Tag: TV

Nov 14 2010

Prime Time

Some premiers.  College Throwball, ABC’s choice of 3- Clemson @ Florida State or Oklahoma State @ Texas or USC @ Arizona.

People go, man aren’t you afraid that you’re going to hell?  No, no, BECAUSE I WAS MARRIED FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS!

Hell would be like Club Med, I could be a Tour Guide in Hell.

Later-

SNL- Scarlett Johansson and Arcade Fire.  GitS: SAC 2nd Gig– Night Cruise, Cash Eye (Episodes 2 & 3 of the 2nd Gig Series)

I WANT MY RECORDS BACK!  I WANT MY FUCKING RECORDS BACK!

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Nov 13 2010

Prime Time

Mostly premiers.  Yas Marina Qualifying @ 8 am.

Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.

What’s the catch?

The catch? The catch is you will sever every human contact. Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. Ever. I’ll give you to sunrise to think it over.

Hey! Is it worth it?

Oh yeah, it’s worth it. If you’re strong enough!

Later-

Dave hosts Kelly Ripa, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Reba McEntire.  No Conan.

You’ll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MiB special services. You’ll conform to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on you’ll have no identifying marks of any kind. You’ll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You’re a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don’t exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. You’re no longer part of the System. You’re above the System. Over it. Beyond it. We’re “them.” We’re “they.” We are the Men in Black.

You see, the difference between you and me is I make this look good.

Nov 12 2010

Prime Time

Broadcast?  Mostly premiers.

Lance Corporal Dawson, Private First Class Downey: On the charge of murder, the members find the accused not guilty. On the charge of conspiracy to commit murder, the members find the accused not guilty. On the charge of conduct unbecoming a United States Marine, the members find the accused guilty as charged. The accused are hereby sentenced to time already served, and you are ordered to be dishonorably discharged from the Marine Corps. This court martial is adjourned.

All rise.

What does that mean? What did we do wrong? We did nothing wrong.

Yeah, we did. We were supposed to fight for the people who couldn’t fight for themselves. We were supposed to fight for Willie.

“(Miami is) not a serious Basketball Town”- ESPN

Later-

Dave hosts Cher and Bruno Mars.  Jon has Rosario Dawson, Stephen Quincy Jones.  Conan Michael Cera, Julie Bowen, and Jon Dore.

All right, listen up. You people will not die on me in combat. You fucking new guys will do everything you can to prove me wrong. You’ll walk on trails, kick cans, sleep on guard, smoke dope and diddely-bop through the bush like you were back on the block. Or on guard at night you’ll write letters, play with your organ, and think of your girl back home. Forget her. Right now, some hair head has her on her back and is telling her to fuck for peace. This is Han. Those of you who are foolish will think of him as ‘gook,’ ‘slope,’ ‘slant’ or ‘dink.’ He is your enemy. He came over on the Chieu Hoi programme, and after he fattens himself on C-rations he will be hunting your young asses in the Ashau Valley. Now forget about this Viet Cong shit. What you’ll encounter out there is hard core NVA, North Vietnamese. Highly motivated, highly trained and well equipped. If you meet Han or his cousins, you will give him respect and refer to those little bastards as ‘Nathanial Victor.’ Meet him twice, and survive, and you will refer to him as ‘MISTER Nathanial Victor.’ Now people, I am sick and tired of filling body bags with your dumb fucking mistakes.

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Nov 11 2010

Prime Time

Broadcast Premiers.  Country Music Awards.  A good night to nap.

Later-

Dave hosts Russell Crowe, Quincy Jones, and Snoop Dogg.  Jon has Mick Foley (could be fun), Stephen Martha Stewart (maybe she’ll make something).  Conan has Jon Hamm, Charlyne Yi, and Fistful of Mercy.

Boondocks– Or Die Trying.

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Nov 10 2010

Prime Time

So Keith is back.  I’m tempted not to watch for fear he’ll do something stupid like apologize.  Broadcast premiers.

Greenwald on O’Donnell (definitely).

Later-

Dave hosts Denzel Washington and Bon Jovi.  Jon has Harrison Ford (cool), Stephen Cee Lo Green.  Conan Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer, and Soundgarden.

Boondocks– The Story of Thugnificent

You know when fluoridation first began?

I… no, no. I don’t, Jack.

Nineteen hundred and forty-six. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

Uh, Jack, Jack, listen… tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first… become… well, develop this theory?

