Formula One 2016: Shanghai

Like Swamp Castle the Shanghai Formula One circuit is built, literally, in a swamp. Large portions of the track and Grandstand are actually floating on large chunks of plastic foam (about 2 years worth of total Chinese production; though, this being a global economy, it’s not as if they had some Stalin-like command to build T-34s to the exclusion of all else, they simply went out and bought it. Even so a quarter of the world’s entire production of Polystyrene in 2003.).

This has made it about as reliable and stable as that floating dock you had to haul out every fall before the ice crushed it to kindling (hey, I’m a child of privilege, I know how to ski and golf too).

In fact some sections (Turn 1 Grandstand) have fallen over, burnt down, and then sunk into the swamp. Someday lad, all this will be yours. C’mon, she has vast tracts of land. No singing.

In the mean time it’s hardly a surprise that it rained just before Qualifying and the floating section of the front straight still had 2 rivers flowing across the sections that were a little waterlogged when an adventurous Manor car hit it on SuperSofts and then, of course, the wall.

Oops.

Another oops was Hamilton who also starts from the back row after a gearbox change and an electrical failure that took him out in the first round. Don’t weep for Mercedes, Rosberg starts from the Front Row next to Ricciardo’s Red Bull and then the usual brace of Ferraris.

There have been a raft (another object that floats on Polystyrene) of electrical failures, mostly manifested as brake fires and blowouts since with the introduction of KERS it’s no longer mechanical and is instead by wire. Pirelli has not helped because it has insisted on unusually high tire pressures which reduce grip and increase heat. On offer are the same old Mediums, Softs, and SuperSofts.

About the only victory for the racing proletariat (that would be drivers and fans) so far is that we seem to have permanently ditched the confusing and ill-begotten Qualifying format for the more traditional 2015 system. The drivers had a celebratory dinner where the check was split 18 ways. Some insist that the reigning World Champion usually picks up the tab but Hamilton insists it was Rosberg’s idea (democratic don’t you know).

And serves you right, you skinflint, for ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.

The current bone of contention is the radio transmissions which smart teams are already starting to game with track boards (remind me to talk to you about tradecraft someday) and which is fundamentally as enforceable as signs in Baseball.

Oh, and Alonso is back. Good for him.