Tag: ek Holiday

Cinco de Mayo

Reprinted from 5/5/2012

The name simply means “The Fifth of May” and it’s an oddly U.S. American holiday.

Except in the State of Puebla they don’t much celebrate the victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla in Mexico which makes it much more like Patriot’s Day that we here in New England get to celebrate almost every year as an extra filing day (I understand there’s also a foot race in Boston).

Interestingly enough it was a stand up fight against the banksters which they lost (those who do not remember history…).  Some people say that the French intervention was intended to establish a supply line to aid the Slave Owner’s Rebellion (or as the more charitable put it, The War of the Rebellion).

Not Congressionally recognized until 2005, celebrations started in California as early as the mid 1860s and for over 100 years were most common in Southwestern States with a large population of people of Mexican descent.  Now of course it’s just another excuse to over consume the cheap crappy Tequila and Beer that Mexico exports (don’t get me wrong, there are good Mexican Beers and Tequila but Corona, Dos Equis, and Jose Cuervo are not them) and ignore real, actual factual Mexican history because we’re so fucking exceptional that understanding and caring about the countries we border is as beneath us as even knowing which ones they are.

Just don’t mistake it for Grito de Dolores.

Triple Crown: The Longest 2 Minutes In Sports

Adapted from 5/5/12

This was no ordinary homecoming.  This was a do-or-die attempt to lay the ghost of years of rejection from the horse-rearing elite and the literati who sat in those privileged boxes overlooking the track and those unprivileged craven hordes who grovelled around the centre-field where he had suffered as a boy.

The clubhouse as I remember was worse, much worse than I had expected.  It was a mess.  This was supposed to be a smart, horsey clubhouse, oozing with money and gentry, but what I saw had me skulking in corners.  It was worse than the night I spent on Skid Row a month later, back in New York.  My feet crunched broken glass on the floor.  There seemed no difference between a telephone booth and a urinal; both were used for the same purpose.  Foul messages were scrawled in human excrement on the walls and bull-necked men, in what had once been white, but were smeared and stained, seersucker suits, were doing awful things to younger but equally depraved men around every corner.  The place reminded me of a cowshed that hadn’t been cleaned in fifteen years.  Somehow I knew I had to look and observe.  It was my job.  What was I being paid for?  I was lucky to be here.  Lots of people would give their drawing arm to be able to see the actual Kentucky Derby which was now hardly an hour away.  Hunter understood and was watching me as much as he was watching the scene before us.

Something splattered the page I was drawing on and, as I moved to wipe it away, I realized too late it was somebody’s vomit.  During the worst days of the Weimar Republic, when Hitler was rising faster than a bull on heat, George Grosz, the savage satirical painter, had used human shit as a violent method of colouring his drawings.  It is a shade of brown like no other and its use makes an ultimate statement about the subject.

‘Seen enough?’, asked Hunter, pushing me hastily towards an exit that led out to the club enclosure.  I needed a drink.  ‘Er… one more trip to the inner-field Ralph I think,’ I heard Hunter say nervously.  ‘Only another half-hour to the big race.  If we don’t catch the inner-field now, we’ll miss it.’  So we went.

While the scene was as wild here as it had been in the clubhouse, it had a warmer, more human face, more colour and happiness and gay abandon – the difference in atmosphere between Hogarth’s Gin Lane and Beer Street.  One harrowed and death-like the other bloated with booze but animal-healthy.

Who would have thought I was after the gristle, the blood-throbbing veins, poisoned exquisitely by endless self-indulgence, mint juleps, and bourbon.  Hide, anyway, behind the dark shades you predatory piece of raw blubber.

The race was now getting a frenzied response as Dust Commander began to make the running.  Bangles and jewels rattled on suntanned, wobbling flesh and even the pillar men in suits were now on tip-toe, creased skin under double-chins stretched to the limit into long furrows that curved down into tight collars.

Mouths opened and closed and veins pulsed in unison as the frenzy reached its climax.  One or two slumped back as their horses failed, but the mass hysteria rose to a final orgasmic shriek, at last bubbling over into whoops of joy, hugging and back slapping.  I turned to face the track again, but it was all over.  That was it.  The 1970 Kentucky Derby won by Dust Commander with a lead of five lengths – the biggest winning margin since 1946 when Triple Crown Champion, Assault, won the Derby by eight lengths.

