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Dec 31 2016

Odds or Onions Challenge XXII

Can you pick The Onion without hovering your mouse over the links?

Not much of a challenge really, but if you just looked at the headlines you’d have an easy 50 / 50 shot at being wrong.

 
Santa Claus is back on Facebook after proving his identity

FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Santa Claus’ Facebook account has been reinstated after the social media company suspended his access and demanded proof of identity on Christmas Day.

Claus, a North Pole city councilman, said he was never given a reason why his page was blocked. He said he thought Facebook didn’t believe his name was Santa Claus or that he lived in North Pole.

A Facebook spokeswoman apologized in an email Tuesday for suspending Claus’ account and said it was done by mistake.

“The account was removed in error and restored as soon as we were able to investigate,” the company said in a statement. “Our team processes millions of reports each week, and we sometimes get things wrong.”

To get his account reinstated, Claus said he sent multiple documents proving his identity, including copies of his Alaska driver’s license and letter of appointment to the North Pole City Council. Claud said he is the only Santa Claus on Facebook who resides in the city and legally goes by the name.

“I just can’t believe somebody, particularly on Christmas, would take me to task,” he said.

Claus, who goes on his Facebook page regularly, said he uses the social media platform to share “nice quotes” and interact with people. His page has more than 300,000 “likes.”

 
Study: Majority Of New Marine Life Species Now Discovered While Cleaning Oil Spills

WOODS HOLE, MA—Saying such periodic events have vastly expanded the scientific community’s understanding of oceanic biodiversity, a study released this week by the Woods Hole Marine Biological Laboratory determined that a significant majority of new marine species are now discovered while cleaning oil spills.

“After surveying thousands of scientific papers, our team determined that 68 percent of all aquatic birds, fish, marine reptiles, mollusks, and corals discovered over the past 50 years were first identified and cataloged after volunteers painstakingly cleaned the thick, heavy coating of crude oil from them using a toothbrush and noticed their markings and morphology were unlike anything on record,” said researcher Sandra Schultz, who confirmed that over 5,000 species previously unknown to science have been identified in the Gulf of Mexico alone since 2010.

“In fact, the average trash bag that a cleanup worker uses to collect the sludge-coated remains of animals that wash ashore typically contains at least one entirely new subspecies of shorebird, sea turtle, or crustacean.

Once all the tar is fully removed from the animals’ skin, eyes, and lungs, they become prized specimens for study.” Schultz noted, however, that most of the new species that are discovered amid vast oil slicks are concurrently found to be extinct.