With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan~

Optional Musical Accompaniment To This Post

Bot:

I am the very model of a pro-Obama partisan

Pragmatic in appeasement I really am a Vichy Dem!

I know all of the talking points I’m not afraid of spouting them

from deficit to HCR no arguments abouting them

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters electorial

Use of information anecdotal and historical

Call me out on this and I will swiftly hand you snottiness

And overwhelm you with my very botti botti bottiness!

All:

And overwhelm you with his very botti botti bottiness

And overwhelm you with his very botti botti bottiness

And overwhelm you with his very botti botti botti bottiness!

Bot:

I’m awfully good at spin, I do insist on positivity

The plan, the facts be damned – I order you to go GOTV

In short, it matters not the issues or just where he stands on them

I am the very model of a pro-Obama partisan!

All:

In short, it matters not the issues or just where he stands on them

He is the very model of a pro-Obama partisan!

Bot:

The proper way to speak of him is always deferential

Those who come to praise him get the treatment preferential

My diaries range in scope from peppy rally to pictorial

Your comments welcome, but policed by those with rules dictorial

I’ll say that I’m a liberal while I act authoritarian

I claim the voice of reason while I speak like a contrarian

I shout down all debate with snide remarks about maturity

Take note of your ideals and thank you kindly for your purity!

All:

Take note of your ideals and thank you kindly for your purity

Take note of your ideals and thank you kindly for your purity

Take note of your ideals and thank you kindly for your purity!

Bot:

I can derail a thread with questions-mostly disingenuous

I do the verbal do-si-do with logic leaps most strenuous

In short, it matters not the issues or just where he stands on them

I am the very model of a pro-Obama partisan!

All:

In short, it matters not the issues or just where he stands on them

He is the very model of a pro-Obama partisan!

Bot:

In fact there is no act that I cannot quickly rat-ion-al-ize

No point I can’t dismiss or instantly infantilize

Here I say we must unite! to clear firebaggers from this place

Get in line, clap harder, now! or you never were “the base”

When I have learnt what progress has been made in dem blog politics

When I know more of tactics than a bunch of rapid response dicks

In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy

You’ll find no better pro-Obama bot that’s bottier than me!

All:

You’ll find no better pro-Obama bot that’s bottier than he

You’ll find no better pro-Obama bot that’s bottier than he

You’ll find no better pro-Obama bot that’s botty bottier than he!

Bot:

For my loyalty to man above both party and society

Blind faith up to the point where one must question my sobriety

And still it matters not the issues or just where he stands on them

I am the very model of a pro-Obama partisan!

All:

And still it matters not the issues or just where he stands on them

He is the very model of a pro-Obama partisan!

With apologies to no one, but I borrowed the tune from The Plain White Tees.

Hey There Obama

hey there Obama

what’s it like there in that bubble

yeah, I hate to spoil the party

but here on main street

we’re in trouble

yes it’s true

not that it matters much to you

what else is new

hey there Obama

sorry wisdom from a cynic

I’m still here with no insurance

and two hours from a clinic

save your spin

you’ve got an ear that’s made of tin

that’s not a win

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

what’d you do for me

hey there Obama

you know times are getting hard

but just believe me, man

that tax cuts create jobs is a canard

but..way to go

your corporate buddies love you so

I think you know

hey there Obama

I’ve got more advice to give

if ever one word that I wrote you

would only hit you where you live

I’d write some more

instead of showing you the door

you’re such a bore

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

you don’t care what our problems are

we’ve lost our homes, our jobs, our cars

a farce of the audacity of hope

and you can take that “yes we can”

and stuff it-hey, just fuck you, man.

here, take this empty “donate” envelope

Obama your words don’t ring true

I have had enough of you

our world will never ever be the same

and you’re to blame

hey there Obama

you’ll be fine and you won’t miss me

that the other guys are worse inspires

your campaign will make more history like ya do

no one fires up the base like you

too bad it’s nothing good or true

hey there Obama here’s to you

this one’s for you

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

oh but what’d you do for me

what’d you do for me

Crossposted at The Free Speech Zone

Sing along!