‘I think it’s time I was thinking of getting back to New York.  Let’s have a meal somewhere and I can phone the airline for plane times.  What day is it, we seem to have lost a weekend.  I need a drink.’

‘You need a lynching.  You’ve upset my friends and I haven’t written a goddamn word.  I’ve been too busy looking after you.  Your work here is done.  I can never come back here again.  This whole thing will probably finish me as a writer.  I have no story.’

‘Well I know we got a bit pissed and let things slip a bit but there’s lots of colour.  Lots happened.’

‘Holy Shit!  You scumbag!  This is Kentucky, not Skid Row.  I love these people.  They are my friends and you treated them like scum.’

Ralph Steadman- The Joke’s Over

As Horse Racing Season Heats Up, Industry Examines Itself To Keep Horses Safer

By Travis Waldron, ThinkProgress

May 4, 2013 at 9:00 am

Saturday will mark the 139th running of the Kentucky Derby, when the top three-year-old horses from around the world will compete for the garland of roses in America’s oldest continuous sporting event. The Derby has gone off on the first Saturday in May uninterrupted since 1875, and as the years have worn on, the crowds and ceremonies have only grown.

The Sport of Kings may not hold the prominent place in American culture it once did, but it hasn’t been immunized from the debates that have enthralled the sports that have taken its place. Like baseball, it has battled the spread of performance-enhancing drugs. Like football, it has faced its own existential crisis, a question about whether it is too dangerous and whether it can be made safe for its participants.

Like both sports, those battles have featured prominently in the national media – perhaps never more so than they did in 2008, when the Derby champion, Big Brown, was linked to steroids and runner-up, Eight Belles, collapsed in a heap after crossing the finish line and was euthanized on the Churchill Downs dirt. The sport was already facing questions – and asking them of itself – before that Saturday, and the questions have only grown stronger since.

American racetracks have one of the highest collective breakdown rates in the world, and even though horses here have more opportunities to enter the starting gates, they do so far less often than many of their foreign competitors. A New York Times analysis found that American race horses had an on-track incident rate of 5.2 per 1,000 starts; by comparison, a Toronto racetrack the Times studied had a rate of just 1.4 per 1,000 starts. The average number of starts for American horses plunged to an all-time low – 6.1 – in 2010; by comparison, foreign horses average as many as 18 starts in their careers.

Hmm… remind you of anything?  It should.  It’s just about the same as last year’s featured piece from The Atlantic.

That’s tradition for you.

If you want to you can watch Kentucky Derby coverage from 11 am ET (on Vs. where it actually started on Wednesday) until 7 pm (on NBC, where they spare you the pre-race hype until 4).

I suppose this is good thing since you can hardly be expected to follow Horse Racing unless you’re a tout or plunger in one of the few forms of gambling deemed socially acceptable (as opposed to Poker, which is not gambling at all) and 2 year olds don’t have much of a record to handicap.  Black Onyx is a last minute scratch and will not be replaced.

Ice Cream.  Get your Tutsi Frootsie Ice Cream.

It’s really mostly an excuse to wear hats that would be rejected from a 5th Avenue Easter Parade or Royal Wedding and get tanked up on Bourbon that is best sipped with a soda chaser and not muddled up with mint.

Mint Julep

Ingredients

  • 4 cups bourbon
  • 2 bunches fresh spearmint
  • 1 cup distilled water
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • Powdered sugar

Directions

To prepare mint extract, remove about 40 small mint leaves. Wash and place in a small bowl. Cover with 3 ounces bourbon. Allow the leaves to soak for 15 minutes. Then gather the leaves in paper toweling. Thoroughly wring the mint over the bowl of whisky. Dip the bundle again and repeat the process several times.

To prepare simple syrup, mix 1 cup of granulated sugar and 1 cup of distilled water in a small saucepan. Heat to dissolve sugar. Stir constantly so the sugar does not burn. Set aside to cool.

To prepare mint julep mixture, pour 3 1/2 cups of bourbon into a large glass bowl or glass pitcher. Add 1 cup of the simple syrup to the bourbon.

Now begin adding the mint extract 1 tablespoon at a time to the julep mixture. Each batch of mint extract is different, so you must taste and smell after each tablespoon is added. You are looking for a soft mint aroma and taste-generally about 3 tablespoons. When you think it’s right, pour the whole mixture back into the empty liter bottle and refrigerate it for at least 24 hours to “marry” the flavors.

