Mocking the Maven

(note: So I found this little gem in this piece-)

Thomas Friedman has no soul: The New York Times’ quasi-journalistic Wall-E does it again

Richard (R.J.) Eskow, Salon

Monday, Aug 4, 2014 04:45 PM EST

After our last disquisition on Tom Friedman we thought we were through with him for good. But the violations of decency have become too great, or our spirit has grown too weak. Whatever the cause, a soul cries out at last:  In the name of all that is decent and holy, will this man never stop?

The latest outrage is a column about Madagascar titled “Maybe in America,” and it goes beyond parody – and even beyond that entertaining automated Tom Friedman column generator someone created a while back – to give us a distillate of Friedman in his purest form.

Friedman has usurped the column generator’s role. In the globalized and digitized world he celebrates, he seems to have finally outsourced himself.

Yes- random Bucksbaum!  Ersatz but virtually indistinguishable from the real thing!

Check it out.

New Rules

Not by Mr. Bucksbaum, nor published in Izvestia

August 4, 2014

Imagine if industrial giants sat down with ordinary people like you and me and ironed out some real solutions to our higher education crisis.

With the election season over, maybe you’ve forgotten about higher education, but I certainly haven’t. It would be easy to forget that the problem even exists, when our headlines are constantly splashed with the violence in Uruguay, the authoritarian crackdown in Syria and the still-unstable democratic transition in Honduras. But the higher education problem is growing, and politicians are more divided than ever. Republicans seem to think that higher education can just be ignored. Democratic politicians like Harry Reid, on the other hand, seem to think that shrill rhetoric will substitute for a solution.

But the Democratic party of Harry Reid is not the Democratic party of Franklin Roosevelt. FDR wouldn’t refuse to budge, he’d break ranks with members of his own party because he’d understand that the fate of the country, and his own political career, depended on a lasting solution to the problem of higher education.

It’s good to see the talks between the president and congress getting off to a solid start, but we know there will be plenty of partisan fireworks before any deal is cut. If I had fifteen minutes to pitch my idea to politicians, I’d tell them two things about higher education. First, there’s no way around the issue unless we’re prepared to spend less: and not just spend less, but spend smarter by investing in the kind of human capital that makes countries succeed. That’s going to require some tax cuts as well, but as they say, “Ya gotta get down to brass tacks.”

Second, I’d tell them to look at Sweden, which all but solved its higher education crisis over the past decade. When I visited Sweden in 2002, Mwambe, the cabbie who drove me from the airport, couldn’t stop telling me about how he had to take a second job because of the high cost of higher education. I caught up with Mwambe in Stockholm last year. Thanks to Sweden’s reformed approach toward higher education, Mwambe has enough money in his pocket to finally be able to afford a soccer ball for his kids.

That’s all it takes. Don’t expect to see any solutions as long as industry captains insist on playing a high-stakes game of ping pong with one another. America has to become a first world country again.

Iron Empires and Iron Fists in Australia

Not by Mr. Bucksbaum, nor published in Izvestia

August 4, 2014

What has been going on in Australia is unbelievable, and it has been on my mind ever since it began. It is impossible not to be tantalized by the potential of these events to change the course of Australia’s history. What’s important, however, is that we focus on what this means to the people. The media seems too caught up in spinning the facts to pay attention to how their people are doing. Just call it missing the battle for the bullets.

When thinking about the recent problems, it’s important to remember three things: One, people don’t behave like computer programs, so attempts to treat them as such are a waste of time. Computer programs never suddenly blow themselves up. Two, Australia has spent decades as a dictatorship closed to the world, so a mindset of peace and stability will seem foreign and strange. And three, freedom is an extraordinarily powerful idea: If ethnic conflict is Australia’s curtain rod, then freedom is certainly its flowerpot.

When I was in Australia last August, I was amazed by the variety of the local cuisine, and that tells me two things. It tells me that the citizens of Australia have no shortage of potential entrepreneurs, and that is a good beginning to grow from. Second, it tells me that people in Australia are just like people anywhere else on this flat earth of ours.

So what should we do about the chaos in Australia? Well, it’s easier to start with what we should not do. We should not let seemingly endless frustrations cause the people of Australia to doubt their chance at progress. Beyond that, we need to be careful to nurture the fragile foundations of peace. The opportunity is there, but I worry that the path to stability is so narrow that Australia will have to move down it very slowly. And of course Canberra needs to come to terms with its own history.

