Tag: TV

Stephen gave a great performance today.  It’s available on CSPAN-3.  Keith promised Thurber last night, as much as a full hour.  You can watch Rachel’s cheerleading if you want.  This is probably the last you will hear, from me at least, about Lawrence O’Donnell’s new show on Monday.  A more sold out partisan shill isn’t currently broadcasting; and yes, I’m including Glenn Beck and the rest of the Faux cast of clowns because they occasionally break character and let the truth slip out and Larry never, ever does.

There’s always King of the Hill.

Singapore Qualifying at 10 am tomorrow on Speed.  Formula 1 Debrief at 12:30 am.  Practice repeat at 1:30 am.

• AMC– Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (confusing and unsatisfying, but fun to watch)
• Disney– Phineas and Ferb (premier), Fish Hooks (Series Premier)
• Discovery– Man, Woman, Wild (Season Finale), Beyond Survival With Les Stroud (premier)
• ESPN– College Throwball, Texas Christian @ Southern Methodist
• ESPN2– High School Throwball, South Carolina- South Pointe @ Spartanburg
• Food– Chopped (Champions, Part 4), Meat and Potatoes (Series Premier)
• FX– When A Stranger Calls (not the good 1979 version.  Calling Saxby Chambliss), Prom Night (not the good 1980 version)
• Nick– Are you tired of Fred: The Movie yet?
• Oxygen– Something New
• SciFi– The League of Calamitous Intent Extraordinary Gentlemen, Haven (premier)
• TBS– You are Gumped
• Turner Classics– A Big Hand for the Little Lady (Fonda and Woodward, one of the very best, you owe yourself), The Sting
• TLC– Say Yes to the Dress marathon (and premier)
• TNT– I am Legend x 2 (Seen Omega Man?  Then you’ve seen this.)
• Toon– Sym-Bionic Titan, Generator Rex, Clone Wars (premiers)
• USA– Juno, Legally Blonde

Later-

• AMC– Unbreakable (What a twist!), Fallen
• Bravo– American Pie Presents: Band Camp, Little Miss Sunshine
• SciFi– Warehouse 13 (season penultimate), Haven (this week’s)
• TBS– The Terminal
• Turner Classic– The Cincinnati Kid
• TNT– Executive Decision (really mediocre)
• Toon– American Dad x 2, Childrens Hospital, The Office (the good British version)
• USA– Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde

Dave hosts Shia LaBeouf, Brian Regan, and Jimmy Eat World.  Alton does Porterhouse Steak.

Forty-six years ago, I started lending money in Larry Bingham’s back room. My first customer was a drover named Penny. He wanted two dollars on a Brindle cow at six percent interest. He said she gave six quarts of milk a day. You know what I made him do? I made him move that cow into my back yard for a whole week. And I watched him milk her every day. Sure enough, she gave an average of six and a half quarts a day, so I gave him the money at six and half percent interest. Not only that, I kept the 60 pounds of manure she left behind. When you show me collateral, madam, you better make sure it’s good collateral. For forty-six years, I’ve been lending money on good, old-fashioned principles. I stand here now to tell you one and all that I’ve never been offered a better piece of collateral that I hold in my hand now!

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All premiers on broadcast, none worth mentioning.  Last night this week for Keith and Rachel all night and the Boys.

You can break a man’s skull, you can arrest him, you can throw him into a dungeon. But how do you control what’s up here? How do you fight an idea?

• AMC– Airplane & II x 2
• Bravo– Real Housewives D.C. (premier)
• Comedy– [Futurama ]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futurama marathon
• ESPN– College Throwball, Miami @ Pittsburgh
• ESPN2– High School Throwball, from Florida South Lake @ Apopka
• Food– America’s Best (Alton), Ace of Cakes (premiers)
• FX– It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The League (premiers)
• History– The Universe (premier)
• Lifetime– Project Runway (last week’s and new)
• TBS– Rush Hour 3
• Turner Classic– Ben-Hur
• TLC– Sr. v. Jr. (last week’s and new), BBQ Pitmasters (premier)
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (100th episode repeat)

Later-

• Turner Classic– Samson and Delilah
• Toon– Delocated, American Dad x 2
• SciFi– WCG Ultimate Gamer (premier)
• USA– Undercovers, Outlaw (Series Premier repeats)

Dave hosts  James Franco, Sofia Vergara, and Shakira.  Jon has Abdullah II, Stephen Oscar Goodman.  Alton does Ginger.

