Formula One 2017: Circuit de Monte Carlo

I actually hate this race more than any of the others. Sure it’s historic and not a piece of straight track to be found, lots of elevation change, pretty scenery. That said it’s so narrow that passing is practically impossible and finishes are usually decided by Qualifying and wrecks. The situation is not helped by the fact that this year’s cars are HUGE and throw out a ton of turbulence.

It’s also slow. On offer will be the 3 softest compounds- Ultra Soft, SuperSoft, and Soft and any one of them would carry you the whole race if regulations didn’t make you switch.

Lewis Hamilton Qualified a disappointing 14th, behind even Jensen Button, his former team mate, who is back for a cameo after retiring last year replacing Fernando Alonso who will be running the Indianapolis 500 later today from the same Pole position, 9th.

If you are a fan of Scuderia Marlboro this is your weekend to celebrate as they have locked up the front row though Vettel (a total asshole) must be pissed that Raikkonen (a Finn and therefore possessing no particular personality) has the Pole. Bottas (another Finn) is carrying the flag for Mercedes barring a miraculous start by Hamilton (he’s done it before, though not as often as he’s blown it) and then we have the Red Bulls which show no signs of challenging this year.

Yawn. Other than that it’s the normal display of greed and celebrity, meaning of course the blockbuster benchmark by which all others are measured. It’s Monaco. The Côte d’Azur is lovely and I totally envy the Top Gear guys who got to run the course at speed when it was empty. Looks like a fun drive.

Pre-race and race on NBC. Unfortunately it will only delay and not pre-empt Chuck Todd, pre-race at 7:30 am ET, race at 8:00 am ET.

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  1. Vent Hole

  2. Half Hour of Hype.

  3. Formation Lap

  4. Button got a 15 Grid penalty and will start from the pits. Everybody under 9th moves up.

  5. We race

  6. Lap 5 of 72

    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Perez
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Hulkenberg

  7. Lap 10 of 72

    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Perez
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Hulkenberg

  8. 5 Second for Wehrlein for unsafe release

  9. Lap 15 of 72

    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Perez
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Kvyat

  10. Perez pits. Hulkenberg stops, gearbox.

  11. Lap 20 of 72

    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Kvyat
    Hamilton

  12. Lap 25 of 72

    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Kvyat
    Hamilton

  13. Lap 30 of 72

    Raikkonen
    Vettel
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Ricciardo
    Sainz
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Kvyat
    Hamilton

  14. Verstappen pits

  15. Bottas and Raikkonen pit

  16. Lap 35 of 72

    Vettel
    Ricciardo
    Raikkonen
    Sainz
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Grosjean
    Magnussen
    Kvyat
    Hamilton

  17. Ericsson and Kvyat pit

  18. Ocon pits

  19. Sainz and Magnussen pit

  20. Ricciardo pits

  21. Massa pits

  22. Vettel pits

  23. Ocon pits again. Flat.

  24. Grosjean pits

  25. Lap 40 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Hamilton
    VanDoorne
    Sainz
    Grosjean
    Magnussen

  26. Peach pits

  27. Magnussen and Palmer pit

  28. VanDoorne pits

  29. Avocado pits

  30. Lap 45 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Hamilton
    Sainz
    Grosjean
    Kvyat
    Van Doorne

  31. Hamilton pits

  32. Lap 50 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Sainz
    Hamilton
    Grosjean
    Kvyat
    Van Doorne

  33. Lap 55 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Sainz
    Hamilton
    Grosjean
    Kvyat
    Van Doorne

  34. Lap 60 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Sainz
    Hamilton
    Grosjean
    Kvyat
    Van Doorne

  35. Safety Car

  36. Button and Werhlein stop

  37. Ocon pits again

  38. Werhlein booted on side against wall by Button

  39. Massa pits again

  40. Perez pits

  41. Ericsson stops

  42. Lap 65 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Sainz
    Hamilton
    Grosjean
    Kvyat
    Van Doorne

  43. Safety Car in.

  44. Van Doorne parks

  45. Stroll pits

  46. Lap 70 of 72

    Vettel
    Raikkonen
    Ricciardo
    Bottas
    Verstappen
    Sainz
    Hamilton
    Grosjean
    Kvyat
    Perez

  47. Kvyat stop. Perez pits.

  48. Stroll pits again

  49. Oops. 78 Laps.

    Shit.

  50. Stroll stops

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