Tag: TV

D-d-d-d-d-Dora.  If I’ve not properly transcribed the stuttering I apologize for my horrible human hands.  As with Phineas and Ferb the format is fairly rigid, like a poem.  I can sing the Map Song and the Back Pack Song.  I know how to stop Swiper from swiping.

“Swiper! No Swiping!”

Louder!

“Swiper! No Swiping!”

Oh, man!

We did it!  What part did you like best?  I liked that part too.

• AMC– Rubicon, Mad Men (premiers)
• ESPN– Phillies @ Mets
• ABC Family– Remember the Titans
• Food– Next Food Network Star (last week’s and new), The Great Food Truck Race (Series Premier)
• History– Top Shot (Season Finale)
• Nick– Dora 10th Anniversary
• SciFi– Eragon
• TBS– Legally Blonde
• Turner Classics– The Secret Garden, Our Vines Have Tender Grapes
• Discovery– Mythbusters Retrospective
• Toon– Unnatural History, Childrens Hospital, Delocated
• USA– Burn Notice marathon
• Spike– No Country for Old Men
• FX– X2: X-Men United

Later-

Later.

Small world.  Gary Burghoff is from Bristol.  I’ve been many times and there are parts of it I don’t know at all.  When you get off I-84 at Exit 31 you make a right (if you’re coming from Hartford) and about the first things you see are ESPN’s antenna farm and the Otis Elevator test building.  Turn left if you want to visit Lake Compounce, North America’s oldest continually operating amusement park (sure, some years it was just the one day, but it’s the thought that counts).

To get to the A. Bartlett Giamatti Center you drive on Rt. 229 for what seems like a year until you get to Rt. 6.  It’s really much easier from Exit 38, but then you would miss the sights.  Good luck to the Fairfield All-Stars.

• Spike– The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
• A&E– The Perfect Storm
• AMC– The Cowboys (Marion Morrison)
• Bravo– The 40-Year-Old Virgin x 2 (who do you think should replace Steve Carell)
• ESPN– Little League Baseball, New England Regional Finals and Northwest Regional Finals
• Food– Triple D marathon
• History– Top Shot marathon (finale tomorrow)
• FX– Ghost Rider
• Oxygen– Juno
• Lifetime– Something’s Gotta Give
• SciFi– Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island (not even as good as you think)
• Turner Classic– Leave Her to Heaven, Dragonwyck (Gene Tierney night)
• TNT– Ocean’s Eleven

Later-

• Spike– Aliens
• AMC–The Shootist (Marion’s finale)
• TBS– Drumline (I played in a Marching Band, what can I say?)
• Turner Classic– That Wonderful Urge
• TNT– Sahara

Adult Swim has Boondocks, The Story of Catcher Freeman and The Color Ruckus.  No Mobile Armored Riot Police, instead Bleach movies Memories of Nobody and The DiamondDust Rebellion.  I’m not into Bleach so much as I figure I have a large enough obscure Japanese Anime addiction.

I would like to say a few words about Aliens.  It rocks.

Yahoo TV Listings

No Boys.  Only the one crack at Keith and Rachel because it’s all Maricopa County and Joe Arpaio all the time on MSNBC during the weekend.

AMC has M*A*S*H x 2, the movie with all the minor characters who got cut from the TV Series like the Painless Pole (without whom the ‘Suicide is Painless‘ theme song doesn’t make much sense) and Spearchucker Jones and Duke (who’s absence, since he’s the second lead while Trapper John McIntyre only makes his appearance halfway through, is pretty puzzling).  Only Gary Burghoff is the same.

Yes, I did read all 3 novels by Rchard Hooker.  Why do you ask?

• ESPN– Little League Baseball, Southeast Region Final
• Oxygen– Monster-in-Law which, although it has J-Lo, also has Jane Fonda
• SciFi– Eureka’s Warehouse 13 crossover episode (imaginatively titled Crossing Over).
  