Well, I, uh… I… I… first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

Hmm.

Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue… a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I… I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.

Hmm.

I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh… women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh… I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

No.

But I… I do deny them my essence.

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Nov 09 2010

Prime Time

A good night to nap.  Broadcast premiers.  Keith due back tomorrow.  Greenwald on O’Donnell (maybe).

Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I’m already thinking of Wednesday… It is Monday right?

You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the ’64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn’t happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the ’60’s, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the ’64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

We have to keep out faith in the Republic. The day we stop believing democracy can work is the day we lose it.

Later-

Dave hosts Harrison Ford and Cee Lo Green.  Jon has Rick Perry, Stephen Reza Aslan.  Double Alton, Squash and Sweet Potatos.

Series Premier of Conan on TBS.  He hosts Seth Rogan and Jack White.

Boondocks– Thank You for Not Snitching

Elaine, you’re a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?

No.

Nov 08 2010

Prime Time

Treehouse of Horror #21, also new Cleveland Show, Family Guy, and American Dad.  Throwball, Boys @ Packers– Cheeseheads all the way.  Amazing Race.  Nature Braving Iraq, Masterpiece Mystery Sherlock: The Great Game.

MSNBC offers more of their quality weekend programming- Sex Slaves: Texas (premier).

Put it away, son. It’s not worth you getting beat again.

You didn’t beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I’d kill you.

That’s not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Later-

Childrens Hospital, live Season Finale.  Metalocalypse, first airs a week from now.  Assisted Suicide.

Not just the Spanish Main, luv. The entire ocean. The entire wo’ld. Wherever we want to go, we’ll go. That’s what a ship is, you know. It’s not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that’s what a ship needs but what a ship is… what the Black Pearl really is… is freedom.

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Nov 07 2010

Prime Time

College Throwball, Arizona @ Stanford or Missouri @ Texas Tech.  Some premiers.

Now don’t mistake me. I’m not advising cruelty or brutality with no purpose. My point is that cruelty with purpose is not cruelty – it’s efficiency. Then a man will never disobey once he’s watched his mate’s backbone laid bare. He’ll see the flesh jump, hear the whistle of the whip for the rest of his life.

Later-

SNL- 10/9.  Big O x 2 (penultimate and Series Finale).  GitS: SAC– Barrage, Stand Alone Complex (penultimate and Series Finale Episodes)

I’ve lived my life as a newspaper reporter. I uncover the truth and write my articles. But then I learned, all too well, that a mere reporter like myself can’t ever get to the truth in this city… it’s nearly impossible. And it’s unsure! No one here is even interested in learning the truth – a truth that must be known. But I want to know! I want to learn what must be known!

…

Even without the events of 40 years ago, I think man would still be a creature that fears the dark. He doesn’t face that fear, he averts his eyes from it and acts as if he doesn’t have any memories of his past. But, 40 years is both a short time and yet, a long time. Man’s fear has withered. And even time itself tries to wither the desire to know the truth. Is it a crime to try and learn the truth? Is it a sin to search for those things which you fear? My purpose in this world is knowledge, and the dissemination of it. And it is I who is to restore the fruits of my labor to the entire world. Fear… It is something vital to us puny creatures. The instant man stop fearing is the instant the species reaches a dead end, only to sink to pitable lows, only to sit and wait apathetically for extinction. Humans who lose the ability to think become creatures whose existance has no value. Wake up! Don’t be afraid of knowledge! Think, you humans who are split into two worlds, unless you want the gulf between humans to expand into oblivian, you must think!

You know, you get bonus points for identifying the quotes.

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Nov 06 2010

Prime Time

No Friday Night Thurber tonight, or maybe ever again.  As you’ve no doubt heard by now Keith is suspended indefinitely because he made 3 campaign contributions.  On the other hand racist Nazi loving Patrick J. Buchanan who, as Atrios points out, made no less than 5 is still on the air.  If you need proof Craig Crawford is a total asshole I’m sure you’ll find it.

Premiers across the board.

Later-

Dave hosts Steve Martin and the Punch Brothers, Emily Deschanel.  Jon out rated Leno and Letterman, but only in the key demo.

Nov 05 2010

Prime Time

Mostly premiers.  Not much to pick from and nothing worth writing about.  A good night for a nap.

Later-

Dave hosts Edison Peña and Tracy Morgan.  Jon has David Sedaris, Stephen Elvis Costello.

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