But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I’m an airline pilot.

I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense.  And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try… except during the playoffs.

The hell I don’t! LISTEN KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

Over Macho Grande?

No. I don’t think I’ll ever get over Macho Grande.

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Oh boy howdy.  Be sure and set your DVRs to record Jon’s lame shilling for his ‘Million Moderates March’ on BillO tonight.  Jon- there is right and wrong in this world, good and evil, and good does not consist of splitting the difference between them or ass kissing the ‘lesser evil’.

What makes you particularly pathetic is we know you know better than that and are choosing to sell out deliberately.

Shame on you.

Broadcast premiers, none worth mentioning.  PBS is carrying the Opening Night Concert of the New York Philharmonic.  Keith and Rachel all night.

• AMC– Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome x 2 (the last good movie Mel ever made)
• Bravo– Top Chef marathon (2 premiers)
• Discovery– Mythbusters, Man v. Wild (Season Finale)
• E!– Bridget Jones’s Diary
• ESPN– Rays @ Yankees, Padres @ Dodgers
• Food– America’s Best (with Alton, another premier)
• FX– Forgetting Sarah Marshall (again, in case you haven’t seen it yet), Terriers (premier)
• Lifetime– Bringing Down the House
• Oxygen– A Cinderella Story x 2
• Turner Classic– Five Graves to Cairo, Rashomon
• TNT– Bones marathon
• Toon– Regular Show, MAD
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon (with premier)
• TV Guide– The Bridges of Madison County x 2 (again and again)
• USA– NCIS marathon
• Vs.– Slap Shot

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon (this week’s)
• USA– Ocean’s Thirteen
• Turner Classic– Brewster McCloud, This Is Spinal Tap

Dave hosts Joaquin Phoenix and Tom Jones (he has a new album).  Jon has Edward Norton, Stephen Guillermo Del Toro.  Alton does Pork Tenderloin.

Boondocks– Mr. Medicinal.

We’re very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they’re like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They’re two distinct types of visionaries, it’s like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

So it’s the Season Finale of Warehouse 13 and I’ve mostly spent the day watching the ‘catch up’ marathon which has unfortunately left me terribly confused because of my distractions.  Next week we’ll start Season 2 of Stargate Universe (I think, all the starting and stopping, did I mention I was terribly confused?) with a similar marathon.

Three NCIS premiers and a bunch of miscellaneous others on broadcast.  Keith and Rachel all night long.

• ABC Family– Melissa & Joey (premier), Mean Girls
• AMC– Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior x 2 (same reason as last night)
• Bravo– Flipping Out, The Rachel Zoe Project (premiers)
• ESPN– World Series of Poker x 2 (premiers)
• Food– America’s Best (premier, Alton), Chopped (Champions, last semi-final)
• FX– The Day After Tomorrow
• History– Swamp People marathon (with premier)
• Oxygen– Bad Girls Club, Hair Battle Spectacular (premiers)
• Speed– Monster Jam (premier, with Inside Monster Jam 3)
• Turner Classic– Fire Over England, That Hamilton Woman (seafarin’ Larry and Vivien, Arrgh)
• Toon– Unnatural History (Season Finale), Clone Wars (repeat of Season Premier)
• TV Guide– Tin Cup (why this channel is worthless, but a great movie)
• Vs.– Minor League Baseball, Triple-A National Championship: Columbus Clippers vs. Tacoma Rainiers

Later-

• SciFi– Haven (this week’s)
• Turner Classic– Waterloo Bridge huh, I guess it’s [Vivien Leigh night)
• USA– Chase (Series Premier repeat)

Dave hosts Simon Baker, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, and Maroon 5.  Jon has Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Eric Schmidt.  Alton does Peanuts.

Boondocks– The Story of Lando Freeman.

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Lots of premiers if you watch broadcast.  But I don’t.  I don’t watch HBO either but if I did I could hardly escape Boardwalk Empire.