  Oh, and premiers of that and Haven.
• TBS– Diary of a Mad Black Woman (why Tyler Perry is famous)
• Turner Classic– The Boy with Green Hair, The Set-Up (Robert Ryan night)
• Discovery– Odd Couple survival night
• TLC– Say Yes to the Dress marathon
• TNT– A Few Good Men
• Toon– Ben 10 and Generator Rex premiers, Clone Wars bounty hunter episodes

Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Later-

Alton has all you’d ever want to know about pressure-cooking broth.  Toon has new Children’s Hospital (new link), Dr. Quymn, Medicine Woman (memorable), and Look Around You does Sports (Darts and Fencing become ‘Dencing’, though I can perhaps think of another fusion).

• FX– Bedazzled
• Oxygen– Shall We Dance? (more J-Lo, but also Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon)
• TBS– The Truman Show (prescient and disturbing)
• TNT– The Fugitive
• USA– Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
• Disney– Summer Belongs To You

There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.

I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Keith, Rachel and plenty of them.  More repeats from Dave.  We have Boys.

• AMC– Pale Rider (Shane), Unforgiven (Clint’s Best Western)
• ESPN– Throwball Panthers @ Ravens
• Food– Good Eats (Trout and Lobster)
• FX– X-Men: The Last Stand x 2
• History– The Universe, More Stan Lee
• Lifetime– Project Runway
• Turner Classic– The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg (a classic silent), Private Lives
• TLC– Sr. v. Jr. (this is the one you’ve been waiting for)
• Toon– Repeats of Monday’s premiers
• USA– Burn Notice (premier)

I have beefs with Alton’s treatment of lobster, there is no reason at all to snoot the Roe and Tomalley or do anything other than steam it and serve with butter and lemon.  He does have a good technique for extracting the minor claw meat.

Later-

• FX– Elektra (even worse than Daredevil if you can imagine that)
• Turner Classic– Romeo and Juliet (a truly classic film performance)
• TLC– Sr. v. Jr. (12″ Director’s Cut Dance Remix)

On Jon Arcade Fire perform.  This is the first time I remember live musical guests.  I don’t think it worked for SCTV (and I like The Tubes) and I don’t think it works for Jon OR Stephen.

Oh, he has Chuck Close.

Alton does spices.  The Buddy System- Tim-Tom and Kevin.

Yahoo TV Listings

Well, we found out how Rachel handled it.  Didn’t mention it at all that I noticed.  Maybe tonight.

Now that Keith did a special comment.

I’ll not mention Steven Seagal night on AMC because of all the inarticulate ‘action heros’ out there he’s just about the most inarticulate which would be ok if the action weren’t also derivative and boring.

But you can say the same about Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Willis.

• ESPN– Yankees @ Rangers
• ABC Family– Raising Helen
• Turner Classic– Walter Matthau night, Bad News Bears and The Odd Couple.  They won’t show his best work which is in my opinion Hopscotch (I didn’t say I don’t like Action movies, just boring and predictable ones).
• Discovery– New Man v. Wild (and they’ve apparently abandoned last season’s format which never worked).
• Travel– Man v. Food

Yup.  When I’m highlighting Man v. Food the pickings are pretty slim, but I’ve already posted the Dr. Strangelove video this week so I’ll spare you.

Later-

Dave still in repeats.  Jon has Laura Linney, Stephen David Finkel.  Alton does baklava (not the most interesting thing to do with phyllo dough, but tasty).

Home Is Where the Hate Is introduces Sergeant Hatred as a major character.  Though this episode follows last night’s, they’re not showing entirely in sequence so I can only imagine that they’re building up to a premier or something.

• AMC– Rubicon repeat, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
• FX– Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (good to sleep through)
• Turner Classic– Plaza Suite (More Matthau doing Simon)
• Travel– Much, much more Man v Food
• USA– Burn Notice (this week’s)

I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.

