Tag: TV

Nov 23 2010

Prime Time

Well, you can watch Bristol Palin.  Other Premiers.  American Masters, Lennon NYC.

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

Later-

Dave hosts Natalie Portman and Jay Pharoah.  Jon and Stephen are in repeats, 10/27 and 11/10.  Alton has Π, Pumpkin and Apple.  Conan hosts Zachary Levi and Christina Aguilera.

Boondocks– The Story of Catcher Freeman

A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don’t do one.

Nov 22 2010

Prime Time

Amazing Race.  Giants @ Eagles (I undestand my local team is in a sporting contest).  New Simpsons, Cleveland, Family Guy, American Dad.  More premiers.  Awards (ugh).

71 – 51 over Georgia Tech.  81 and counting.

Later-

Fourth Season Finale of The Venture Brothers, 1 hour special Operation P.R.O.M.

This season’s summaries-

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

Nov 21 2010

Dancing with the Stars

Were I inclined to view things as a zero sum game between Republicans and Democrats instead of a tri-cornered contest between those who care about the soul of America, corporatist lickspittle lackeys, and batshit insane racist radicals, I’d take more schadenfreude glee over the demise of Dancing with the Stars than I do.

Not because I think any reality show is anything but an excuse to put up the cheapest and most exploitative programming possible, although Dancing is a little more athletic than some, but because it’s a prime public example of freepers doing what they do best which is stealing elections.

You know, Freeping.

If you don’t know the backstory Bristol Palin is a horrible dancer, really, really bad.  She has survived to the finals despite clearly being the worst in every evaluation of the judges only because of the jackbooted thuggery of Mama Grizzly’s stormtrooper keypad commandos.

I fully expect her to win.

This doesn’t bother me as much as others because it’s all kind of silly in any event, but in case you care about ‘artistic integrity’ I thought I might let you know.

The ongoing, albeit amusing, battle to save Bristol

Amanda Marcotte on 11/17 02:44 PM

I’ve rarely seen such a clean-cut example of the conservative tendency to say up is down and black is white.  Or, more precisely, to bemoan how oppressed white, rich, and highly privileged people are.  First of all, has the poor girl in school ever won Prom Queen?  Was that in some 80s movie somewhere?  As someone actually in the dork caste in my high school, I can assure you that the boundaries of who got those kind of awards were closely monitored, usually by people like Bristol Palin, who had powerful parents, lots of money, and super jock boyfriends.  But it was telling of what a cipher the Palin family has become.  They’re obscenely rich millionaires who run small town feuds on a level beyond what I ever saw with people trying to establish fiefdoms in the small town of my youth, but in the imagination of their fans, Sarah Palin is basically Dolly Parton—a scrappy poor girl who grew up with no shoes but became a big star on talent alone.  And Bristol Palin, too, though more as an afterthought.

Upset! High-scoring Brandy axed from ‘Dancing’

By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer

Wed Nov 17, 6:13 am ET

LOS ANGELES – Brandy earned a perfect score for her Argentine tango on Monday’s “Dancing With the Stars,” only to learn Tuesday it would be her final dance in the competition.

…

The Internet has been abuzz in recent days about how Palin, who has consistently landed at the bottom of the judges’ leaderboard, has been able to remain on the show. Some have suggested that voters – particularly supporters of Sarah Palin – have been voting in blocs and manipulating the system.

DWTS Future Jeopardized by "Operation Bristol"

By Jeralyn, Talk Left

Posted on Sat Nov 20, 2010 at 12:54:48 PM EST

I’m not the only one who thinks politics has run Dancing With the Stars into the ground. According to Popeater, AOL’s online entertainment news site, Dancing With the Stars producers and ABC and other TV insiders believe the show will be permanently ruined if Bristol Palin wins, and they fear she might, due to her mother’s fan base and campaigning.

Nov 21 2010

Prime Time

Not enough College Throwball for your eyes?  Florida State @ Maryland or Nebraska @ Texas A&M or USC @ Oregon State.  Oh, and Army @ Notre Dame.  John Legend fans will want to watch Austin City Limits.

Why is the rum always gone?

Oh… that’s why.

Later-

SNL- Anne Hathaway and Florence and the Machine.  GitS: SAC 2nd Gig, Natural Enemy, Inductance (Episodes 4 & 5).