• ABC Family– Independence Day (enthralls me less and less with each viewing.  How come every alien computer can be accessed by a Mac and yet no Windows computer can?)
• AMC– Mad Max x 2 (normally I skip Gibson films because he’s a raging racist anti-semite theocrat, but this one really is a classic)
• Disney– High School Musical (I’m going to stop covering it after this because Disney is wasting a whole week on teen dancing musicals showcasing their stage mom slaves)
• ESPN– Pro Throwball, Who ‘Dat @ ‘9ers
• Food– Unwrapped (premier), America’s Best (Series Premier as far as I can tell.  Alton!  Get your wiki people on this!  Stat!), Triple D (premier)
• FX– The Transporter 2
• History– New Pawn Stars
• Lifetime– Bond of Silence
• National Geographic– How Nero Saved Rome (new, also Decoding Bible Relics and Ghost Ships of the Black Sea.  I’d look them up but it’s a pain in the ass.)
• TBS– Family Guy night
• Turner Classic– The Prowler, The Red Shoes (yes I know it’s a classic, I hate it)
• Toon– New Regular Show, MAD, Total Drama World Tour (one of the Adventure Times with Finn and Jake may be new too)
• Vs.– Bull Durham
• Travel– At least we have a Man v. Food marathon
• TV Land– When Harry Met Sally (still watchable)

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon, Mad Men (this week’s)
• Turner Classic– Shadows

Dave hosts Bill Clinton and Chromeo.  Jon has Jimmy Carter (dueling Presidents), Stephen Pavement.  Alton does Pretzels (he won’t give you the good recipe that uses lye, but you know they use lye to cure olives and lutefisk so I don’t understand what the big deal is).

Boondocks– The Lovely Ebony Brown.

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once – the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

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Professional Throwball- Giants @ Traitors.  You know how to root.  Miss something last night?  See it tonight.  Not a lot of original programming.

• ABC Family– Where the Heart Is
• A&E– The Glades (premier)
• AMC– Rubicon, Mad Men (premiers)
• Discovery– Survival Night
• ESPN– Tigers @ White Sox
• Food– The Great Food Truck Race (Season Finale), Iron Chef America (premier)
• FX– Forgetting Sarah Marshall (again)
• History– Ice Road Truckers, Swamp People (premiers)
• Lifetime– The 19th Wife x 2 (again and again)
• National Geographic– Nazis
• Nick– Fred: The Movie (again)
• SciFi– Earth Shattering Disasters (just like History Channel, only with actors)
• Turner Classic– Wait Until Dark, Dial M for Murder
• TNT– 10,000 B.C. x 2 (and again and again)
• Toon– Sym-Bionic Titan, Clone Wars (repeats of Friday’s premiers), Delocated (premier)
• Vs.– Repeats of last night’s IndyCar race and Bull Riding
• VH1– ATL (again)

Later-

• Comedy– Classic Futurama
• FX– Dodgeball
• Turner Classic– The Red Lily (shhhh)
• TNT– Batman & Robin

The Venture Brothers Episode 2 of Season 4 and a half (premier), Pomp & Circuitry (last week’s episode summary).  Childrens Hospital, Joke Overload (premier).  Frankenhole, Heal Hitler (Episode 4).

How do you go about writing a detective story?

Well, you forget detection and concentrate on crime. Crime’s the thing. And then you imagine you’re going to steal something or murder somebody.

Oh, is that how you do it? It’s interesting.

Yes, I usually put myself in the criminal’s shoes and then I keep asking myself, uh, what do I do next?

Do you really believe in the perfect murder?

Mmm, yes, absolutely. On paper, that is. And I think I could, uh, plan one better than most people; but I doubt if I could carry it out.

Oh? Why not?

Well, because in stories things usually turn out the way the author wants them to; and in real life they don’t… always.

Hmm.

No, I’m afraid my murders would be something like my bridge: I’d make some stupid mistake and never realize it until I found everybody was looking at me.

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College Throwball and lots of it including Irish @ State or Texas @ Tech.  Temple kicked UConn’s butt and deservedly so.  UConn is barely a Division I program and it is a big expensive mistake to pretend otherwise.  You won’t be able to use TV Guide Channel at all tonight because they’re running The Bridges of Madison County twice.  I might point out that unless it’s noted all sporting events are live.  Also all ‘marathons’ are at least 4 episodes or 3 hours long.