Yahoo TV Listings

Keith and Rachel.  I don’t know why I’m bothering to post anything else since all you all (that means my vast audience and all their cousins) ‘professional’ lefties will no doubt be fixated on Cable News Liars just as you were when you fired Shirley Sherrod.

Oh wait, that was Obama.

I’ll be particularly interested in how Rachel handles this since except for DADT she’s a consistent Obamabot.

I had the great pleasure today of voting against EVERY SINGLE INCUMBENT in my Democratic Primary because I Vote.

Every Time.

So thanks for the kick in the balls Barack.  It’s a real motivator with real consequences.  I hope you and your pack of 11 Dimensional Chess Masters have a great November.

You’re a bunch of privileged pampered morons.

But here in Real ‘Murica we don’t whore ourselves for a living and we have other interests.

• ESPN– World Series of Poker x 2
• ABC Family– Pretty Little Liars and Make It or Break It (family programming)
• FX– Dwayne Johnson
• SciFi– Warehouse 13 (last week’s .1 Eureka crossover conclusion with Quark and premier)
• Turner Classic– Show Boat (ain’t it neat to beat your feet upon the Mississippi mud), So This Is Love (Musicals)
• Toon– Unnatural History
• USA– White Collar (premier), Covert Affairs

Later-

• AMC– Fallen
• SciFi– Haven x 2
• VH1– Purple Rain

Dave is in re-runs.  Jon has Jason Bateman, Stephen Dylan Ratigan.  Alton does Ice Cream.

The Invisible Hand of Fate.

Yahoo TV Listings

Keith and Rachel all night long.  Jon is repeating August 3rd- Will Ferrell, Stephen August 4th- Michael Posner.  David is also in repeats, from way back on June 23rd- Adam Sandler and Bettye LaVette.  Leno is at least live with Howie Mandel and Mike Posner (again, must have a book out).

Thank goodness for Adult Swim (though napping might be a good alternative).

• AMC– Michael Clayton again.  If I wanted to see it I would have watched the first time.  Rubicon repeat.
• ESPN– Cards @ Reds
• ABC Family– Secret Life of the American Teenager (premier) x 2.  Family oriented programming for Caribou Barbie.
• FX– Click.  Adam Sandler (click).
• History– Pawn Stars, American Pickers
• SciFi– Warehouse 13.1, Eureka crossover repeat.
• Discovery– Cash Cab in Vegas (new)
• TBS– Family Guy night
• Turner Classic– Splendor in the Grass (Warren Beatty night)
• TLC– Cake Boss night
• TNT– The Closer (last week’s and premier)
• Toon– Premier night, Adventure Time With Finn & Jake, Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, Total Drama World Tour, Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated
• Travel– Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (premier)
• Disney– Another repeat of Summer Belongs to You

Later-

Well I’ve really sucked all the air out of it.  Alton does Oranges.  Shadowman 9: In the Cradle of Destiny is full of information about the the Guild of Calamitous Intent and the mysterious ‘Council of 13’.

• AMC– Yesterday’s Mad Men
• Comedy– Futurama repeats
• FX– Mr. 3000 (better than it should be)
• Turner Classic– Reds

Yahoo TV Listings

Haven’t I told you TV has jumped the Shark?

Can it be time for Throwball again?  Cinncinati @ Dallas and the only interesting question about it is if Keith still has his gig.

Something, Something, Something… Dark Side.

• Spike– Rambo Night
• AMC– Rubicon and Mad Men premiers
• ESPN– New York @ Boston.  All Hail the Great God Citgo!
• ABC Family– Wild Child x 2
• FX– The Ruins
• History– Ice Road Truckers (last week and premier ), Top Shot Quarterfinals (3 eliminations)
• Oxygen– America’s Next Top Model Marathon.
• SciFi– Silent Hill
• TBS– Meet The Parents x 2
• Turner Classic– Road to Morocco, Nothing but the Truth (Bob Hope night)
• Toon– Unnatural History, Children’s Hospital (premiers)

Later-

• Comedy– A Flock of Futurama
• MSNBC– Sex Slaves (soooooo unlike Network Whores)
• Turner Classic– Where There’s Life, Alias Jesse James (more Bob Hope)
• Adult Swim– Boondocks The Color Ruckus, Frankenhole (premiers)
• USA– The Condemned (‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin)

Yahoo TV Listings

Well, I’m going to call the end of Shark Week at 9 pm ET when Discovery switches to Croc Attack.  It’s still all about animals eating humans, but Crocodiles are not Sharks.