Gentlemen… what do keys do?

Keys unlock… things?

And whatever this key unlocks, inside there’s something valuable. So we’re setting out to find whatever this key unlocks!

No. If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever it is we don’t have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?

So we’re going after this key!

You’re not making any sense at all.

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

Nov 20 2010

Prime Time

Premiers!  Good for you.

Keith called out Jon Stewart last night on false equivalency-

Take the poll and tell Keith to bring back ‘Worst’ just the way it was (73% at the moment).

In other news- Joe “Dead Intern” Scarborough suspended!

Later-

Dave hosts Billy Bob Thornton, Mike E. Winfield, and the Secret Sisters (get a wiki page guys).

What your telling me Sir and correct me if I’m wrong, is that the infantry attack on Lone Pine, and our Light Horse attack on the Nek are diversions.

Oh, not just diversions Major, vital important diversions. Tonight, 25,000 British troops will land here at Suvla Bay. Our attacks are to draw the Turks down on us so the British can get ashore. Sorry I didn’t tell you this before, secrecy is vital.

But Sir, the Nek is a fortress. Protected by at least five machine guns at point-blank range.

Yeah, we’ve considered that Barton. We’re gonna hit their trenches with the heaviest barrage of the campaign just before your men go over the top.

By the time we’ve finished here, there won’t be a Turk within miles.

The Turks can keep us pinned down at ANZAC forever. This new British landing is our only hope. We must do what we can to make it succeed. Because of it does succeed, we’ll have Constantinople with a week, and knock Turkey out of the war.

Nov 19 2010

Prime Time

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.  Mostly premiers.

We don’t have none of this stuff in the boy’s room! Wait a minute! We don’t got none of this… we don’t got doors on the stalls in the boy’s room, we don’t have, what is this? What’s this? We don’t have a candy machine in the boy’s room!

Later-

Dave hosts Jim Carrey and Nicki Minaj.  Jon has Phillip K. Howard, Stephen Salvatore Giunta and Dick Wolf.  Conan hosts Jesse Eisenberg, Venus Williams, and The Decemberists.

Oh ho ho, I see. Now I’m the “master of this mechanical stuff.” As opposed to five minutes ago, when I was calmly and coolly trying to find a solution to this very problem. But then something happened. Someone, who will remain nameless…  JIM WEST! …decided to jump over the wire, thereby providing us with that exhilarating romp through the cornfield, and that death-defying leap into the abysmal muck! And here we stand, with that demented maniac hurtling towards our President, with our one and only means of transportation, with Rita as his prisoner, armed with God-knows-what machinery of mass destruction, with the simple intention of overthrowing our government and taking over the country!

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

Nov 18 2010

Prime Time

Solid premiers.  Of them the most interesting to me are Secrets of the Dead Lost Ships of Rome and Circus, both on PBS.

Keith is bringing back ‘Worst Person In The World’.  I wonder what’s behind that?

I’m Burke. Carter Burke. I work for the company. But don’t let that fool you, I’m really an okay guy.

…

Look, this is an emotional moment for all of us, okay? I know that. But, let’s not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly-clearly an important species we’re dealing with and I don’t think that you or I, or anybody, has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them.

Later-

Dave hosts Jake Gyllenhaal, Fran Lebowitz, and Ne-Yo.  Jon has Jay-Z, Stephen Ian Frazier.  Conan hosts Susan Casey (you need a damn wiki entry), Russell Brand, and Kid Rock.

Boondocks– Ballin.

Those specimens, are worth millions to the bio-weapons corperation. If you’re smart, we can both come out of it as heroes and we’ll be set up for life.

You’re really crazy Burke, you know that. You really think that you can get a dangerous organism like that passed ICC quarantine?

How can they impound it if they don’t know about it?

They “will” know about it, Burke, from me. Like they’ll know that you are responsible for the deaths if 158 colonists here.

You’re wrong.

I just read the colony log. Dated 0-6-1-2-7-9 signed Burke Carter J. You sent them to that ship and you didn’t warn them. Why didn’t you warn them, Burke?