Speaking with a small business entrepreneur from the large Suni community here, I asked her if there was any message that she wanted me to carry back home with me. She pondered for a second, and then smiled and said, respre austee, which is a local saying that means roughly, “A sly rabbit will have three openings to its den.”

I don’t know what Australia will be like a few years from now, but I do know that it will probably look very different from the country we see now, even if it remains true to its basic cultural heritage. I know this because, through all the disorder, the people still haven’t lost sight of their dreams.

Time for Leadership

Not by Mr. Bucksbaum, nor published in Izvestia

August 4, 2014

An interesting thought occurred to me today-what if industrial giants sat down with ordinary people like you and me and ironed out some real solutions to our same-sex marriage crisis?

With the election season over, maybe you’ve forgotten about same-sex marriage, but I certainly haven’t. It would be easy to forget that the problem even exists, when our headlines are constantly splashed with the violence in Maldives, the authoritarian crackdown in Mexico and the still-unstable democratic transition in Spain. But the same-sex marriage problem is growing, and politicians are more divided than ever. Republicans seem to think that same-sex marriage can just be ignored. Democratic politicians like Nancy Pelosi, on the other hand, seem to think that unscientific rhetoric will substitute for a solution.

But the Democratic party of Nancy Pelosi is not the Democratic party of Lyndon Johnson. Johnson wouldn’t just filibuster, he’d reach across the aisle because he’d understand that the fate of the country, and his own political career, depended on a lasting solution to the problem of same-sex marriage.

Let’s make America for the world what Cape Canaveral was to America: the world’s greatest launching pad. If I had fifteen minutes to pitch my idea to politicians, I’d tell them two things about same-sex marriage. First, there’s no way around the issue unless we’re prepared to spend less: and not just spend less, but spend smarter by investing in the kind of national infrastructure that makes countries succeed. That’s going to require some tax cuts as well, but as they say, “Ain’t nothing to it but to do it.”

Second, I’d tell them to look at Singapore, which all but solved its same-sex marriage crisis over the past decade. When I visited Singapore in 2001, Mwambe, the cabbie who drove me from the airport, couldn’t stop telling me about how he had to take a second job because of the high cost of same-sex marriage. I caught up with Mwambe in Singapore last year. Thanks to Singapore’s reformed approach toward same-sex marriage, Mwambe has enough money in his pocket to finally be able to afford a soccer ball for his kids.

That’s all it takes. Don’t expect to see any solutions as long as politicians insist on playing a high-stakes game of ping pong with one another. America has to rise above it all.

In Turkmenistan’s World, it’s the Past vs. the Future

Not by Mr. Bucksbaum, nor published in Izvestia

August 4, 2014

Yesterday’s news from Turkmenistan is truly historic, and it raises questions about whether there might just be light at the end of the tunnel. What’s important, however, is that we focus on what this means to the people. The current administration seems too caught up in worrying about their own skins to pay attention to what’s important on the ground. Just call it missing the fields for the wheat.

When thinking about the ongoing troubles, it’s important to remember three things: One, people don’t behave like muppets, so attempts to treat them as such are going to come across as foreign. Muppets never suddenly blow themselves up. Two, Turkmenistan has spent decades as a dictatorship closed to the world, so a mindset of peace and stability will seem foreign and strange. And three, capitalism is an extraordinarily powerful idea: If corruption is Turkmenistan’s glass ceiling, then capitalism is certainly its flowerpot.

When I was in Turkmenistan last June, I was amazed by the variety of the local cuisine, and that tells me two things. It tells me that the citizens of Turkmenistan have no shortage of courage, and that is a good beginning to grow from. Second, it tells me that people in Turkmenistan are just like people anywhere else on this flat earth of ours.

So what should we do about the chaos in Turkmenistan? Well, it’s easier to start with what we should not do. We should not lob a handful of cruise missiles and hope that some explosions will snap Turkmenistan’s leaders to attention. Beyond that, we need to be careful to nurture the fragile foundations of peace. The opportunity is there, but I worry that the path to peace is so narrow that Turkmenistan will have to move down it very slowly. And of course Ashgabat needs to cooperate.

Speaking with a local farmer from the small orthodox community here, I asked him if there was any message that he wanted me to carry back home with me. He pondered for a second, and then smiled and said, ahim bin tal, which is a local saying that means roughly, “A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.”