To serve the julep, fill each glass (preferably a silver mint julep cup) 1/2 full with shaved ice. Insert a spring of mint and then pack in more ice to about 1-inch over the top of the cup. Then, insert a straw that has been cut to 1-inch above the top of the cup so the nose is forced close to the mint when sipping the julep.

When frost forms on the cup, pour the refrigerated julep mixture over the ice and add a sprinkle of powdered sugar to the top of the ice. Serve immediately.

New York Times coverage-

Post Time is 6:24 pm ET.

The Internationale

Arise ye workers from your slumbers

Arise ye prisoners of want

For reason in revolt now thunders

And at last ends the age of cant.

Away with all your superstitions

Servile masses arise, arise

We’ll change henceforth the old tradition

And spurn the dust to win the prize.

So comrades, come rally

And the last fight let us face

The Internationale unites the human race.

No more deluded by reaction

On tyrants only we’ll make war

The soldiers too will take strike action

They’ll break ranks and fight no more

And if those cannibals keep trying

To sacrifice us to their pride

They soon shall hear the bullets flying

We’ll shoot the generals on our own side.

So comrades, come rally

And the last fight let us face

The Internationale unites the human race.

No saviour from on high delivers

No faith have we in prince or peer

Our own right hand the chains must shiver

Chains of hatred, greed and fear

E’er the thieves will out with their booty

And give to all a happier lot.

Each at the forge must do their duty

And we’ll strike while the iron is hot.

So comrades, come rally

And the last fight let us face

The Internationale unites the human race.

A DocuDharma tradition.

Naturally Dyed Eggs

eggs
NATURALLY DYED EGGS

Now with updates!

Ham I Am

Boneless Ham

Slashed Ham with Crust a la Ma Mae

Saint Patrick’s Day Parade

Unlike many New York celebrations St. Patrick’s day remains true to its roots-

  • Find a Bar
  • Get puking drunk
  • Punch somebody

Fortunately queers get posted to the front like Bulls at Pamplona so that men in kilts going commando while wailing on sheep bladders generally avoid the riot.

Politicians walk alone so you can spit on them if you like, provided you have trained for range.

You should wear hip boots.

Update:

TheMomCat (who will be leading the commentary) suggests I include an Irish fighting song.

Danica Patrick’s Love Life: The Daytona 500

Faithful readers already know what I think about Turn Left.

In the Roman form of chariot racing, teams represented different groups of financial backers and sometimes competed for the services of particularly skilled drivers. These teams became the focus of intense support among spectators, and occasional disturbances broke out between followers of different factions. The conflicts sometimes became politicized, as the sport began to transcend the races themselves and started to affect society overall.

Those who have worn the crown should never survive its loss.  Purple makes a fine winding sheet.

It’s hard to blame the technology, the cars and tracks can hardly be safer than they are.  It’s high speed bumper cars and the rules that create an environment where you can take out 12 of them at a time; and though 33 were injured, some critically, nobody died… yet.

To me the sport’s biggest sin is that it’s boring.  BORING!

Yup, that’s right, more boring than having Vettel dive into the front and drive off into the distance with Mark Webber in tow.

And that’s because nothing matters until the last 5 laps except for the accidents.

You know, like the whole track falling apart.

So let’s talk instead about Danica Patrick’s love life.

Patrick Was Leading Way Even Before Winning Pole

By VIV BERNSTEIN, The New York Times

Published: February 18, 2013

On the first day that drivers arrived at Daytona International Speedway for Speedweeks, the Daytona 500 and the celebrated start of Nascar’s 2013 Sprint Cup season, the story making headlines was Danica Patrick’s romantic relationship with the driver Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.



Her relationship with Stenhouse, an up-and-coming driver who will also be a rookie in the Sprint Cup this season, has only served to intensify the interest in everything she does on and off the track.



“I don’t mind answering questions about the other stuff,” she added. “But I get that it’s not about racing. It’s nice to change the tone of the questions because of what’s going on, on the track. That is a really good sign, and I like that.”

Either way, it’s all good for Nascar. Patrick made the rounds of many of the major television talk shows Monday morning, giving the sport some much needed publicity. Nascar has had a drop in attendance and television ratings in recent years. The marketing game plan is to focus on drivers, and nobody does a better job of self-marketing than the 30-year-old Patrick.

