I’ve never liked Creed.

Arms Wide Open

Now I have a reason.

Apparently, one of their friends met Scott Stapp (who, because I find no problem with conflation, will for the rest of the story be referred to as “Creed”) at an airport bar and the girl pretended to be interested. At the end of their conversation, he asked for her number and because she was going to Amsterdam, she gave Creed her friend’s number instead. The girl then calls her friend and warns her that Creed might be calling her sometime in the future for a hook-up.

Which he does. Friday night. He flew into Orlando and gave the girl a call. The girl, thrilled at the prospect of making Creed look like an idiot, plays along. “You should drive up to Gainesville tonight to see me!” she says. Creed, because his star has fallen quite a bit recently (if you hadn’t noticed) eagerly accepts the offer to drive 2 hours to get some pussy. I guess the groupies aren’t lining up outside the airport like they used to.

I heard through the grapevine that night that Creed had actually kicked Scott Stapp out of their band. I don’t know if this is true or not as no one on the Internet has any stories about it. But I googled him recently and found out that his solo career isn’t taking off nearly like he expected, despite being the first released single off the Passion of the Christ Songs CD– songs inspired by the movie. Mel Gibson hand picked him for a special screening, and he wrote a song after he was so personally affected by the movie. Douche.

Anyway, so the guy who was so spiritually affected by The Passion of the Christ is now hightailing it to Gainesville to tag a piece of ass he met in an airport bar. And he’s having his ghettotastic hootchie skanky Jersey girl sleaze of a sister drive him. Yes, Creed is making his sister drive him to the Gainesville Denny’s for a booty call.

So this group from the party makes it over to Denny’s, strategically choosing places all around the Denny’s so that we can watch what goes down. It’s 3am on a Friday, so of course the place is packed with drunk kids getting out of the bars, who have no idea what they’re about to be in for. Jeanine, Heather, and I all have prime seating– we’re directly next to the booth with the girl who has been talking to Creed, as well as her 5 friends who are all in on the joke and have been planning extra embarrassing things to do to him.

…

And the best part is watching the other people as they notice who this guy is. “Hey, that’s the Creed guy!” they all say as he walks past them. Then, 5 seconds later and as soon as he’s out of earshot: “Wait, who cares? Creed sucks!” This is seriously the reaction of every table that I hear as he walks by.

…

To keep him there as long as possible, groups of girls keep going over to him and flirting and trying to find out what he’s doing in Gainesville. Cast arm boy even printed out Scott Stapp’s headshot and goes over to ask him to sign it. You’d think that would be an obvious sign that he was being tricked, but apparently Creed is cocky enough to think that people regularly carry around his photograph everywhere like it’s an American Express card.

Jeanine, perfect brilliant girl she is, ran over to the juke box to see if it happened to have a Creed song on it. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Or maybe fortunately. For if “Arms Wide Open” began playing as he was running around the Denny’s, I probably would’ve soiled myself laughing.

And now as Paul Harvey says, for the rest of the story-

1. He met my friend in an airport bar IN Orlando. He was kicked out of the bar for drinking too much and later kicked off of his plane for being disorderly. He, being completely self absorbed, didn’t stop to think that the girl he met in the airport bar might, just might, have boarded a plane already. When he called my cell phone, thinking it was her, he couldn’t understand why “she” was not still in Orlando. That’s where the fun began.

2. He did not leave after being punk’d at Denny’s. It was not until the following morning did he realize he had been tricked. He made me and my friend drive him to where the girl supposedly lived to look for her (his ego was hurt THAT badly.)

3. Someone followed us from Denny’s (an ACTUAL fan of his) and Scott had him make purchase of some cocaine for him. I, thinking I could rob him, invited him back up to my apartment. His sister got a hotel room after being angry all night…apparently she was much smarter than he. All I got the chance to take was his boarding pass from his Miami to Orlando flight, some of his klonopin, three copies of checks his girlfriend had written from his account -2 for plastic surgery centers in South Florida and one for their Cingular Wireless account, and a song book he had scribbled some instrumental instructions in.

He ended up staying up all night doing coke, making up listening to his fucking HORRIBLE cd, and walking around in his underware claiming that coke makes him “so horny”.

Safety Dance

You can dance if you want to.

Crossposted from DocuDharma

Questions

Jay Ackroyd, Eschaton

Saturday, September 29, 2012

What would it take to get you to bail on the pres. line on your ballot?  What could Team Dem line up on that would lead you to say “Fuck, no!”? I’d say something like reproductive rights, but the Senate Majority Leader is anti-choice.