• ABC Family– The Wedding Date, Miss Congeniality
• A&E– The Perfect Storm x 2 interrupted by The Glades A Perfect Storm
• AMC– Airplane & II
• Animal– Cats 101, Pit Boss (premiers)
• Bravo– House marathon
• E!– Bridget Jones’s Diary
• ESPN– Clemson @ Auburn
• ESPN2– The other game that ABC is not carrying in your area.
• Food– Triple D marathon
• FX– Jumper, Two and a Half Men
• History– Sniper marathon
• Lifetime– Deadly Honeymoon, The 19th Wife
• MTV– Beauty Shop
• National Geographic– Collapse: Based on the Book by Jared Diamond (World Premier)
• Nick– Fred: The Movie (World Premier)
• Oxygen– The Pacifier
• SciFi– Final Destination 2, Vacancy 2: The First Cut (2 marathon day)
• Speed– Continental Tire Sports Car Challenge (Miller Motorsports Park in Salt Lake City, Rolex Sports Car support series)
• Spike– Band of Brothers marathon
• Style– How Do I Look?, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? (premiers)
• TBS– Meet the Parents, You, Me and Dupree
• Turner Classic– Gigi, Love in the Afternoon (Maurice Chevalier night)
• TNT– Shooter
• USA– NCIS marathon
• Vs.– PBR Springfield Invitational
• VH1– ATL (hip hop rollerskating)

Later-

• ABC Family– Honey
• ESPN– Iowa @ Arizona
• ESPN2– Wake Forest @ Stanford
• Oxygen– Monster In Law
• SciFi– The Midnight Meat Train, Autopsy
• TBS– Nacho Libre
• Turner Classic– Man About Town (more Maurice.  This was really hard to track down.)
• TNT– Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
• Vs.– IndyCar Japan 300

Boondocks– Smokin’ With Cigarettes, The Trial of Robert Kelly.  GitS: SAC– Escape From, Not Equal (Episodes 12 & 13).

Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We’ve all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Striker. I mean, down here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing – they’re *flashing* and they’re *beeping*. I can’t stand it anymore! They’re *blinking* and *beeping* and *flashing*! Why doesn’t somebody pull the plug!

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You might be interested to know that the Seattle Storm are the new WNBA Champions in a 3 game sweep.

Well, just wait until the Lady Huskies get started.

In not the news another weekend of prison porn starting at 10.  No Dave, Jon, or Stephen.  Of the 2 rallies to be held on the 30th I prefer ‘Keep Fear Alive’ to Jon’s neo Broderism.  Stephen is funnier than you too Jon.  Interesting and sad that they didn’t even think of including a lefty alternative.

• Bravo– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous x 2
• Disney– WALL-E
• Discovery– Man, Woman, Wild (last week’s and new), Beyond Survival With Les Stroud (premier)
• ESPN– College Throwball, Kansas @ Southern Mississippi
• ESPN2– High School Throwball from Georgia, Columbus Carver @ Lagrange
• Food– Chopped (Champions Part 3)
• FX– Grandma’s Boy, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (again)
• Oxygen– Liar Liar x 2
• SciFi– Warehouse 13 x 2 (including this Season Premier), Haven (premier)
• Style– Coyote Ugly
• TBS– The Heartbreak Kid x 2
• TLC– Say Yes to the Dress marathon (including new)
• Turner Classic– The Moon Is Blue, The Man With the Golden Arm (Otto Preminger Night)
• TNT– 10,000 B.C. x 2
• Toon– Sym-Bionic Titan (Series Premier), Generator Rex (premier), Clone Wars (Season 3 Premier)
• USA– The Bourne Ultimatum

Later-

• AMC– Sudden Impact
• Disney– Phineas and Ferb
• ESPN2– College Throwball, California @ Nevada
• Turner Classic– Baby Doll
• TNT– Terminator 2: Judgment Day (best of the series)
• USA– Casino Royale

Alton does breakfast.  Adult Swim has Childrens Hospital, American Dad, The Mighty Boosh (Party, next to last episode of Season 3), Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace (Hell Hath Fury, episode 2)

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Last chance for our Boys this week.  Ditto Keith and Rachel all night (wonder if she’ll follow up on Biden’s disasterous interview last night?  More from Taylor Marsh and Cujo359).