I don’t know what Turkmenistan will be like a few years from now, but I do know that it will probably look very different from the country we see now, even if it remains true to its basic cultural heritage. I know this because, through all the disorder, the people still haven’t lost sight of their dreams.

Why Nations Fail

Not by Mr. Bucksbaum, nor published in Izvestia

August 5, 2014

An interesting thought occurred to me today-what if industrial giants sat down with ordinary people like you and me and ironed out some real solutions to our health insurance crisis?

With the election season over, maybe you’ve forgotten about health insurance, but I certainly haven’t. It would be easy to forget that the problem even exists, when our headlines are constantly splashed with the violence in Bhutan, the authoritarian crackdown in Rwanda and the still-unstable democratic transition in Luxembourg. But the health insurance problem is growing, and politicians are more divided than ever. Democrats seem to think that health insurance can just be ignored. Republican politicians like Rand Paul, on the other hand, seem to think that shrill rhetoric will substitute for a compromise.

But the Republican party of Rand Paul is not the Republican party of Ronald Reagan. Reagan wouldn’t refuse to budge, he’d reach across the aisle because he’d understand that the fate of the country, and his own political career, depended on a lasting solution to the problem of health insurance.

Let’s make America for the world what Cape Canaveral was to America: the world’s greatest launching pad. If I had fifteen minutes to pitch my idea to politicians, I’d tell them two things about health insurance. First, there’s no way around the issue unless we’re prepared to spend less: and not just spend less, but spend smarter by investing in the kind of human capital that makes countries succeed. That’s going to require some tax cuts as well, but as they say, “them’s the breaks.”

Second, I’d tell them to look at Norway, which all but solved its health insurance crisis over the past decade. When I visited Norway in 2000, Mwambe, the cabbie who drove me from the airport, couldn’t stop telling me about how he had to take a fourth job because of the high cost of health insurance. I caught up with Mwambe in Oslo last year. Thanks to Norway’s reformed approach toward health insurance, Mwambe has enough money in his pocket to finally be able to afford a playground for his kids.

That’s all it takes. Don’t expect to see any solutions as long as fringe bloggers insist on playing a high-stakes game of blackjack with one another. America’s got to call a time-out.

The Other Arab Spring

Not by Mr. Bucksbaum, nor published in Izvestia

August 5, 2014

Last week’s events in Kiribati were earth-flattening, although we may not know for years or even decades what their final meaning is. What’s important, however, is that we focus on what this means to the citizens themselves. The current administration seems too caught up in worrying about their own skins to pay attention to the important effects on daily life. Just call it missing the myths for the lie.

When thinking about the ongoing turmoil, it’s important to remember three things: One, people don’t behave like migratory birds, so attempts to treat them as such inevitably look foolish. Migratory birds never suddenly blow themselves up. Two, Kiribati has spent decades being batted back and forth between colonial powers, so a mindset of peace and stability will seem foreign and strange. And three, hope is an extraordinarily powerful idea: If authoritarianism is Kiribati’s ironing board, then hope is certainly its flowerpot.

When I was in Kiribati last June, I was amazed by the level of Westernization for such a closed society, and that tells me two things. It tells me that the citizens of Kiribati have no shortage of human capital, and that is a good beginning to grow from. Second, it tells me that people in Kiribati are just like people anywhere else on this flat earth of ours.

So what should we do about the chaos in Kiribati? Well, it’s easier to start with what we should not do. We should not lob a handful of cruise missiles and hope that some explosions will snap Kiribati’s leaders to attention. Beyond that, we need to be careful to nurture the fragile foundations of peace. The opportunity is there, but I worry that the path to stability is so narrow that Kiribati will have to move down it very slowly. And of course Tarawa Atoll needs to cooperate.

Speaking with a up-and-coming violinist from the unpopular Protestant community here, I asked her if there was any message that she wanted me to carry back home with me. She pondered for a second, and then smiled and said, shakka-do-lakka-the, which is a local saying that means roughly, “That tea is sweetest whose herbs have dried longest.”

I don’t know what Kiribati will be like a few years from now, but I do know that it will remain true to its cultural heritage, even if it looks very different from the country we see now. I know this because, through all the disorder, the people still haven’t lost sight of their dreams.

2 comments

    • on 08/05/2014 at 07:54
      Author
    • on 08/05/2014 at 23:27

    It’s a fucking parody of a parody, dog bless us.  

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