Chronic Tonic- Green Pool Blues

Originally published at VOTS

Every Summer here at chez triv we put up a cheap above ground pool for me and my boys. The first year we did it, it was only 30 inches high and 12 foot in diameter. I would sit down and be in it up to my neck. Low rent paradise. As the boys grew, so did the pools, until we maxed out at 4 x 15 and I went from sitting on the bottom of the pool to a swimways lounge. And some years we’ve had problems with the pool taking on a green tinge, we’ve had to shock and clarify the pool, this usually happens late in the season.This year we put the pool up and it was beautiful. The biggest pool our yard could handle and sparkling crystal clear water? You bet. I waddled my keister up that ladder and frolicked with my kids.

Two weeks later and I notice the water is looking more aqua than it should and I mention this to Cleetus. He shocks the pool, but by the next day it is decidedly green. I begin to freak out. I immediately run to the internet and order some magic green-out elixir. He continues the routine we’ve used in the past while we await the elixir’s arrival. The pool continues it’s transformation and is now a brilliant shade of kelly green. When the elixir arrives, Cleetus follows the directions to the letter:  Balance, chlorinate, shock, dispense, wait overnight and sweep. I am confident this stuff will do the job, its customer reviews are awesome.

The next morning I go to look at the internet while I have my morning coffee and I see my loving husband’s facebook status:

“SNAKE OIL”; I have been spending my days (and money) trying to get my outdoor pool to the liking of my wife. No matter what I do, I end up with a hole in my yard that is slightly (or not so slightly) green. I have bought into every bit of smack that says”If I do this,I can get that. It ain’t happening. If any out there are suffering the same fate;please contact the Better Business Bureau, to let them know that there is a chemical fraud goin’ on. C.

Oh, no. I run out back. There it is. The green lagoon. I come back inside and start moaning online to my friends. Help! Help! My pool is green! It is hideous! Naturally, my friends being the great people that they are, they are right there to console and advise me. Now, to be helpful and apprise them of the exact nature of the greenness, I decided to nip back outside and snap a quick picture. As I am doing this, I notice Cleetus is by the pool, brushing away. I snap the picture and turn and head back towards the house only to hear Cleetus yelling at the back of my head, “Why? Why? To use against me?”

Yes.

So, poli advised me what she uses and I ask my Dad to stop at the hardware store on his way home from work and get us some of that, please! By this time we are oh, so green and murky.  If this doesn’t work, he’s going to have to take a sample to the dude at the pool place and ask him for a magic elixir. Once again, we follow the routine, only this time we’re going with the stuff poli uses. The next morning I could swear it looks much lighter. Fingers crossed, I think it’s working. Cleetus will not say a word–doesn’t want to put the malloik on it. Another dose I think will do it. By Sunday we are blue but cloudy, oh please keep clearing up!

Today I am happy to announce that my pool is again clear and clean. The forecast is rain for the entire week~