• ABC Family– The Notebook
• Comedy– Futurama (including 2 of this season’s episodes)
• Disney– Underdog
• E!– Heartbreakers
• ESPN– College Throwball, Cincinnati at North Carolina State
• ESPN2– WNBA Finals Game 3- Storm @ Dream (Seattle could sweep tonight)
• Food– Extreme Cuisine With Jeff Corwin, Ace of Cakes (premiers)
• FX– Forgetting Sarah Marshall, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League (premiers)
• History– The Universe (premier)
• TBS– Twister (other than Helen Hunt not much to recommend it)
• Turner Classic– Underworld U.S.A., Hamlet (Olivier)
• TLC– Sr. v. Jr. (last week’s and new), BBQ Pitmasters (premier)
• Toon– Total Drama World Tour, Regular Show, MAD (repeats of this week’s)
• TNT– The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Dark Blue x 2 (this week’s)

I have to admit I didn’t understand It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia at first, but it’s Cheers on acid ironically starring Rhea’s husband Danny.

Later-

• AMC– Mad Men (this week’s), The Enforcer
• Comedy– More Futurama
• FX– Terriers (this week’s)
• SciFi– WCG Ultimate Gamer (premier)
• Turner Classics– The Virgin Spring (Ingmar Bergman, dark)
• Adult Swim– Delocated (fairly recent)
• USA– Covert Affairs (this week’s)

Jon has Bill Clinton, Stephen Christiane Amanpour.  Alton does Soybeans.  Boondocks– The Fund-raiser (good work if you can get it).

Ay, marry, is it?

But to my mind, though I am native here and to the manner born, it is a custom more honour’d in the breach than the observance.  This heavy-headed revel east and west makes us traduced and tax’d of other nations.

They clepe us drunkards, and with swinish phrase soil our addition; and indeed it takes from our achievements, though perform’d at height, the pith and marrow of our attribute.

So, oft it chances in particular men, that for some vicious mole of nature in them, as in their birth - wherein they are not guilty since nature cannot choose his origin - by the o’ergrowth of some complexion oft breaking down the pales and forts of reason, or by some habit that too much o’er-leavens the form of plausive manners; that these men, carrying I say the stamp of one defect, being nature’s livery or fortune’s star - their virtues else be they as pure as grace, as infinite as man may undergo - shall in the general censure take corruption from that particular fault, the dram of ale doth all the noble substance of a doubt to his own scandal.

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I dunno, I think your best bet is gloating with Keith and Rachel tonight.

• Bravo– Top Chef marathon (including Part 2 of the Season Finale)
• Discovery– Man v. Wild (last week’s and new)
• ESPN– Yankees @ Rays, Dodgers @ Giants
• FX– Terriers x 3 (premier)
• Lifetime– Waitress
• Oxygen– Catwoman x 2 (so you don’t miss it.  Truly horrible)
• Turner Classic– Al Capone, The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond (gangsta)
• TNT– Dark Blue x 2 (both premiers)
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon (including premier, Niagra.  There was this one place I used to go where you could get a Porterhouse for $6 right across from the Mall and within spitting distance of the Falls.)

Later-

• AMC– Rubicon (this week’s), Dirty Harry
• Bravo– More Top Chef (another premier.  What about ‘Finale’ are they misunderstanding?)
• Turner Classic– King of the Roaring ’20s: The Story of Arnold Rothstein
• USA– Covert Affairs (repeat of last night’s Season Finale)

Jon has Jon Hamm, Stephen Saul Griffith.  Alton does Rice and Beans (they’re better than you think).  Boondocks– Smokin’ With Cigarettes.

It all started on the day that I died. If there had been an obituary, it would have described the unremarkable life of an unremarkable woman, survived by no one. But there was no obituary, because the day that I died was also the day I started to live. But that comes later. This was my life. Days blended together, consistently ordinary, thanks to a job that was the practical version of my passion. I was supposed to be an artist by now. Instead, I was designing ads for beauty cream.

The day I died was the day I started to live. In my old life, I longed for someone to see what was special in me. You did, and for that, you’ll always be in my heart. But what I really needed was for me to see it. And now I do. You’re a good man, Tom. But you live in a world that has no place for someone like me. You see, sometimes I’m good. Oh, I’m very good. But sometimes I’m bad. But only as bad as I wanna be. Freedom is power. To live a life untamed and unafraid is the gift that I’ve been given, and so my journey begins.