Oct 28 2010

Prime Time

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there’s no guilt in baseball, and it’s never boring… which makes it like sex. There’s never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn’t have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250… not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I’ve got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. ‘Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. ‘Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball – now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God’s sake? It’s a long season and you gotta trust. I’ve tried ’em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

You could watch something else, but why?

Later-

Dave hosts Dana Carvey.  Jon has Barack Obama, Stephen Apolo Anton Ohno.  No Alton.

Boondocks– The Block Is Hot.

Fox and Cablevision at last report have not resolved their dispute.  I must admit I don’t follow every pitch, but I do try and report developing scoring situations and their results.  Since this is likely to be a Pitchers’ Duel (the most boring kind of Baseball) there will probably be a lot of ‘inning reports’ (as in “nothing happened this inning”).  Lincecum and Lee may face each other up to 3 times this Series, but the Giant’s Ace-In-The-Hole is Brian Wilson who was the most successful multi-inning reliever both during the season and in the Playoffs.  I’m hard pressed to decide who I hate more, the Polo Grounds deserters or W‘s ex-team, but my smart money still goes on the Senior League because World Series are about pitching, not offense, and the Junior Leaguers’ offense is sabotaged by the pernicious ‘Designated Hitter’ rule that makes their pitchers an easy out anyway.

Giants in 6.

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rustymancuso581

135 comments

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  1. Jon devotes his whole half hour to Obama.

  3. You are watching a segment on the PBS NewHour about Pakistani child birth and have trouble understanding the British reporter but question why there are captions when the perfectly understandable Pakistani doctor is speaking.  

  5. Not easy to sing. OK rendition 7th Inning is the real tell

  10. 1 Run scores, Runners at the corners 1 Out.

  11. They get the guy at 3rd in a rundown and didn’t get the out.

    Bases loaded 1 Out.

  13. Giants escape only 1 Run Down.

  14. I know this guy knows what he is doing because I’m a Yankee fan.

  16. Broken Bat on the line.

  17. about extending the Division Series to 7 Games.

    I think it’s a good idea.

  18. Rangers 1 – 0 Top 2nd.

  20. Molina gets a ring no matter who wins the pennant. Cool

  21. A double by an American League pitcher.  

  22. By Cliff Lee!

    Runners at 2nd and 3rd.

  23. 2 – 0 Rangers.

  24. reminds me of Tucker Carlson. I’m guessing the pink ribbon is in support of Breast Cancer

  28. Lincecum did hit a Double his first time up.

  29. to do something with the hair.  

  30. Walks to 1st and 2nd

  31. 2 on 1 out.

  32. with two more possible

  33. 2nd and 3rd 1 Out.

  34. with runners on 1st & 3rd

  35. 1 Out, runners at the corners.

  36. If these San Franciscans can hit Lee what does that say about Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez?  

  37. 2 out with runners on 1st & 3rd

  38. After all, they’re “aces” for a reason.

    1. have a tendency to mumble and speak very fast.

    2. Even with Americans, Southern Accents are frequently subtitled.

  42. I told you it would be like this, didn’t I?

    1. I can do it in my sleep.

      Of course I’m a natural tenor.

      Used to be able to sing White Rabbit too, but now I have to start in the right key.

  44. Halfway.

    1. but mostly just sing in the shower

  45. Torres.

    1. That is awfully tolerant of you.

    1. are a bit scruffy. I remember when they had to be well groomed. But my absolute favorite was the Oakland A’s when they sported handle bar mustaches and 1900 uniforms

    1. here too

    1. They would have benched that pitcher if this was Little League.  

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