College Hoopies, Duke @ North Carolina. Another miserable remake. Austin City Limits has Aimee Mann and Iron & Wine.
Look, if you have a clumsy child, you make him wear a helmet. If you have death-prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab.
I guess he had it coming.
We all have it coming.
- ABC Family– A Bug’s Life, Ice Age
- AMC– Scarface x 2
- Animal Planet– Must Love Cats, Pit Boss x 2 (all premiers)
- Bravo– House marathon
- Discovery– Sr. v. Jr.
- E!– Something’s Gotta Give
- ESPN– College Hoopies, Texas @ Baylor
- ESPN2– College Hoopies, Morehead State v. Murray State
- Food– Chopped marathon
- FX– The Incredible Hulk
- History– Ancient Aliens!
- Lifetime– Personal Effects, Love and Other Disasters
- Nick– Big Time Rush, Victorious, True Jackson (premiers)
- Oxygen– Juno, The Next Karate Kid
- Sci Fi– Underworld: Evolution, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
- Speed– Supercross
- Spike– Unforgiven
- TBS– What Women Want, Pretty Woman
- Turner Classic– Cool Hand Luke, The Defiant Ones
- TNT– The Mummy Returns, Deep Impact
- Toon– Monster House
- TV Guide– Some Kind of Wonderful (if it wasn’t good I wouldn’t list it)
- USA– Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
- Vs.– Bullriding
YOU HEARD ME. TURN OFF THAT GODDAMN…BLACK…AFRICAN…CONGO…JUNGLE…NOISE!
Later-
Mr. Wuncler, ya know, yesterday I thought this was cute, but, don’t you think you guys are taking this a little far?
Jazmine can leave whenever she wants, but Sammy Davis, Jr. the Pony will have to be put down.
What?!
He’s your pony now. Your percentage was supposed to pay for his food and upkeep. Now he’ll starve to death in a puddle of his own feces.
- ABC Family– Look Who’s Talking Too
- FX– The Strangers
- Oxygen– Loverboy
- Sci Fi– Rise: Blood Hunter, Dracula III: Legacy
- Spike– The Last Boy Scout
- TBS– Selena
- Turner Classic– I am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, Hell’s Highway
- TNT– GoldenEye (Brosnan)
- USA– The Bourne Ultimatum
- Vs.– D-League, Thunderbirds @ Flash
- VH1– The Temptations
SNL– Miley Cyrus (ugh) and The Strokes
Boondocks– The Block is Hot. The Venture Brothers– Powerless in the Face of Death
But, sanity eventually returned, and when it does, you better have your coat.
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