Jan 21 2018

Throwball Playoffs 2018 League Championships: Vikings at Eagles

Now that you’ve had a crash course in Ethics (I assume you didn’t waste your time watching a stupid Throwball game) I have a problem for you-

If you have a favorite team and a second favorite team and their two most hated Division rivals face each other, who do you root for?

The rival of your second favorite team of course, you hate them least.

Except I hate the Eagles a lot. And they’re really not very good at all.

Also if the Vikings win it will be the first team to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium in 52 years so it has novelty value. I also don’t think the Eagles match up as well against the Patsies (who I hate more than anybody) as the Vikings do and it’s always about who you hate the most.

Problem solved!

Next up- The Trolley Problem. Actually highly relevant to current events like the development of autonomous automobiles. It can easily be expressed in more stark terms like- if your car only has the the choice of killing you, the “driver”, or a bus of innocent children (they are always innocent, unlike you, and always children, full of potential), which should it choose? Now from a Spock-like Utilitarian perspective the choice is obvious “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.” but from a Theological standpoint one could argue that if they die in a state of innocence they are guaranteed salvation and a seat at the feet of Jesus while you would be granted more time to seek forgiveness and repent your evil, evil ways.

Not so easy is it? Constantine was not baptized (symbolically washing away his sins) until he was nearly dead and no longer an active Emperor required by his position to do sinful stuff.

Of course there is the fact the choice would not really be yours but the programmer’s (that would be someone like me) and the technology is mere vaporware on which the excess capital of our Mega Corporations and Plutocratic Billionaires is being wasted in the hopes of freeing virtuous Investment from the messy necessity of Labor (that means keeping Poors alive, ick).

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