Prime Time

Solid premiers.  A double dose of Nova (it means ‘won’t go’ in Spanish).

I don’t need money. People give me things because they believe in me.

Now, shut up! Shut up, all of you! Now listen to me, you hicks. Yeah, you’re hicks too, and they fooled you a thousand times like they fooled me. But this time, I’m going to fool somebody. I’m going to stay in this race. I’m on my own and I’m out for blood.

Later-

You wanna know what my platform is? Here it is. I’m gonna soak the fat boys and spread it out thin.

Dave hosts Rainn Wilson, Hank Aaron, and The Mountain Goats.  Jon (I hardly know whether to feature him any more, he’s just as big a corporatist as Bill O’Reilly and David Gregory, perhaps you’ll give me your opinion in the comments) has War Criminal Donald Rumsfeld, Stephen Stephanie Coontz.  Conan hosts Jason Sudeikis, Brandon T. Jackson, and G. Love.

I’m the hick they were gonna use to split the hick vote. But I’m standing right here now on my hind legs! Even a dog can learn to do that. Are you standing on your hind legs? Have you learned to do that yet?

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  1. with O’Donnell. I haven’t heard anything, have you?

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