Well the big Stars Hollow parade is over. We used to have two, one for the Fireman’s Carnival until they took the muddy ditch they used to stick it in across from the 3 Barbers I use to get my hair cut when Lydia, Emily’s stylist, is off watching her son compete in the Little League World Series and turned it into Condos that totally block the view of our only ‘Clear Channel’ billboard that masks the sight, headed South, of the Citgo Station and what used to be the the office of the best lawyer I know (best because he is the biggest asshole, my two other lawyers are RayRay who’s only flaw is he thinks he’s perfect and Jerry who never does any work himself but knows people).
Where was I?
Oh, the parade.
So anyway I marched since I was a wee Ojibway Indian Guide with hardly any feathers until I was a Euphonium toting second liner (first, they like to put the low brass up front for sonic punch and second, the 76 Trombones lead the big parade so the slides don’t knock you in the back- keep step and walk around the Horse shit).
I could talk about the gal who made the Connecticut Hurricane’s audition and had to race back to the start so she could play with them too (she convinced me my future was not Trumpet but a less stressful and competitive instrument, Leonard Falcone Himself pronouced me hopeless), but instead I’d like to focus your attention on a little prank I like to play.
I am in possesion of a number of Acme Thunderers, artifacts of a youth misspent lifeguarding (which is basically telling people they’re having too much fun and they should stop that).
However they are also used to order Chinese bayonet charges and call rolloff, which is the signal for the drummers to inform the band to get ready to play. 1, 2, 3, 4.
If you want to try this at home I suggest some simple scouting to decode the code. It’s easy now that you know what to listen for. Then you race to the block or two before your street and start the show (they have to do the roll off).
To me, in addition to being basically harmless, this has the added benefit of bringing the action home. Since I live a mere 2 blocks from the reviewing stand the band was always huffing and puffing past my position. Not anymore.
I wonder if my neighbors even realize. The Drum Major is constantly surprised, but it’s a new one every year.
Public service in action.
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