“Driver star power is something we’re going to bang on from a marketing perspective in ’13 and in ’14, ’15, ’16,” said Steve Phelps, Nascar’s senior vice president and chief marketing officer. “It will all be about the drivers.



“Listen, she is a marketing phenomenon,” Phelps said. “I think putting her on the biggest stage that we have, the Sprint Cup, and have her run a full season, will only help her.”

He asked rhetorically: “Do I believe that she needs to win in order to continue that momentum that she has seen so far? I don’t. Would it add to it? Would it kind of plus-up the whole thing? I do.”

To be continued, as Patrick moves through the week and heads to the pole Sunday, with 500 miles in front of her and the remaining skeptics in the rear.

ek, are you implying that we’re living in the decadent final days of empire with bread and circuses to placate the proletariat?

Ahem, let me clear my throat.

WE ARE LIVING IN THE DECADENT FINAL DAYS OF EMPIRE WITH BREAD AND CIRCUSES TO PLACATE THE PROLETARIAT!!!

Enjoy the race, I’ll be back for the last 5 laps to see how things turned out.

The 137th Westminster Kennel Club Show: Day Two

Tonight’s event is the last of 2 days of judging and includes 3 Group Finals and Best in Show.

Last night’s results-

It is broadcast live on USA starting at 8 pm with a repeat at 8 am.

Some links-

One of two new breeds this year, the (Jack) Russell Terrier, makes it’s debut tonight in the Terrier Group.

The Group Finals tonight are-

Sporting
Brittany Setter (English) Spaniel (English Cocker)
Pointer Setter (Gordon) Spaniel (English Springer)
Pointer (German Shorthaired) Setter (Irish) Spaniel (Field)
Pointer (German Wirehaired) Setter (Irish Red and White) Spaniel (Irish Water)
Retriever (Chesapeake Bay) Spaniel (American Water) Spaniel (Sussex)
Retriever (Curly-Coated) Spaniel (Boykin) Spaniel (Welsh Springer)
Retriever (Flat-Coated) Spaniel (Clumber) Spinone Italiano
Retriever (Golden) Spaniel (Cocker) A.S.C.O.B. Vizsla
Retriever (Labrador) Spaniel (Cocker) Black Weimaraner
Retriever (Nova Scotia Duck Tolling) Spaniel (Cocker) Parti-Color Wirehaired Pointing Griffon
Working
Akita German Pinscher Newfoundland
Alaskan Malamute Giant Schnauzer Portuguese Water Dog
Anatolian Shepherd Dog Great Dane Rottweiler
Bernese Mountain Dog Great Pyrenees Samoyed
Black Russian Terrier Greater Swiss Mountain Dog Siberian Husky
Boxer Komondor St Bernard
Bullmastiff Kuvasz Standard Schnauzer
Cane Corso Leonberger Tibetan Mastiff
Doberman Pinscher Mastiff
Dogue de Bordeaux Neapolitan Mastiff
Terrier
Airedale Terrier Fox Terrier (Smooth) Norwich Terrier
American Staffordshire Terrier Fox Terrier (Wire) Parson Russell Terrier
Australian Terrier Glen of Imaal Terrier Russell Terrier
Bedlington Terrier Irish Terrier Scottish Terrier
Border Terrier Kerry Blue Terrier Sealyham Terrier
Bull Terrier (Colored) Lakeland Terrier Skye Terrier
Bull Terrier (White) Manchester Terrier (Standard) Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier
Cairn Terrier Miniature Bull Terrier Staffordshire Bull Terrier
Cesky Terrier (new for 2012) Miniature Schnauzer Welsh Terrier
Dandie Dinmont Terrier Norfolk Terrier West Highland White Terrier

The 137th Westminster Kennel Club Show: Day One

Paden doesn’t seem to care about anything, except he does. You just can never tell what it’s going to be. Let me tell you about your friend Paden. A long time ago, me, Paden, Tyree, and a couple of other fellas did a lot of riding together. On business, and business was pretty good. We moved around a lot, the way you have to in that line of work. Somewhere along the way, we picked up this dog. One of us took to feeding it, so it followed us everywhere. Well, one day we’re leaving this little Missouri town, in kind of a hurry with a bunch of the locals hot on our tail. Somehow this dog got tied up with Tyree’s horse. Tyree went flyin’. Well, Tyree was pretty mad when he got up, and, being Tyree, he shot the dog. Didn’t kill him, though. The next thing you know, Paden’s down off his horse, and he’s holdin’ this dog, sayin’ we should go on without him. I thought he was kidding, except he wasn’t. Tyree was ready to plug ’em both – all this with the posse ridin’ down on us. I thought we were pals after all that riding we did together. All of a sudden he’s worried about some mutt. Well, we did like he asked. We left him, and he went to jail for a dog. You want to hear the funny part? Paden didn’t even like that damn dog.

