Prime Time

Almost solid premiers, though the only notable one is NBC’s Community (yes, I DM, thank you for asking).

And as if to prove all I have said, here is one of the first to go! A lad who sat before me on these very benches, who gave up all to serve in the first year of the war. One of the iron youth who have made Germany invincible in the field! Look at him. Sturdy and bronze and clear-eyed! The kind of soldier every one of you should envy! Paul, lad, you must speak to them. You must tell them what it means to serve your fatherland.

• ABC Family– Good Burger
• AMC– Ghost x 2
• Animal Planet– Planet Earth marathon
• Disney– The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl
• Discovery– Survivalist Mashup (premier), Sr. v. Jr. (Forclosure, I must have missed this episode)
• ESPN– College Hoopies, Michigan @ Ohio State, Notre Dame @ DePaul
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Georgia Tech @ Miami, Tennessee @ Auburn
• Food– Ace of Cakes (premier)
• FX– Archer (premier)
• History– Aliens!, Conspiracy Theories! (Season Finale premier), Swamp People (no, they actually exist)
• Lifetime– Notting Hill
• National Geographic– Naked Science
• Sci Fi– Lake Placid 2, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (again)
• TBS– The Wedding Planner
• Turner Classic– The Love Parade, All Quiet on the Western Front
• TNT– Hoopies, Heat @ Magic, Spurs @ Lakers
• Travel– Man v. Food marathon (thank goodness)
• USA– Royal Pains x 2, Fairly Legal x 2 (premiers + Instapeats)

We used to think you knew. The first bombardment taught us better. It’s dirty and painful to die for your country. When it comes to dying for your country it’s better not to die at all! There are millions out there dying for their countries, and what good is it?

Later-

We’ve no use talking like this. You won’t know what I mean. Only, it’s been a long while since we enlisted out of this classroom. So long, I thought maybe the whole world had learned by this time. Only now they’re sending babies, and they won’t last a week! I shouldn’t have come on leave. Up at the front you’re alive or you’re dead and that’s all. You can’t fool anybody about that very long. And up there we know we’re lost and done for whether we’re dead or alive. Three years we’ve had of it, four years! And every day a year, and every night a century! And our bodies are earth, and our thoughts are clay, and we sleep and eat with death! And we’re done for because you *can’t* live that way and keep anything inside you! I shouldn’t have come on leave. I’ll go back tomorrow. I’ve got four days more, but I can’t stand it here! I’ll go back tomorrow! I’m sorry.

• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Gonzaga @ Portland
• FX– Date Movie
• Sci Fi– Supergator (with volcanos!)
• Turner Classic– The Big House
• Toon– Eagleheart (Series Premier)
• USA– White Collar (this week’s)

Dave hosts Howard Stern and Naughty by Nature.  Jon has Michael Mullen (more Michaels), Stephen Jane McGonigal.  Conan hosts Lisa Kudrow, Mike O’Malley, and Interpol.

I’ll tell you how it should all be done. Whenever there’s a big war comin’ on, you should rope off a big field and on the big day, you should take all the kings and their cabinets and their generals, put ’em in the center dressed in their underpants, and let ’em fight it out with clubs. The best country wins.

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