I can’t say anything related to “national security” because “Yay! Dead bin Laden” and the only people  the drones kill are terrorists, and no, we’re not gonna tell you who we killed because the fact we killed them is doubledownsecret, so STFU and get in line.

All we got is the New Deal social insurance systems, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid (which is the backstop when they cash out your house to pay for the nursing home) and Unemployment Insurance. So maybe a good question to ask your elected officials running for office is whether reduction in these programs is off the table–despite Bowles-Simpson, and Dancin’ Dave slavering after “pain.”

The Village Fix in in on Cutting Medicare

thereisnospoon, Hullabaloo

9/29/2012 07:30:00 AM

Do most voters really “understand” that we’re going to be cutting Medicare? Or has the Village decided that we’re going to cut Medicare, and that it’s going to happen no matter what the American people actually want?

…

To continue funding corporate welfare, wasteful wars and tax cuts for the obscenely wealthy while telling voters that Grandma should eat cat food is insane and immoral.

But second, Fineman is disastrously wrong on the politics. For a Democrat to cut Medicare would be politically disastrous.

If the Congress and the President take up Simpson-Bowles during the lame duck session or the new year and enact minor tip money tax increases for the wealthy in exchange for cuts to the most vulnerable, a majority of Republicans will oppose the deal. Democrats will be left holding the bag, insisting on being the “bipartisan adults in the room.”

Voters will hate the deal. Republicans will run successfully against Democrats for the next twenty years, accusing us of cutting Medicare and raising taxes. And when Republicans easily win that argument and gain Executive and Legislative power, President Christie and Speaker Ryan will voucherize Medicare, restore the funding for current seniors, and act as the cavalry riding to America’s and Medicare’s rescue.

The Village Consensus is awful, immoral policy. It’s also suicidal politics. And Howard Fineman and friends appear to be walking into it with open eyes and open arms.

But I’m still voting for the lesser evil!  What choice do I have?

As long as you think that way, none at all.

Electoral victory my ass.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Kind of in keeping with On This Day In History.  People will dance to this, but only on Halloween.  Don’t know why, it’s a song about a spy.

Twilight Zone

Crossposted from DocuDharma

Tar Sands Blockade: Why are they so frightened of us? (#NoKXL)

By: Benjamin Franklin, Firedog Lake

Monday October 1, 2012 8:49 am

When I remember what happened, I remember the beauty first. The blue sky, the soaring hawk, the oak sapling mangled by the backhoe we’d stopped. That oak was very inspirational to us as we awaited our fate. By surviving TransCanada’s clear-cutting, it symbolized our own plans to weather the forces marshalled against us.

It was Tuesday, September the 25th. I was anchored to the back of heavy machinery with someone I’d just met. We’d both travelled to East Texas to help derail TransCanada’s massive tar sands pipeline. Climate change is a global problem, but this terribly destructive project was coming right to our backyard; how could I sit idly by?

…

It started with the arrival of TransCanada’s senior supervisor. The regular employees became scarce as the supervisor called for a huddle with the police. The huddle broke and a phalanx of officers marched on us to announce that we were under arrest. Failing to unlock immediately was resisting, which would result in additional charges and justify the officers’ use of “pain compliance.” I suppose TransCanada had grown tired of waiting.

They started like schoolyard bullies – taunting us while twisting my arm behind me, and jumping on my back to put me in a choke hold. The lieutenant asked, “Is your goal just to go to jail? You can go to jail without the pain; it’s your stubbornness that’s making us do this.” I had to stop myself from replying, “I wish this cup would pass me by.” I didn’t say it because I was sure they would misinterpret it as blasphemously casting myself as Jesus, but I meant it; I wished there was another way to accomplish our goals. I wasn’t looking forward to what my time with the ACLU led me to expect they would do to us. But I don’t believe in giving in to terrorism; to follow one’s moral compass in spite of extreme challenges is the way we move forward.

…

A taser is sold as a weapon-tool for halting controlled motion: to make someone stop. While the torture device was on, I was able to remain standing and silent, but the pain was intense. I could not have gathered the concentration required to detach the carabiner even if the pipe hadn’t twisted it out of my grasp.

I had a few seconds to clear my head, then he switched to my upper left arm – the arm where they had handcuffed me. It’s hard to describe. The world was pain, and I repeated Valerie’s quote from V for Vendetta to myself as I heard the lieutenant speculate to the TransCanada supervisor that my fat was insulating me, making it harder for the taser to “bite into the meat,” which is why it wasn’t hurting me as much as they were hoping. The pain was fluid, and by the fifth second, my left pectoral muscle was tingling. But like all things, it passed. The pain, like the fear, washed through. The taunting, however, continued.