It evened out in the end. They locked me up; the dog sprung me.

Tonight’s event is the first of 2 days of judging.  It is broadcast live on CNBC starting at 8 pm with a repeat at 11 pm immediately following and again at 8 am on USA.  Tomorrow’s Groups which will be folowed by Best In Show on USA at 8 pm with a repeat at 8 am Wednesday.

Some links-

The Group Finals tonight are-

Hound
Afghan Hound Borzoi Otterhound
American English Coonhound Dachshund (Longhaired) Petits Bassets Griffons Vendeen
American Foxhound Dachshund (Smooth) Pharaoh Hound
Basenji Dachshund (Wirehaired) Plott
Basset Hound English Foxhound Redbone Coonhound
Beagle, 13 In. Greyhound Rhodesian Ridgeback
Beagle, 15 In. Harrier Saluki
Black and Tan Coonhound Ibizan Hound Scottish Deerhound
Bloodhound Irish Wolfhound * Treeing Walker Coonhound
Bluetick Coonhound Norwegian Elkhound Whippet
Toy
Affenpinscher Havanese Pomeranian
Brussels Griffon Italian Greyhound Poodle (Toy)
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel Japanese Chin Pug
Chihuahua (Long Coat) Maltese Shih Tzu
Chihuahua (Smooth Coat) Manchester Terrier (Toy) Silky Terrier
Chinese Crested Miniature Pinscher Toy Fox Terrier
English Toy Spaniel (B&PC) Papillon Yorkshire Terrier
English Toy Spaniel (KC&R) Pekingese
Non-Sporting
American Eskimo Dog Finnish Spitz Poodle (Standard)
Bichons Frise French Bulldog Schipperke
Boston Terrier Keeshond Shiba Inu
Bulldog Lhasa Apso Tibetan Spaniel
Chinese Shar-Pei Löwchen Tibetan Terrier
Chow Chow Norwegian Lundehund Xoloitzcuintli
Dalmatian Poodle (Miniature)
Herding
Australian Cattle Dog Briard Norwegian Buhund
Australian Shepherd Canaan Dog Old English Sheepdog
Bearded Collie Cardigan Welsh Corgi Pembroke Welsh Corgi
Beauceron Collie (Rough) Polish Lowland Sheepdog
Belgian Malinois Collie (Smooth) Puli
Belgian Sheepdog * Entlebucher Mountain Dog Pyrenean Shepherd
Belgian Tervuren * Finnish Lapphund Shetland Sheepdog
Border Collie German Shepherd Dog Swedish Vallhund
Bouviers des Flandres Icelandic Sheepdog

It gets worse: Throw up Bowl XLVII

Until about Monday this was a simple story- Art Modell and the Ravens == bad guys.  ‘9ers, storied franchise == good.

And the Ravens are.

It’s your typical tale of elite corporate greed with billionaires threatening to take away their yachts unless you build a new boat basin on the backs of the peons.

I even had a Les Mis clip to go with it.

Now the story is the homophobia of the ‘9ers

San Francisco 49ers’ Ahmad Brooks, Isaac Sopoaga Deny Participating In ‘It Gets Better’ Gay Youth Video

Huffington Post

Posted: 01/31/2013 5:20 pm EST

“This is America and if someone wants to be gay, they can be gay,” Brooks told the publication. “But I didn’t make any video.” Later, after he was reportedly shown the video on an iPhone, the player clarified, “Oh, that. It was an anti-bullying video, not a gay [rights] video.”

In San Francisco?  I know gay people (men and women) who will kick your ass!

Happy to do it myself.

The fact is that there is no larger and deeper heap of bigotry than Throwball and yes, I am including Turn Left Racing.

Not to mention the Drain Bamage-

Transcript

Will someone hold my hair?

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