Prime Time

Pretty solid premiers, none worth remarking on.

All my brothers and brothers-in-laws tell me what a good-hearted guy I am. You don’t get to be good-hearted by accident. You get kicked around long enough, you become a professor of pain.

• AMC– True Grit
• Bravo– Jerry Maguire x 2
• Disney– Wizards of Waverly Place (one hour special), Fish Hooks (both premiers), Phineas and Ferb
• Discovery– Gold Rush (last week’s and Season Finale), Flying Wild
• E!– The Soup
• ESPN– College Hoopies, Connecticut @ Louisville
• ESPN2– College Hoopies, Virginia Commonwealth @ Wichita State
• FX– Big Momma’s House, Big Momma’s House 2
• Oxygen– The Pacifier
• Sci Fi– Merlin (premier)
• Style– When Harry Met Sally
• TBS– 50 First Dates
• Turner Classic– The Hospital, Marty (Paddy Chayefsky night)
• TLC– Say Yes to the Dress marathon (with premier)
• Toon– Generator Rex, Clone Wars (premiers)

Ma, sooner or later, there comes a point in a man’s life when he’s gotta face some facts. And one fact I gotta face is that, whatever it is that women like, I ain’t got it.

Later-

Right now, there is a whole, an entire generation that never knew anything that didn’t come out of this tube. This tube is the gospel, the ultimate revelation; this tube can make or break presidents, popes, prime ministers; this tube is the most awesome goddamn propaganda force in the whole godless world, and woe is us if it ever falls into the hands of the wrong people, and that’s why woe is us that Edward George Ruddy died. Because this company is now in the hands of CCA, the Communications Corporation of America; there’s a new chairman of the board, a man called Frank Hackett, sitting in Mr. Ruddy’s office on the twentieth floor. And when the 12th largest company in the world controls the most awesome goddamn propaganda force in the whole godless world, who knows what shit will be peddled for truth on this network?

• AMC– The Quick and the Dead, Dracula 2000
• Oxygen– Eight Below
• Sci Fi– Being Human (this week’s), Merlin (Instapeat)
• Spike– Die Another Day (Brosnan)
• TBS– The Truman Show, My Best Friend’s Wedding
• Turner Classic– Network (more Paddy)

Dave hosts David Spade, Andy Kindler, and Lukas Nelson and Promise of the Real.

It’s too late, Diana. There’s nothing left in you that I can live with. You’re one of Howard’s humanoids. If I stay with you, I’ll be destroyed. Like Howard Beale was destroyed. Like Laureen Hobbs was destroyed. Like everything you and the institution of television touch is destroyed. You’re television incarnate, Diana: Indifferent to suffering; insensitive to joy. All of life is reduced to the common rubble of banality. War, murder, death are all the same to you as bottles of beer. And the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensations of time and space into split seconds and instant replays. You’re madness, Diana. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure, and pain… and love. And it’s a happy ending: Wayward husband comes to his senses, returns to his wife, with whom he has established a long and sustaining love. Heartless young woman left alone in her arctic desolation. Music up with a swell; final commercial. And here are a few scenes from next week’s show.

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