The officers informed us that I was too “mule-headed” to be chivalrous and spare Rain pain I had just experienced. When they moved on to torture Rain, the young Wood County deputy who had been selected to taser her was reluctant. He asked if he really had to; he interrupted his count to ask if she was sure she wouldn’t let go.

…

As soon as we were fully in custody, the TransCanada supervisor thanked the Wood County lieutenant for “a job well done.” The lieutenant’s reply? “If this happens again, we’ll just skip to using pepper spray and tasing in the first 10 minutes.”

TransCanada Urges Texas Police to Use "Aggressive Pain Compliance Tactics&quot on Keystone XL Blockaders

By: Jane Hamsher, Firedog Lake

Wednesday September 26, 2012 1:23 pm

I spoke with Sprague today about the use of physical force against two protesters, Shannon Bebe and Benjamin Franklin, who handcuffed themselves to equipment being used to cut down trees so that the southern leg of the Keystone XL Pipeline could be built.

According to Sprague, Bebe and Franklin began their peaceful protest yesterday at 10:30 am, along with several observers.  Sprague indicated that the group’s interactions with the police had been amicable and peaceful until TransCandada representatives showed up and encouraged the police to “run off” the observers.

Once there were no cameras in sight, Sprague says that TransCanada officials huddled with police.  Shortly thereafter, the police commenced putting Bebe and Franklin in stress positions by bending their free arms backwards as far as possible and twisting their handcuffed hands backwards, and holding them there for 10 minutes.

…

Police then tasered both Bebe and Franklin.  Franklin was tased a second time, and the two relented when police threatened to keep tasering them until they did so.  Sprague said that because of a heart condition, one of the protesters feared for their life.  Franklin described the pain as “immense and almost physically unbearable.”

…

There is no way to classify the use of such tactics against people who cannot defend themselves other than torture.  Which the protesters indicate was carried out, by the police, and the specific request of TransCanada.

I do not have the words to fully express my admiration for what Franklin and Bebe were willing to do in order to stop this pipeline from being (literally) railroaded through the country, against the will of its citizens – especially those whose lands are being seized.  They are true heroes and their courage and conviction are inspirational.

Keystone XL Body Blockaders Need Help

By: Jane Hamsher, Firedog Lake

Wednesday September 26, 2012 7:49 am

Activists climbed 80 feet to set up “Tree Village” and locked themselves to critical machinery directly in the path of the planned oil pipeline. They have pledged to stay there until construction has stopped once and for all, but living in a tree or chained to machinery, exposed to the elements, is no easy task.

Work on the Keystone XL pipeline can’t continue until the Blockaders have been removed, so Firedoglake is sending supplies to help demonstrators stay in the way for as long as possible.

TransCanada Tarsands Blockade Call Reports

By: Jane Hamsher, Firedog Lake

Thursday September 27, 2012 12:16 pm

Today we launched calls into TransCanada’s offices protesting the treatment of Tarsands Blockade activists, who report they were tortured by police after a huddle with TransCanda representatives.

You can sign the petition demanding TransCanada CEO Russell Girling denounce the torture of the Keystone XL Blockaders.

…

Then call TransCanada’s corporate offices to demand immediate action.

I haven’t DJed much since I started blogging, in fact well before.  It was always mostly a way to politic and show off and once I became capo di tutti that motivation faded.

But I’ve always used borrowed equipment and libraries.  My actual first gig as a DJ was as a volunteer at a party back in the days when I was too shy to do much except stand near the food table and feign fascinated interest in the contents.  My first platter (they say you never forget) was Eddy Grant’s Electric Avenue on 45 which I’d spin for you except people actually danced.

So I was hooked.

Since then I’ve played any number of tracks that sincerely puzzled my audience but what’s important is they made sense to me.  If I were still doing the DJ thing you might expect to hear something like this whether it emptied the floor or not.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Some people don’t recognize themselves in a mirror.  Me?  I don’t own one.

Johnson: Presidential Politics Trumps Jets’ Fate

By LYNN ZINSER, The New York Times

October 1, 2012, 2:34 pm

(Jets owner Woody) Johnson, in a statement likely to irk Jets fans unhappy with the team’s 2-2 start, said: “Well, I think so you always have to put country first, so I think it’s very, very important, not only for us but for particularly our kids and grandkids, that this election come off with Mitt Romney and Ryan as president and vice president.”