• AMC– More Marion Morrison
• Comedy– Employee of the Month (not even the good Christina Applegate version)
• ESPN– Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction
• E!– Dick
• ABC Family– Mean Girls (more Lindsay)
• FX– Doomsday (28 Days Later meets The Road Warrior)
• History– How the Earth Was Made
• Lifetime– Mad Money (Diane Keaton not Jim Cramer)
• TNT– Deep Impact
• Oxygen– Liar Liar x 2
• Turner Classic– The Sea Hawk, Adventures of Don Juan (all Errol Flynn, all the time)
• USA– Pretty Woman
• Disney– Summer Belongs To You x 2

Yeah, it pretty much sucks.  I’m going to give How the Earth Was Made another try so I can find the 30 seconds they talk about the Moon that I keep missing because I get distracted.  If you really like that sort of thing there’s Deep Impact.

I have no idea who’s the target audience of Sports Award shows.  They’re not Sports and they’re not Awards, why does anyone except your family care?

And when was beating women with coal shovels ever cool?  What were they thinking?

Later-

• AMC– Cahill, United States Marshal (still more Marion)
• Turner Classic– Gentleman Jim, Edge of Darkness
• Comedy– Balls of Fury

Boondocks, Ballin’ and The Fried Chicken Flu, GitS: SAC Testation and Android and I (episodes 2 & 3 if you want to get in on the Mobile Armoured Riot Police series).

Only one chance at Keith and Rachel because we need our Joe Arpaio fix.  Sharks, just tonight and tomorrow to jump them.  The highlight is without a doubt Phineas & Ferb’s Summer Belongs to You at 8 pm.  Think Around The World in 80 Days in a day.

In an hour.

Competing on the Toon front are Ben 10 and Generator Rex premiers.  Clone Wars is doing the Blue Shadow Virus set.

• AMC– Charlie Wilson’s War.  First off, not a ‘classic’.  Second, we’re still fighting it, and we’re losing.
• ESPN– ESPYs (again?)
• FX– Jarhead
• TNT– Men in Black x 2
• Oxygen– Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous x 2
• Nick– Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
• SciFi– Eureka (last week’s and the exciting conclusion of this week’s crossover Warehouse 13 episode), Haven (premier)
• Turner Classic– Intermezzo: A Love Story, Casablanca (Ingrid)

Later-

Dave has Sandra Bullock (Miss Congeniality) and Drew Brees.  NO ALTON!  What the heck am I going to eat?  New Children’s Hospital at midnight.  The Doctor Is Sin (Am I a bad person?).  Look Around You– Health.  Disney has repeats of tonight’s premier and other recent Phineas & Ferbs.

• AMC– The Invasion (just horrible)
• FX– The One
• Turner Classic– Notorious (Ingrid again)
• USA– The Contract

I could be working with my brother right now. He’s got a dry-wall business in Compton. Does the inside of office buildings; you know, the metal studs. I could be his partner, said he’d give me that brand new Dodge Ram Charger. You know, the 318 Magnum? The beast? All indoor work, too, lots of AC. I could sleep with my wife every night, fuck her, maybe; take my kids to school every morning. And I’d run his crews, too, probably increase productivity 40 to 50%. Make $100K a year. Do you know why I don’t? Because I love this job.

I thank God for every fucking day he gives me in the corps, oorah.

Yahoo TV Listings