 6/30.  Letterman, Kristin Chenoweth and M.I.A..  Alton, Crabs.

9 pm, Total Drama World Tour premier- “Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better”.

• AMC– Mad Men
• ESPN– Home Run Derby
• FX– Man on Fire
• History– Pawn Stars, American Pickers
• SciFi– Another repeat of the season premier of Warehouse 13.
• TBS– Family Guy and Neighbors from Hell
• Turner Classic– Roman Holiday
• TLC– Cake Boss

Later-

Letterman- Nicolas Cage, Steel Train.  Jon (6/30) and Stephen (7/7) in repeats.  Good Eats has Tacos.  Turner Classics– Spellbound.

I’d be remiss if I did not highlight a film of note- Harold Lloyd’s last silent, Speedy.  On Turner Classic of course.

(A) young man trying to save New York’s last horse-drawn streetcar line.

You can DVR and watch it later.

Less worthy things-

• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (much easier not in 3D)
• ESPN– Cubs @ Dodgers
• AMC– Pearl Harbor (ouch)
• History– Pawn Stars, Ice Road Truckers, Top Shot
• Discovery– Mythbusters

Eye gougingly bad things (shame on you)-

• E!– Justin Bieber: My World
• FX– Alien vs. Predator, AVPR: Aliens vs Predator—Requiem

Toon is having Unnatural History if you’re trying to get into it and then at 10:30 Adult Swim will debut Children’s Hospital.  Disney has a repeat of Phineas and Ferb’s “Hawaiian Vacation” at 10.

Later-

New Boondocks @ 11:30.  Dino Stamatopoulos’ new project @ 12:30.

Well, since I’m skipping the night when I’d normally be getting dog therapy I thought I’d at least mention America’s Cutest Dog and World’s Ugliest Dog Competition on Animal Planet.  Frankly I’m highly suspicious of the motivations of both, I don’t think animals should be framed by human perceptions of beauty.

They drink out of toilets, how cute can they be?

• AMC– Blood Work
• ESPN– World Cup Prime Time (Germany v. Uruguay)
• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
• TBS– Men in Black
• Turner Classic– My Darling Clementine, Sergeant Rutledge
• Discovery– Dirty Jobs
• TNT– Lifelock.com 400

Scary Movie is hard to get away from but I advise you to try.  History has The Lost Pyramid and Egypt: Engineering an Empire, both really good documentaries if you haven’t already seen them.

Later-

Boondocks, 2 Episodes.

• ABC Family– Van Helsing
• FX– Alien vs. Predator

SNL from 3/13/10, Jude Law, Pearl Jam.

GitS: SAC 2nd Gig, Fabricate Fog, Embarrassment.

Your only crack at Keith and Rachel tonight.  Dateline extended maximum exposure lockup trapped until Monday stalker.

• AMC– The Cowboys
• Bravo– Legends of the Fall
• CNBC– The Rainmaker
• ESPN– The Dollar General 300
• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
• FX– Miracle
• Oxygen– While You Were Sleeping
• SciFi– Eureka 3rd season finale and 4th season opener.
• Turner Classic– Abe Lincoln in Illinois and Young Mr. Lincoln
• TNT– Titanic
• USA– Ocean’s Thirteen

Disney has a fair sampling of Phineas and Ferb (premier of “Hawaiian Vacation” @ 9) so I’ll probably watch that instead of anything good.

Later-

Fresh Leno (but why?).  Good Eats– Dutch Ovens.  SciFi repeating Eureka premier, Haven (new to me) and Warehouse 13 (new this week).  Look Around You, Computers.  

Keith & Rachel.

9 pm, History– The Universe, “Lightspeed”.

10 pm, Futurama– “Proposition Infinity” World Premier.

• ESPN– World Cup Prime Time Special
• ABC Family– Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
• Food– Good Eats, Cheese and Tacos
• SciFi– National Treasure
• TBS– The Chronicles of Riddick
• AMC– Outbreak
• Turner Classic– Gidget

Now you may claim I’ve unjustly excluded The Waterboy but no Adam Sandler movie can ever be unjustly excluded and these lists are things I’d actually watch, not gouge out my eyes to avoid.

Later-

Live Leno.  Jon has Marilynne Robinson, Stephen Arturo Rodríguez.

Next week is re-runs and the week after that they are pre-empted, so last original episodes for 2 weeks at least.

Midnight to 1 Futurama from current season.  Dill Pickles on Good Eats.  Rebroadcast of last night’s Warehouse 13 premier.

• Turner Classic– Beach Blanket Bingo and Bikini Beach.

You may think this just a vanity until you have your free TV Guide channel sucked to nothing so you can watch repeats of Ugly Betty.

I hate to talk trash, but what turned me against Arnold Schwarzenegger and his movies entirely is the misogyny revealed in True Lies, but Eraser is a close second.

9 pm Futurama is a repeat of the last original of the new batch.

10 pm Dinner Impossible is usually entertaining.

• FX– Doomsday “28 Days Later” meets “The Road Warrior“.
• Hist– American Pickers & Pawn Stars.
• Discovery– 2 Hours of Mythbusters Duct Tape plus Chicken Busters.
• ESPN– Cincinnati @ Mets.
• ABC Family– Edward Scissorhands.

Last day of Rachel from Afghanistan.