…

In that statement, Johnson stepped back from throwing more fuel on a debate he has played a role in fanning in the past. While at the Republican National Convention, Johnson said in an interview with CNBC that, “I think you can never have too much Tebow,” despite Sanchez being acknowledged as the starter and the team trying to keep a quarterback controversy from breaking out with every Sanchez incompletion.

Colin Kaepernick of 49ers beats Jets’ Tim Tebow at his own game

By Matt Wilhalme, Los Angeles Times

October 1, 2012, 1:02 p.m.

Colin Kaepernick, the San Francisco 49ers backup quarterback, had the best game of his career in the team’s 34-0 blowout of the Jets, and looked more like how New York Jets fans might have envisioned Tim Tebow would be after their team traded with the Denver Broncos for him.

On five carries he rushed for 50 yards and scored on a 7-yard touchdown run from the wildcat in what would be the game-winning score in the second quarter.

Kaepernick’s only pass attempt of the day was an incompletion.

…

Tebow, on the other hand, connected with Dedrick Epps for a 9-yard pass — his first completion of the season — who subsequently fumbled the ball to the 49ers.

Tebow’s two rushing attempts of the day went for a combined total of 0 yards.

Heh.

Bank of America Settles Suit Over Merrill for $2.43 Billion

By JESSICA SILVER-GREENBERG and SUSANNE CRAIG, The New York Times

September 28, 2012, 8:49 am

The settlement, however, may undermine a battle between the New York attorney general and the bank. In 2010, Andrew M. Cuomo, New York’s attorney general at the time, sued Kenneth D. Lewis, the bank’s former chief executive, and Bank of America, contending that the bank and its executives hid from shareholders billions of dollars in losses at Merrill, later causing Bank of America to need a bailout from Washington.

The case, which now falls to Eric T. Schneiderman, could lose much of its steam. Under a decision by New York’s highest court, the attorney general can recover losses on behalf of shareholders. Once the shareholders settle, though, Mr. Schneiderman’s office can expect to obtain little more than a penalty, according to people briefed on the matter. The attorney general’s office declined to comment.

…

It is unclear how much relief the shareholders – those who owned Bank of America shares or call options from September 2008 to January 2009 – will receive. A chunk of the settlement amount will go to the plaintiffs’ lawyers, who are expected to ask the court for $150 million in fees. Bank of America will use its litigation reserves and litigation expenses to cover the settlement, saying that it and other legal expenses cost it $1.6 billion.

The bank also said on Friday that it had agreed to adopt a “say on pay” shareholder vote, an independent compensation committee of the board and policies for committees focused on acquisitions, among other corporate governance changes.

Despite the legal woes, the Merrill Lynch business has helped bolster Bank of America, contributing roughly half the bank’s revenue since 2009, according to bank analysts.

The Countrywide acquisition has proved to be a bigger albatross for Bank of America. The purchase effectively saddled Bank of America with hundreds of thousands of homeowners struggling to keep up with their mortgage payments.

The bank has spent billions of dollars to defend lawsuits related to Countrywide’s mortgage business. In the second quarter of 2011, for example, the bank reported an $8.8 billion loss, mainly related to a settlement with mortgage investors.

Earlier this year, Bank of America and four other banks agreed to a $26 billion settlement related to their foreclosure practices. That deal evolved from an investigation of the mortgage servicing practices by state attorneys general that was begun in 2010 amid mounting fury over revelations that banks evicted homeowners from their residences with false or incomplete documentation.

Bank of America’s Cascade of Settlement Payoffs Continue

By: David Dayen, Firedog Lake

Saturday September 29, 2012 11:30 am

This was outright securities fraud, and I’m more than surprised that the investors plaintiffs, led by public pension funds in Ohio and Texas, accepted this. BofA clearly withheld information from their shareholders that caused a material loss; the stock is down 2/3 since the Merrill deal, even while the bank returned to profitability (though not this quarter, as we’ll see). But the investors had little leverage. The SEC should have been all over this, but they settled over the acquisition in 2009, in a settlement so bad that the judge made them rework it. In the end, the SEC got just $150 million for their settlement, and the fact that the investors got 16 times as much should truly embarrass them.

Incidentally, Ken Lewis was specifically sued in this case and would have been personally liable for withholding information, but BofA will cover his costs in the settlement, so he won’t have to pay a dime.