Okay. What if that ship didn’t even exist, huh didn’t you ever think about that? I didn’t know. I went in and made a major security issue out of it, and everybody steps in, and the Administraor steps in., and I made a decision and it was a bad call, Ripley, it was a bad call.

Bad call? These people are dead Burke! Don’t you have any idea what you have done here? I ‘m gonna make sure they nail you right to the wall for this, you’re not gonna sleaze your way out of this one. Right to the wall.

You know Ripley, I was hoping that you would be smarter than this.

I’m happy to disappoint you.

…

You know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

Nov 17 2010

Prime Time

Premiers.  Nova has Secrets of Stonehenge which could be interesting.

Time’s up! What do we have for the losers, judge? Well, for our defendants, it’s a life time at exotic Fort Leavenworth! And, for defense counsel Kaffee, that’s right, it’s a court martial! Yes, Johnny! After falsely accusing a highly decorated Marine officer of conspiracy and perjury, Lieutenant Kaffee will have a long and prosperous career teaching… typewriter maintenance at the Rocco Globbo School for Women! Thank you for playing “Should we or should we not listen to the advice of the galactically stupid!”

Later-

Dave hosts Jay-Z, Jamie Oliver, and Rihanna.  Jon has Bethany McLean and Joe Nocera, Stephen John Legend.  Conan hosts Harrison Ford, Rosario Dawson, and Reggie Watts.

Boondocks– Shinin’.

We joined the Marines because we wanted to live our lives by a certain code, and we found it in the Corps. Now you’re asking us to sign a piece of paper that says we have no honor. You’re asking us to say we’re not Marines. If a court decides that what we did was wrong, then I’ll accept whatever punishment they give. But I believe I was right sir, I believe I did my job, and I will not dishonor myself, my unit, or the Corps so I can go home in six months… Sir.

Zap2it TV Listings, Yahoo TV Listings

Nov 16 2010

Prime Time

Pretty much premiers.

I suppose I should say a word or 2 about Sarah Palin’s Alaska.  Yes I kinda sorta watched it in that face down on the keyboard in a puddle of drool sort of way which gives me nightmares about Stephen Colbert beating me with his Platinum membership card because I don’t buy enough Prescott Pharmaceuticals.

Sarah is absolutely right.  Yelling at Bears and their cubs while you’re stealing their fish is kind of begging Darwin to smite you Piper.  What was more interesting to me is that she didn’t wait 5 minutes to call out Joe McGinniss which sort of set the tone for her 40 minute campaign ad that plodded leadenly from talking point to talking point.

Mama Grizzlys indeed.

Now you may have a different impression and if not you have a chance to form a totally new one based on my particular prejudices tonight when it repeats, but when I say it lacks the drama and sincerity of Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch I’m making a professional judgement as a critic.

Because I’m not a journalist, just a deadline writer.

Later-

Dave hosts Emma Watson (easily the brightest witch of her generation), Scott Caan, and Rascal Flatts.  Jon has Marion Jones, Stephen David Stern (Hoopies).  Alton does Fried Turkey and Stuffing.  Conan hosts LL Cool J, B.J. Novak, and Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings.

Boondocks– Attack of the Killer King-fu Wolf Bitch

Nov 15 2010

Prime Time

Amazing Race premier.  New Simpsons, Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad.  Throwball- Patriots @ Steelers.  Tina Fey accepts the Mark Twain Prize.  Everything else is just premiers.

This record here’s about twelve years old. Parliament buried it and it stayed buried until River here dug it up. This is what they were afraid she knew. And they were right to fear. There’s a universe of folk who’re gonna know it, too. Someone has to speak for these people.

Y’all got on this boat for different reasons, but y’all come to the same place. So now I’m asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this – they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people… better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin’. I aim to misbehave.

Later-

Take my love, take my land

Take me where I cannot stand

I don’t care, I’m still free

You can’t take the sky from me

Take me out to the black

Tell them I ain’t comin’ back

Burn the land and boil the sea

You can’t take the sky from me

There’s no place I can be

Since I found Serenity

But you can’t take the sky from me…

Not just the Spanish Main, luv. The entire ocean. The entire world. Wherever we want to go, we’ll go. That’s what a ship is, you know. It’s not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that’s what a ship needs but what a ship is… what the Black Pearl really is… is freedom.

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