This is just the latest in a long line of settlements BofA has managed to negotiate over a string of fraudulent and abusive activity since 2009. In all, BofA has paid out over $29 billion, including the $11.8 billion in cash penalties and “credits” from the foreclosure fraud settlement. The other big number included in that, the $8.5 billion settlement with mortgage backed securities holders for repurchases, hasn’t been finalized yet. But it’s clear that Bank of America has become a waystation for abused parties to take out settlement money, rather than a lender allocating capital efficiently. And of course, given the inadequacy of these settlements, the real cost of Bank of America’s practices in the economy are much, much higher.

In fact, between this settlement, some tax charges and litigation expenses (none of that $29 billion includes legal fees), BofA expects to book a loss for the third quarter, years after the end of the financial crisis. While Merrill Lynch at least provided investment banking revenue, that acquisition and the Countrywide acquisition have been extremely problematic for the bank. Countrywide in particular has been the main cause for a loss in BofA’s mortgage business of $35 billion.

If it weren’t for a massive sell-off of assets and a government lifeline, there would not be a Bank of America today. And policymakers should ask themselves why they propped up a zombie bank so it could pay off its legal exposure and not much else.

Sort of a tradition.

You see, they moved it on me, used to be Memorial Day weekend every year.   But I suppose we’re lucky to have it at all and this year it’s the final Grand-Am race of the season.

Lime Rock Park is the only race I’ve actually been to, as opposed to watching it on TV.  It’s interesting in a couple of respects.

First of all Lime Rock really is a park.  Lakeville is the back end of beyond, many solid miles of 2 lane distant from the highway.  There are a few buildings and a bridge to the infield and that’s it.  Spectators bring a cooler and a blanket and sit on the ground under the trees, some even camp out for the weekend so there are little tents all over the place.  When my Dad and my brother and I went we hung out on ‘the hill’ where you can see the first 4 turns and most of the main straight.

The other thing you notice about it is it’s extremely narrow and it’s hard to imagine any passing goes on, although it happens all the time.

Which brings me to the second interesting thing about Lime Rock, these are Sports Cars and there are 4 different classes of them running on track at the same time with varying speeds (which can make it confusing to watch).

The exotic looking and fastest ones are ‘prototype’ cars and come in 2 flavors, enclosed and open cockpit.  They generally have a seat for a navigator/mechanic (though it’s mostly an anachronism).

Then there are 2 classes of ‘touring (production)’ cars, Corvettes and everyone else.  They look like Porsches and Audis and BMWs and Corvettes (surprise) but they’re not generally street legal.  The touring cars are 20 or 30 miles an hour slower than the prototypes so when I say passing all the time I mean ALL the time, they’re kind of like rolling road blocks.

Speaking of road, as much racing takes place off it as on it and the only penalty is tearing up your undercarriage.  There is also a tendency to spend a lot of time figuring out which direction you are pointing after your last spin.  While there are a lot of bumps and offs surprisingly few of them are race ending.

For a Sports Car race Lime Rock is mercifully short.  The name races- LeMans, Daytona, Sebring are endurance races with several driver changes, to say nothing of tires and fuel.  It’s not uncommon for a badly damaged car to spend several hours in the pits and come back to race competitively, victory margins are measured in hours and minutes rather than seconds.

They don’t race on Sunday because the neighbors complain, but when people talk about Memorial Day being the busiest weekend in motor sports they’re generally including Lime Rock whether they know it or not.

Some minor updates.  There are now only 2 classes, Daytona Prototype (DP) and Grand Touring (GT).  Corvette will be duking it out with Maranello and BMW in the DP.

This will be Mazda’s final GT race using RX-8s.  I must admit they are a family favorite and I’ve driven a number of them far too fast.  People say the Wankel is not particularly ‘green’ but it produces so much power for the weight (it’s essentially a two stroke combustion cycle) that you can put a lot of enhancements on it and use very little fuel or displacement for a given level of performance.  ‘Stock’ cars are de-tuned so they only go 140 mph in the show room parking lot (need to check those rear end stress factors).

Coverage on Speed starts at 3 pm ET.  The Super Tuner title was decided yesterday and will be broadcast on Speed October 13 at 2 pm.

• Speed’s Grand Am page

noun

1. an organism that lives on or in an organism of another species, known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.
2. a person who receives support, advantage, or the like, from another or others without giving any useful or proper return, as one who lives on the hospitality of others.
3. (in ancient Greece) a person who received free meals in return for amusing or impudent conversation, flattering remarks, etc.